Models of YA Fiction

I go through phases and I had way too much fun doing the other vlog thingy so I made another one! So I might churn out a bunch of these babies and then disappear for another year. Let's just go with it until I get bored. :p

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 3

Chapter Three - Fifth Grade

[Moving right along...]

The day that Elsie MacNicols walked intyo my life was a day that I'll never forget.

"Class, we have a new student today. Her name is Elsie MacNicols," My teacher, Ms. Crenshaw [Ms. Crenshaw was a teacher at my elementary school whom I was never a student of.], told us. Then she went over to the black board and wrote:

WELCOME ELSY MCNICHOLES.

Then Elsie walked in and I read her mind. I don't know why I read her mind that moment, I just did. [Since when have you been able to read minds? What the hell is this girl?]

The old bat doesn't even know how to spell my name, Elsie thought. I almost instantly felt sorry for her. So I raised my hand.

"Yes, Ms. Coffield," said Ms. Crenshaw.

"Are you sure that that's how you spell Elsie's name? It just doesn't look right?"

"It is the right spelling. Right Elsie."

"Actually, it is the wrong spelling. In Elsie, it's not spelled with a y, it's ie. And in McNicholes, ther is an a in between the M and C, and there is no h or e." Then Elsie sat down in the only empy seat avalable. Next to me. On the next page you'll see how the classroom was set up. The town was small, so there were only 20 people in the class.

[Actually you won't be seeing the crappy class diagram because my scanner is still not hooked up but it only serves to show you that Kell Bell's in the back corner between Elsie and that dreamy sexpot Kyle *swoon* with her friends Sarah and Jimmy sitting in front of them.]

That was the way we were set up. I had to sit next to Kyle. He was an ass hole. But a cute ass hole.

"OK, class," ms. Crenshaw said. "We're going to play question."

We all groaned except Elsie. We all hated this damn game. Ms. Crenshaw would ask a question, and whoever answered it would get to sk another question.

"Alright class, today is December 7, 1977, on this day, 26 year ago, what happened.

Kyle quickly raised his hand.

"Yes, Kyle."

"It was the bombing of Pearl Harbor." [Gee, I wonder what I was learning about in school... This is what I used my spotty education for.]

"That'is correct. What is your question."

"Is Kelly Coffield a virgin?"

The whole class abrupted (?) in laughter as the color drained from my face. How dare that no class peice of shit say that about me. I looked around the classroom and saw that Sarah, Laura, and Elsie were not laughing, my loyal friend and sister. And Elsie was new. How would she know what was going on.

[Thoughts going through Elsie's head: I wonder who else's virginity is in question. *bats eyes at Kyle*]

Then Xena raised her hand, the Bitch. [With a capitol B!] "I know the answer."

"Yes, Xena," Kyle said smugly.

"No. The answer is now."

[And Ms. Crenshaw's just letting this happen....]

"And why do you say that, Xena?"

"Because," she said flipping her long blond hair behind her shoulders. "There is no way in hell that kelly Coffield, of the slutty, sleazy, no good Coffield family, could be a virgin. Sluttiness is in the whore's genes." [Don't you just love kid logic. I remember my best friend when I was a kid telling me that the guy I was crushing on had sex with his mother...Just because. Except we couldn't say sex without giggling so we had 100 euphenisms for it.] She smiled smugly as half the class clapped for her.

"Well said, Xena," Kyle said. "That was well said."

I looked over at Ms. Crenshaw, she had her head in her hands. [I have my had in my hands. I'm the one who actually wrote this crap.] The woman had finally given up on this class."

And then Xena stood up and said "but the real question is, who did she do?"

The class with the exception of Sarah, Laura, and Elsie started laughing again, then Mara Suchlensky stood up. "I bet it was Kyle Bradly," Mara said.

Then Kyle stood up. "Now I would not do Trailor Trash (TM) like that," he said pointing to me. [She's sure being complacent among all these accusations for a girl who bit and drank the blood of a girl who took her crappy ring.]

Then my sweet little sister , stood up. "My sister is not Trailor Trash (TM)," she said, and put her hands on her hips.

"Class," Ms. Crenshaw yelled. "Hush up!"

They all just kept talking so i di the usual and got out. Sarah followed for the first time. [Ah, so the atrocity of a class is a common occurence, I guess?]

"I don't understand how the can constantly make fun of you like that, Kell Bell."

I looked over at her. "I don't understand how we're still friends." [Neither can I. Kelly's a total bitch to her.]

She looked over at me. "I understand."

"How?" I asked.

"We understand each other."

"I may understand you, but do you understand me?"

Sarah looked at me questionally. "OK, so maybe I don't understand you." I laughed. "But I still understand you better than everybody else."

"that's true."

"why don't you flaunt your beauty?" [An odd question for a ten-year-old.]

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kelly, you're gorgeous, why not show the world that you're not Trailor Trash (TM)."

"I don't know." I looked at her. and I saw my friends poorly conceled jelousy. "Why, are you jelouse?" I said.

She started laughing nervously. "I'm not jelous. Why would I be jelous of you!" She started laughing at it. Laughing like a maniac. I thought she was gonna go nuts.

I looked back over at the school. "Sarah shut up," I said.

"Why," she had shut up, but she still had that curious face on her face. [If only Stephanie Meyer could write like this...]

"What do you think about the new girl Sarah."

"Well, Kell Bell," she said as we walked up to me. "I heard from my mother that hr father and Angela Goode's mother, are getting married and moving next door to Jimmy."

"Good, God," I mumbled. The Goodes living right next door to one of my dearest friends. How revolting. [Methinks she hangs around the Fear's too much.]

"You should not use thy Lords name in vain, Kelly."

"Since when are you Ms. I don't Use they Lords name in Vain, Sarah?"

"I don't know. My mother told me that."

"Youre mother tells you a lot of thing, doesn't she, Sarah?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know much."

[It's funny to reread over this, as I haven't in thirteen years. But Kella and Sarah's relationship is pretty much the same even in the latest version. They constantly insult each other and Sarah's jealous that Kella's prettier than her. :P]

"Maybe, maybe not. All's I know is that you're smarter than me."

"You got that right."

"Well, you could be a little more modest than that."

I think I was enjoying our screwed up little conversation. "Sarah," I said. "One day you'll get your wish." I don't know why I said it, but I knew it was true. One day Sarah would get her wish. Because I would make it come true. I always did. And I knew that one day Sarah would not doubt my powers.\

It was kind of scrwed up what her biggest fear was. Me. Yes, her biggest fear was her own best friend.

I think that it was maybe inevitabel. I wasn't afraid of anything. And my only weakness was my humanity. It subjected me to human emotions. and I became one person's number one victom.

[This is a bunch of seemingly pointless meandering but it was supposed to show Kelly and Sarah's master-servant sort of relationship as the base of events of later books that were never written. Later on Sarah sort of comes into her own and marries Kratine and becomes Kelly's worst enemy.]

Sarah and I walked to the lake. We often went to the lake. It was clear and if you stare at it you could see forever. At least in the middle. [The lake is full of hallucinogens which is why everyone in Shadyside is insane.]

It was nice there, and I liked it. Me and Sarah were sitting on the short dock. No one knew why it was there. They never went sailing ont he lake anymore, although they used to. [We all remember that lovely incident when five people drowned on a bright sunny day.] I was sitting there staring at the trees, when something changed, and I saw Fat Freddy.



[A poison apple for whoever guesses what book that was stolen from.]

Again. I had seen him before. In my dreams. he had told me that he could make my wishes come true.

But he had to give. me some credit. I was smarter than that. I knew that nothing's free. and that nobody got something for nothing. It was sort of like the kids at school. Especially the three of them--Kyle, Xena, and Mara--boy what I would give to see them dead. I had truly grown to hate them. but now matter how much they teased and tormented me, I'd still have my self-respect. I didnt' beg anybody for help, I was just fine on my own. [You hear voices and see beings other people can't. You're fine...]

But Fat Freddy was an arrogant, self-center guy. he thought he was better than the god who created him. he was stupid, in my book.

He had no respect for anybody. Fat Freddy reminded me of Kyle. Kyle was an ass hole just like Xena and Mara. But Xena and Mara only acted tough to me because they were terrified. Of what, I'm not sure.

But Kyle was a different story. He was not afraid of me. And ofr that alone, he had my respect. I know it seems kind of stupid, but me, and Kyle are a bit alike. We're both smart, fail on purpose, [then you're not very smart] although he was human, he was a very divine human being. I didn't know exactly what he was, but i knew he was something special. Something having to do with me, althought not in his conscious mind.

He held my interest. And I think I even had a little crush on him. But off the subject of Kyle alone, and back to the three of them. Kyle was intriguing. Xena and mara were wimps. They made me sick. but oneday i would get back at them. I knew I would.

I slowly turned to look at my friend. I knew at that instant what she wanted. Beauty. She wanted to be beautiful. Like me. "I know, Sarah," I said.

And she just looked at me.

[Fifth grade? That's what I get for naming chapters before I write them. Is it so wrong that part of me really wants to rewrite this story? Next time: Chapter Four - Scavenger Hunt. Guess which book that's stolen from? ;P]

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows... Part 2, because plagerism is fun!

Last time on Any Way the Wind Blows, we learned our heroine Kelly’s dad ditched her family when she was four, her mom has killed people and it’s possible Kelly has too, and her young looking geriatric aunt gave her an evil ring from Mars, which is causing her to hear a strange man‘s voice in her head. What can possibly happen next?

Chapter Two--Innocent

[*snort* Hardly.]

About the time I started writing in a diary. When I got home that night my mother surprised me by telling me Aunt Laurella had stopped by and dropped of an old book.

It was brown on the outside, and was made out of leather. My name was inscribed on the inside cover. And that made me happy. The pages had all faded to a dull yellow and I could tell that it was old. And that was OK with me because I liked old things.


I wrote in it about my crushes, my hopes, my fears, and all my dates with boys. [You’re fricken SEVEN!] It was a very private.

Also, the day after I got back from meeting Aunt Laurella, something happened to me.

It was recess, and I was sitting in the grass showing my ring to my best friend, Sarah.

Sarah Beth Fear [Told you this was a Fear Street fanfic.] wasn’t exactly rich, but she wasn’t all that poor, either. Sarah wasn’t exactly pretty. She wasn’t ugly either. [This story isn’t great. It’s not good either.] Sarah had long light blond hair, and dark brown eyes that never showed any emotion what-so-ever.

Sarah was seven--like me--and we were in the same class. Her family lived right next door to mine.

Sarah’s father was in the car selling business. He took old cars and restored them like new. Her mother on the other hand worked for a modeling agency. She wasn’t a model herself--she had tried to be but was too short--she was vice president off the agency. Julie Fear was pretty famous. [Because other models FEAR her. Yeah. I said it.]

Sarah’s family owned the south half of the town practically. The Fear’s owned Fear Street, The Simon Fear Mansion [Why haven’t they torn it down?], The Fear Street Woods, Fear Lake, Fear Island, and The Fear Street Cemetery. [Can city cemeteries be privately owned?] They owned a lot. Hell, they even owned our house.

For I lived at 97 Fear Street. [Next door to 99, the house of evil.] But they didn’t charge us any rent because Julie and my father had grown up together, and she and my mother were quite close. [I wish I had friends like that. ^_^]

Well anyways, Sarah and I wre sitting on the grass looking at the ring, when Xena Anderson [Who is actually still in the current day version of this story, and she’s still a bitch.] and her fan club--Mara Zuchensky, and Emily Morris--walked up and grabbed it out of my hand.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Xena?” I asked.

She held it up to her pale face with her left hand. “I thought you had better taste for jewelry than this, it ain’t even real silver.”

I jumped to my feet. “Give it back,” I demanded holding out my right hand.

“Oh, it’s sentimental value to you,” Xena said very melodramatically. “Why, Kelly, I didn’t believe that feelings existed to The Ice Princess.” She raised her right hand up to the small of her neck as she said this.

That’s also another thing about me, along with ’The Ice Princess,’ I had about half a dozen more stupid nicknames; Kelly K, Hold ‘em, Thrill ‘em, Kiss ‘em, Kill ‘em Coffield [Oh Lord did I actually take this from the song from Batman Forever?], The Megabtich, Kell Bell, Whore around Coffield [Well, from the sounds of her dates she kind of earned this one.], and Kell.

Xena was standing there so strongly, and confidently. Her long light blond hair flowing gently in the breeze. Her clear jade green eyes staring directly into my demonic once. So cruelly, as if challenging me to do something if I dared. But then something just went off.

I grabbed her pale skinny neck, pushed her down and banged her head into the ground. That stunned her. Then I grabbed the arm where she was holding my silver ring. I raised her wrist up to my mouth and bit her as hard as I could on her vain. [Is her ¾ demonic nature actually vamparic?]

The pale, blonde, and beautiful, Xena Anderson who I hated so that moment screamed all her bloody hearts content and dropped the ring. [Mission accomplished, or Nimnu kanryou as Heero would say.] Then Mara and Emily started screaming too, while as Sarah just stared. [She’s thinking about what a freak her best friend is.]

I picked up the ring and walked off licking the blood on my lips. I didn’t know why I licked the blood, I just did. But all too soon I heard Him again. [No, not God.]

“Very good, Kelika.”

I stopped. “Who are you?” I asked.

“I might as well introduce myself,” He said. “I am Kratine, of the ancient past.” [Those who get this win a picture of an apple!]


Quickly, before ‘Kratine,’ or whoever he was noticed, I turned back to see what was going on back at the playground. Xena was crying hysterically, and our second grade teacher was trying to get her to shut up. I saw all the kids in my class, along with other second grade classes were gathering around to watch. Among them I saw my sister, Laura, and her own best friend, Angela Goode. [I had to work one in somewhere.] But she wasn’t all that good. [Haha! Bad joke!] In my life, I did a lot to Angela. A lot of stuff that hurt her. Now that I think of it, I’m not sorry for any of it. [Since I never made it that far, I’ll go ahead and explain. Later when they’re in their twenties Kelly steels Angela’s husband.] And I just kept walking till I got home.

I was surprised to see my mother home. I wasn’t quite sure what she did for a living, but I knew it paid handsomely. But why we didn’t live in a better nationhood [Or pay their generous friends something], I found out alter in my life. [I don’t think she actually ever did.]

“Mother,” I said as I walked into the dining room. “What are you doing home?”

Mother was staring into the mirror right beside it on the wall. “Just thinking, Kelika.”

“About what?” I asked. I looked at my mothers reflection in the mirror. Her long blond hair was scraggly and unwashed. Her bangs hung in her face, and I saw tears in her cerelean blue eyes. I had never seem her cry before.

“My parent,” she said. Mother sighed and put her head in her hands. “I am weak,” she said forlornly.

“Why?”

“Because I’m crying.” She rose her head out of her hands and a wry smile crossed her beautiful pale face. “About my parents.” She looked at me. “Crying is a weakness, Kelika. Don’t ever do it. Especially not in front of anybody.” [Because repression is so healthy.] She turned away from me and looked back into the mirror.

“Mother,” I said.

“Yes, Kelika.”

“Things have been going on with me.”

“What kind of things?”

“Well, there’s this lizard, and--”

She cut me off. “Lizard? I think you’ve been spending too much time by yourself.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I looked up at her. “I know it sound crazy, but he’s really there. He made me do something today. He made me bite Xena Anderson’s wrist.”

She was just staring at me then, as if she was trying to project a part of herself into me. “Did this ‘Lizard,’ have a name, Kelika?”

“Yes,” I replied softly. “Kratine.”

She stared at me and her face when pale. Then she smacked me right across my face. “Never mention him to me, again,” she said through clenched teeth. Then she stood up and started to walk back to her room when she turned around to look at me. “Never!” she screamed.

I just sat there till the others got home.

“You wouldn’t know cool if it bit you on the ass,” I heard my brother Michael yelling from the front hall.

“I would so,” my sister Laura replied.

“You shouldn’t swear, Michael,” my sister Megan said that too him. Boy was she ever a goody-goody.

Jus then Jennifer came running in. “Guess what, Kelly?” [You’d think they’d be asking her what happened in school]

“What,” I said with no emotion.

“I’m getting skipped to the fourth grade.” She looked so happy. Her curly black pigtails bopping u and down.

“What” I was surprised. I knew Jen-Jen was smart, but I never guess that she would be skipped a grade.

“Well at least I actually have friends, Jennifer. I don’t go around acting like I’m better than God,” Michael said.

“Well you act like you’re better than shit.” [???]

“I am better than shit.”

“No you are not.” [This is the girl whose getting skipped a grade.]

“I am too.” [I grow weary of the siblings. They added nothing to the story, anyway. I don’t even know why they’re there. Or why so many. In later versions I got rid of Michael and Laura.]

This never ending battle between Michael and Jennifer was getting old and tiresome. “Will you both shut the hell up,” I said. They were both quiet and turned to look at me. “Jen-Jen, Michael is better than shit.” I said looking at her. Then I turned to look at Michael. “Michael, Jennifer does not think she’s better than shit. [I think you meant God, Kell.] Ok.” They didn’t answer. And Laura spoke.

“Why did you do it, Kell Bell?” she asked me, ger green eyes penetrating into mine.

“Huh? Do what?” Megan asked, her cerelean blue eyes wide with envy that Laura knew something she didn’t.

“Yeah, what did you do, Kelly?” Michael asked. “I heard rumors that you were a vampire, an tried to drink The Anderson Bitch’s blood.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Laura said. Sweet Laura. Always sticking up for me. Would she ever stop? [They were intended to have the Elizabeth-Jessica kind of relationship. Gag.]

“First of all, what did Kelly do?” Jen-Jen now had control of the group that was trying to figure out what I did, and I wasn’t even a part of it, when mother came out of her room. No one got to answer Jennifer’s question.

“What the hell are you kids doing home so early?” she said to the other four. But not to me. She knew why I came home. And no one answered her ridiculous question. “I’m going out of town for a little while. “It was then I noticed her suitcases behind her. Mother took out something from her pocket. “Here,” she said. It ws five bills of money. The first one to Jen-Jen. The second to Laura. The third to Megan. The fourth to Michael. And the last to me. I tooka look at it and was surprised to see a one hundred dollar bill.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“I’ll be back in two weeks.” She went to get her bags when Jen-Jen stopped her. “What do you want, Jennifer?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m getting skipped to the fourth grade.”

“That’s great, Jen. Bye.” And she left. [I think Suzy pwns at bad parenting. And in case it wasn’t mentioned, Michael is the oldest at ten, Jennifer’s eight, the twins are seven, and Megan’s five.]

“I think she just wants to get away from us,” Megan said. “She doesn’t love us anymore.”

“I don’t think she ever did,” Michael chirped in.

“You’re such a downer, Michael,” Laura sad to him.

“No he’s not, he’s sexist,” Jen-Jen said.

“Will you all shut up. I’m getting really sick of your fighting.”

“Kelika,” Laura said sweetly. She was one of the few precious people whom I allowed to call me by my real name. I didn’t even look u at her as she said my name. I just got up and left the room.

After my mother got back, [What? Nothing about the two weeks she was gone? Nothing about how they didn’t have anything to eat and spent their money on the crap they didn’t get from their mother? Nothing at all?] she started making me see a psychiatrist. His name was Dr. Nesbit. He was old and had white hair. Dr. Nesbit fit the description of what most people think that a psychiatrist looks like. Child patients often have a choice to do something constructive when we were talking to the guy. [Not that I know from experience.] I myself was painting a picture.

“What do you think your problem is, Kelika.” [He fails as a psychiatrist.]

I wlake over to him confidently. “First thing’s first, ass hole. Don’t you ever call me Kelika again. I don’t like you, and I should hope you don’t like me. So I’ll call you Dr. Nesbit, and you sure as hell have better not call me Kelika.”

“Well then what would you like me to call you?”

“Kelly.”

“Alright Kelly. What do you think your problem is?”

“I ain’t got no problem.” I walked back over to the painting stand, and started painting a picture.

A little while later, Dr. Ass Hole--as I’d like to call him--came over to look at my painting.”

“Tha’s a very interesting painting, Kelly,” he said nervously. I could tell he was afraid of me. It was one of my powers. I could sense fear. I allways thought it was funny. Half the people I knew’s number one fear was me. Even Sarah and Kyle. I’ve explained Sarah, but not Kyle. My dear Kyle. He was my worst enemy for half my life, but not all of it.

“What is it, Kelly?”

He was looking at it to see if it had hidden meaning. If it was a metaphore. I often spoke in metaphores, but his was not one of those times. [I think I was confused about what a metaphor was.]

What Dr. Ass hole was looking at, a blond girl laying I a coffind, a man with black hair, and another woman with blond, staring down at the dead girl, it wasn’t exactly a metaphore, but it wasn’t necessarily far from the truth as well. Those two people staring down at the dead girl actually came to her funeral, 20 years into the future that is. [This is foreshadowing.]

“It’s me,” I said.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s me.”

“Kelly, you don’t have blond hair, you have black.”

“I’m going to dye it in the future.”

“Well who are the other two?”

“The guys my husband.”

“And the other?”

I shrugged.

After that I went home and never went back. [Well wasn’t that…pointless…]

My life went on somewhat normally for the next three years. Till I reached age 10. Fifth grade.

Kratine stopped speaking to me shortly after my visit with Dr. Ass Hole. He pretended to leave, and I believed it for a while.

When I was ten I met someone very vital in my life. She almost stole my votes for Miss Shadyside. Nearly stole my boyfriend. Tried to drive me insane.

She may have done a lot of horrible things to me, but I did worse to her, and a lot of other people.

Let’s just say that I don’t like to be ignored.

Fear Street: The Surprise Party

Meg: I'm the super annoying heroine who loves nature, bikeriding, and my boyfriend Tony. Oh, yeah, I love when people are trying to kill me too. That's a real turn-on for me. I'm so lucky I live in Shadyside!

Tony: My life sucks. I'm poor, my dad's an alcoholic, and my best friend died last year. But I had nothing to do with it. I swear.

Shannon: Shut up. I'm gorgeous.

Lisa: Hey guys! You'll never guess what I just heard. Ellen's coming to visit! Nevermind the fact that I hardly knew her, but I'm super excited!

Meg: Let's throw her a party! A surprise party.

DUN DUN DUN!

----

Meg: Look at the cool invitations I got for the party.

Shannon: I don't think we should have a party.

Meg: But why?

Shannon: Oh, I don't know. My brother's dead and her parents decided to move her out of town. It just seems fishy somehow.

Meg: But why? Oh no! Someone cut up my invitations! Now I'm definitely going to have this party no matter what!

----

Tony: I've been getting threatening phone calls. I don't think you should have the party.

Meg: But being in danger gets me all hot.

Tony: You're a freak! I'm breaking up with you!

Meg: Surprisingly I'm really not that upset considering we've been together two years.

----

Dwayne: Hey Shannon, wanna get freaky with me.

Shannon: Eww.

Dwayne: She will be mine one day. I swear it.

----

Meg: (Calls Ellen) Hi Ellen.

Ellen: Hi Meg. Long time no see. Sooo....

Meg: Sooo....

Ellen: You and Tony still together?

Meg: Um...yeah?

Ellen: Lucky you. Bye.

----

Meg: (gets red paint put in her lunchbag. It looks like BLOOOOOOD) I'm still having this party.

Meg: (almost gets run over) I am sooooooo having this party.

----

Shannon: My cousin Mike who looks just like Evan is coming to visit in time for the party.

Meg: How convenient!

----

Brian: I'm Meg's weird cousin and I like to play Dungeons and Drag--I mean, Wizards and Dragons in the Fear Street woods. And one day I'm going to be a fourth level wizard and rule the world! Mwahahahah!

Tony: Sounds like a plan. I'll join you.

Brian: (shifty eyes)

----

Tony's Drunk Dad: Tony's missing. He went with Brian to play that weird game.

Meg: Oh no! I must go after them!

----

Evil Voice: Don't have the party for Ellen. (Pushes Meg down a ravine)

Meg: Oh I'm going to have this party, Mr. The best party you've ever seen.

Tony: Meg, you shouldn't have the party.

Meg's Dad: Get's your greasy hands off my daughter.

----

Dwayne: I'm so glad Evan's dead. Now he won't stand between mine and Shannon's true love.

Tony: DUDE! Not cool. Evan was my best friend!

Dwayne: Pussy.

----

Meg: You look like shit.

Brian: I'm a wizard. And I'm going to bring Evan back from the otherside.

Meg: Eh, this is Shadyside. Anything is possible I guess. But I think I'll be leaving.

----

Meg: Hey Ellen.

Ellen: Hey.

Shannon: So...

Meg: Remember that game we used to play, Eeek a Mouse!

Ellen: Yeah....

Shannon: This isn't awkward at all.

----

Meg: I talked to Brian.

Tony: You did. Let's go talk about it alone at the cliff. Where I can kill you without being seen.

Meg: What was that?

Tony: I mean, let me hold you until I smother you, or shoot you. Or...just forget it and come to the cliff with me.

Meg: Okey-Dokey!

----

Everyone: SURPRISE!!!!

Ellen: Oh dear God no.

Brian: I've become a fourth level wizard and with my newly acquired power I've brought Evan back from the dead.

Mike: Yo. I'm Evan.

Tony: You're not Evan! He's dead! I killed him.

DUN DUN DUN!!!!

Everyone: (STARES)

Tony: Oh shit.

(Everything goes dark. Tony gets shot. And Ellen and Meg are taken hostage by Dwayne)

Meg: Why did you take us hostage?

Dwayne: Because I killed Evan.

Meg: That makes zero sense whatsoever. What really happened that day?

Ellen: Tony and I were screwing around behind yours and Evan's backs. Sorry. Evan found out and went off into the woods with a hunting rifle. Me and Tony went after him. They fought for the gun. It went off. Evan died. Brian saw it happen too. Tony made us swear to never tell anyone.

Dwayne: Mwahahahahahah! Evan wasn't dead. He just hit his head. So I went and took the gun and shot him.

Ellen: You bastard!

Meg: But why?

Dwayne: Because I want to have sex with his hot leggy redheaded sister.

Meg: That's your motive? Seriously? You couldn't just rape her like all the other psychos out there like you.

Dwayne: There's no rape in Shadyside. Only murder.

Ellen: You suck as a villain.

Meg: Now we have to get out of this mess. Hey, Ellen, remember that game, Eek a Mouse.

Ellen: What does that have to do with our current hostage situation?

Meg: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dwayne: Stop it. You're scaring me.

Ellen: Oh, I get it. Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeek! Eeeeeek Eeeeek!!

Dwayne: Ahhhhhh! (Gets hit in head with frying pan. Cops come and take him away).

----

Tony: (Gets dragged off to mental instution) I killed my best friend.

Mike: Hey, you're pretty cute.

Meg: (Smiles as ex-boyfriend gets dragged away) So are you.

Shannon: My brother's still dead.

Fear Street Family Trees

Way back when I was in sixth grade, before the Fear Street Saga Collector's Edition came out, I was unsatisified with the 100-year-break in the tree. I wanted to see the family members that wen there. So I in my infinite wisdom decided to just make my own damn tree.

Notice ole Jonathan, son of Ezra, had three daughters named Fiona, Velvet, and Paige. Wonder where the idea for that story came from... Hmm....

But I wasn't done yet. I was also pissed that we never ever got to see the Goode Family Tree, when the Goode's are just as much a part of the Fear Street Legacy as the Fears.


Notice Stanly and Lucy Goode were born after their parents deaths. I call shenanigans!

Coming soon: My Fear Street fanfiction gone horribly horribly wrong, Any Way the Wind Blows.

Feaar Street: The New Girl, or, Dead Cats in Lockers ar A-OK and You Should Never Report them to the Authorities

Fear Street was such a huge staple of my childhood and reading through my crappy old novels has sparked the desire to reread one of my most beloved book series. And maybe fulfill my lifelong dream of creating a Fear Street Timeline. Woohoo!

I don't plan on recapping all of them, just a choice few and maybe throw in some Bratz Doll Theatre for the really good ones. But I did do a summery of The New Girl about a year and a half ago before I stumbled upon any Fear Street blogs so I'll start with that.

Ah, Fear Street. This brings back memories. Now these are the books that made me want to be a writer. I lived and breathed Fear Street for two years. These books were about ghost stories and murder, exactly what every ten year girl can’t get enough of, right? Well this one couldn’t at any rate. But more than that what really hooked me on these books was the story of the Fear family. How this evil followed them for over two hundred years, and went on to consume the street the Fears lived on, Fear Street, and anyone who dared to tread.

The first one I ever read was Cheerleaders: The Third Evil. That book not only got me hooked on the series, but on reading in general, and most of all, the important murder device of pushing people off of cliffs that appeared in nearly every one of my earliest stories. t would seem appropriate to start with that one as it remains my favorite to this day, but I will start instead with the very first Fear Street book ever published, The New Girl.


Notice how R.L. Stine’s name isn’t taking up half the cover. Second edition, baby.

I’ve never particularly liked this book but this has always been my favorite cover. The reason: because it’s the only one where you get a glimpse of what Fear Street actually looks like, filled with dilapidated old Victorian houses.

The book opens with a little passage about Fear Street.

Are you sure you want to turn down Fear Street?

The most horrifying things seem to happen to those who live on Fear Street.

The town of Shadyside is nice enough. And the students at Shadyside High seem to be an average group of kids.

So why does everyone tell such stories about Fear Street…?

About unspeakable terrors, troubled cries in the night, twisted nightmares…

About people who venture into the Fear Street woods and are never seen again…

About strange cries late at night from the old Simon Fear mansion--a house that’s been deserted for fifty years…

About lost teenagers, mysterious fires, brutal crimes, unsolved mysteries…

About normal people--people just like you--who turn down Fear Street…and are never quite normal again!

Go ahead. Take a walk down Fear Street. Those stories couldn’t be true. No way. There couldn’t be that much terror awaiting you in one narrow, old street--could there?

Our book opens with a someone thinking over how easy it was to kill her sister Anna. Sure, she expected to feel guilty, but she never expected it to be so easy. A real psychopath, this one. Anyway, the prologue ends with her screaming “Anna’s dead, Mom!” Oh noes!

Then our book really begins. With our main character, Cory Brooks. Cory’s a gymnast and he’s testing his skills in the cafeteria by standing on one hand and balancing his lunch tray in the other. Why didn’t people do this when I was in high school? He catches glimpse of this absolutely gorgeous girl on the other side of the caf and literally falls for her (corny but begged to be done), losing his balance and collapsing on the floor, causing the tray of spaghetti to come crashing down on his head. His friends who are also on the gymnastics team, Arnie and David, laugh and make fun of him. He leaves the lunchroom covered in spaghetti and runs into his old friend and token girl-next-door, Lisa Blume. They both live in North Hills, the ritzier side of town. Fear Street is for white trash, by the way. She makes fun of him and gives him one of her extra shirts to wear and he washes his hair in the water fountain. It becomes quite evident to the reader that Lisa wants more than friendship from him. While in the hall he sees his mystery babe again, but she disappears inside a classroom.

Cory looks for her for three days with no luck. And he sucks when he goes to gymnastics practice. He keeps having semi-erotic dreams about her. Okay, maybe semi-erotic is a but of a stretch. He and Lisa walk home together, his thoughts on the pretty blond, and Lisa leans against him trying to get the courage to ask him out. And at the same time she asks him what he’s doing that weekend and he asks her if she’s seen the pretty new girl. Lisa drops about a thousand hints that she likes him and he asks her again if she’s seen the pretty new girl. Lisa knows her as Anna Corwin, and she’s very annoyed that Cory seems to like her.

Cory’s all excited and about to piss himself because Anna’s a real person and not a figment of his warped imagination and pesters Lisa about her. Lisa knows nothing but that she transferred from Melrose and moved onto Fear Street. Cory thinks Fear Street is creepy and there are a bunch of little tales about why Cory would think such a thing. When they get to their houses Lisa tries once again to ask him out but he cuts her off and goes into his house dreaming about the audacious Anna.

Cory calls information and gets Anna’s phone number and address. He even talks to a real person! Even when I was ten information was completely automated! Cory debates whether or not he should call her for over a page and finally decides to do so. The person who answers tells him there’s no Anna there and hangs up.

The next day at school Cory finally runs into Anna herself and makes conversation with her. He tells her she’s new and that she lives on Fear Street and says he called her house but they said there’s no Anna there. Stalker! She quickly runs into the classroom. Even if she wasn’t a crazy psycho I think she’d do the same thing.

They have a gymnast meet against Mattawan. Anna comes to watch and Cory screws up royally. He spends Saturday night obsessing about Anna. He goes over to Lisa’s and wants to talk to her about Anna. Lisa calls him a creep and tells him to go home. Cory calls Anna’s house again and gets a woman. He asks for Anna and she gets terse. In the background he hears a girl screaming “It’s for me!” and the woman tells him to just leave them alone. How he torments this poor family.

Cory’s creeped out, finding it all too mysterious, and decides to pay Anna a little visit at her house on Fear Street. While he’s driving over there he listens to the radio, where they’re playing a 24-hour marathon of Beatles music in alphabetical order. WTF?

He pulls up to foggy Fear Street thinking about a childhood trauma in the Fear Street woods and make himself go up to Anna’s house. A man comes up behind him, making him piss his pants (not literally) and asks if he needs any help. Cory says he was looking for the Corwins and the weirdo tells him they’re strange people. I think he’s a peeping tom. They’ve only been living there for a couple weeks.

He gets away from the creepy old man and knocks on the door. A young man answers, and when he asks for Anna the man tells him angrily that Anna’s dead.

Cory’s a little uneased by the whole thing (understandable) and spends Monday looking for Anna. He asks Lisa if she’s seen her and Lisa tells her she’s absent today and asks what his problem is. He pulls her aside and tells her the strange tale of going to her house. The have an almost-argument and he gets the idea of pulling her file in the office where he works after school on Mondays. His job is to use the ditto machine. What the hell is a ditto machine??? Is it a copier? Is that what they called them back in 1989? He got the brilliant idea of looking through the student records for Anna’s. While digging through them he nearly gets caught and dives under the desk just in time. He goes back to the files, and find there are no Corwins.

Cory goes to the school basketball game with his friends and spends the whole evening thinking about creepy ghosty Anna. He winds up telling them about Anna not having a file. His friend David brilliantly suggests that her file might not have been sent from her old school yet. He goes home and is awakened in the middle of the night by a mysterious phone call telling him to stay away from Anna. She’s dead and he’ll be dead next. Oh noes!

Cory tries to go back to sleep but is interrupted by yet another phone call. It’s Anna! Goody for Cory. She says she needs him to help her and asks him to come. She’ll meet him just past her house. He steals his dad’s car and goes, thinking about more chilling tales of Fear Street lore, and parks on the street. Anna climbs into his car, making his shit his pants (well, maybe). He asks what’s wrong? Can he help her? He can’t stop thinking about her. She says she’s been thinking about him, too. He finally comes down to it and tells her he needs to know if she’s even real. She says she’s real, and kisses him to prove it. She kisses him really hard and needy like. Eventually she goes to leave. He asks her why she called him and she tells him it was to see if he would come.

Cory continues to question her about the guy that keeps saying she’s dead. She tells him it’s her brother Brad. He’s not only crazy, he’s dangerous! Oooooh! She runs out of the car before Cory can force anything else out of her.

He wakes up late the next morning, which is the day he has a gymnastics meet. He thinks about what happened last night after Anna left. He’d run after her and the creepy old man’s dog attacked him. His name is Voltaire, by the way. The dog. Awesome name. He does horribly at the meet. Lisa goes to comfort him and tells him all about the previous night when she went over her cousin’s. Her cousin had a friend over who was from Melrose (coincidently where Anna’s from! Oh me oh my where is this going!). She tells him Anna had been in this girls class, but that she had died. There were all kinds of rumors. She’d fallen down the basement steps and died instantly. Cory won’t believe it so Lisa tells him to ditch the rest of the meet and go with her to the library and they’d investigate it. They find it on microfilm. A blurry picture of Anna with the caption , Melrose Sophomore dies in accident.

That night Cory has disturbing nightmares about Anna. The phone rings waking him up. It’s Anna, she wants him to meet her in front of the burnt out old shell of Simon Fear’s mansion.

He follows her call and waits in his car in front of the mansion, thinking all kinds of creepy paranoid things. Cory finally goes to the house where he encounters the evil Brad. Brad grabs him by the coat screaming that Anna is dead and to leave him alone. He lets Cory go after scaring the crap out of him.

He acts like a zombie in school and Lisa tries to cheer him up. She reminds him about the dance on Saturday and asks if he would want to go with her. Lisa’s not too bright. She knows he’s completely hung up on Anna and still wants to date him. He tells her he’ll go and then Anna comes up to them and Lisa introduces herself. They talk for a minute and Lisa bounces off to class. Anna reminds Cory about Friday in the Car and tells him he’s hers. She runs off.

That afternoon Cory goes with Lisa to her locker, but there’s blood everywhere! Somebody had killed a cat, slitting open it’s stomach in her locker. Ew. Oh, and attached to the cat is an endearing note claiming she’s dead, too. And instead of, you know, REPORTING this to anyone, they clean it out themselves, Lisa suggesting Anna did it because she’s jealous about the dance. You know, if anyone had found a dead cat in their locker at my high school, there probably would’ve been a lockdown and some serious questioning. I know this was published back in 1989, but STILL!!!

Cory catches up with Anna afterwards and tells her what happened. Judging from her reaction he’s sure she didn’t do it. He then confronts her about her creepy brother Brad. She gets all hysterical and he tries to calm her down by kissing her. She shoves him away and tells her to stay away, her brother’s there.

After school his parents make a big to-do about Cory’s date with Lisa and he feels weird. His parents leave to go to Lisa’s to play her parents. He’s trying to do homework when his friend David calls him and tries to get him to talk about him and Anna. Cory gets mad and they hang up on each other. Cory goes over to the Blume’s to see how Lisa’s doing (I’m guessing she didn’t tell her parents about the cat). He notices her laugh is sexy and then tells her about Anna and reads the paper (why does she like him again?). She then gets a threatening call telling her she’s dead, too.

They go to the dance together and Lisa keeps insisting that it was Anna that made the call and put the cat in the locker. Lisa tells him Anna’s a good actress and has him fooled. Give the girl a prize! They get in an argument about it and Lisa storms off. Minutes later Cory hears her scream. Cory finds her at the bottom of a flight of stairs. She was pushed! Oh noes! From her description of her assailant Cory figures out it was Brad. They search the building and get locked in a classroom. Cory uses his super spiderman skills to climb out the window onto the roof and shimmy down a tree then goes back to unlock the door for Lisa.

Cory goes to Anna’s to confront Brad. No one’s there but the creepy neighbor.

Cory waits for Anna by her locker at school. He makes her go get pizza with him and tell him EVERYTHING! Oooh! Anna’s father ditched them, her mother’s not well. Brad had a girlfriend, Emily, who died in a plane crash, and he never got over her death. The drama! She tells him about her older sister Willa who was the true beauty of the family. Brad started confusing Willa for Emily and saying she was dead. Then Willa died. She fell down the basement stairs. They moved, hoping to snap Brad out of his stupor but it didn’t help. Now he’s getting overly protective of Anna and saying she’s dead.

Brad appears at the pizza place and Anna takes off, terrified.

Later Cory calls Anna and Brad picks up telling him again that Anna’s dead. Cory goes to Anna’s. He goes into the house. Anna’s screaming that Cory’s come to see her. Brad tells him to get out of there. Cory and Brad get into a fight and Cory finally renders Brad unconscious. Cory wants to call the police (Cory’s thinking! Go Cory!) but Anna just wants to celebrate. She gets a dagger and says it’ll take care of Brad. He tries to stop her but she won’t let him. He holds her back. Brad comes to and Cory warns him to stay away. Brad tells him he tried to warn him, that he wanted to keep Cory safe from her.

Brad tells him the Whole Story. She’s really Willa and Anna was her older sister. She pushed Anna down the stairs. Because their mother is ill and couldn’t handle losing both her daughters Brad didn’t pursue it, he thought she would get better once they moved. But found out she was dressing like Anna and calling herself Anna at school once Cory came around. And she’s been making all the threats to his friend. That he did push Lisa at the school but it was a mistake, he thought she was Anna. He tells Cory to call the police.

Cory tells Lisa the whole story and tells her she should pick his girlfriends for him. She says maybe she should and kisses him. The End. I wonder what happened to Willa.

Top 15 Fear Street Books

For a few years as a preteen I lived and breathed Fear Street. Not only did I spend every waking moment reading these books, but I dreamed about them. I would walk two miles to the bookstore every month to buy them as they came out. And I even created a fanfiction series called Any Way the Wind Blows based on Fear Street.

So what better way to celebrate my love of these books then to make a top ten list! Only I haven't read most of these in 10+ years so I'm working off vague recollections at best. And I couldn't narrow it down to just ten, either.

#15 The Best Friend
Because Honey got away with murder. (Until you read the crappy needless sequel to discover Bill didn't really die). And not only did she get away with it, she made Becca (Why do I keep trying to type Bella?) think she'd done it. Nobody in Fear Street gets away with murder except the Fears. And their descendants always pay for it in the end. Yay for Honey!

#14 Fear Park #1: The First Scream

Fear Park was probably the most gory, violent Fear Street epic ever. (And Robin was hot.) Who doesn't love the scene of a bunch of teenagers hacking each other to pieces with axes? Or was it hatchets?

#13 Lights Out
All I remember of this one is the scene of somebody dying in an art cabin somehow on a pottery wheel? I just remember the pottery wheel was on and it was spurting something on the protagonist and when she turned the light on she saw it was blood. Awesome.

#12 The Fear Street Saga #3: The Burning
Yeah, the whole trilogy's on here. Family secrets, a feud, betrayal, murder, evil legacies, this trilogy was jam-packed with everything I love about fiction. The only thing missing was poison. Was there poison? The Burning was great because Simon goes from being the good guy at the end of the previous novel to embracing his inheritance of evil and trying to kill people to be with Angelica, a girl he fell in love with at first sight. But she was even more evil and together their evilness brought down their family. Julia being buried alive while Simon searched for her, hearing her cries through the ground, only finding her when it was too late and murdering his other daughter in a blind rage (literally) was truly haunting. God I love the Fears.

#11 Broken Hearts
More than anything what bothered me about this book was Rachel. She was brain damaged in. a horse riding accident. It's one thing for someone to be mentally handicapped from birth, but for someone who was "normal?" To know that every time you looked at this person you would remember the person she used to be. That terrified me that that could happen. I felt absolutely horrible for the mother of these girls.

#10 The Mind Reader
Ellie has visions of her best friend's sister being killed and it turns out it was their dad who did it. The whole time Ellie's describing what she's seeing her friend knows what she means and she doesn't want to admit she understands what really happened. It was pretty creepy.

#9 The Halloween Party
I don’t know if this one was particularly good but it was one I reread A LOT. I loved Justine whole plot of pretending to be a high school student in order to get revenge on the children of the people who accidentally killed her parents and how she set up the party.

#8 The Dead Lifeguard
If for no other reason I was completely positive that Mouse and Terry were in love with each other. And it made me wary of lifeguards.

#7 The Fear Street Saga #2: The Betrayal
The book that started the whole evil feud. I always wondered what Edward thought once he found out Susannah had been innocent and his father had sentenced her to die because Edward was in love with a poor girl. I always thought Mary was a complete moron. Jeremy essentially told her his mother died before he was born. Who doesn’t question that? I need to act this book out with Bratz dolls.

#6 Switched
When I was eleven I thought this was the best Fear Street book ever written. The ending truly took me by surprise in a way few Fear Street books did. And this was the inspiration for Jimmy Dearest. I think I copied some lines out of it word for word actually.

#5 Sunburn
There’s a summer camp involved, a girl almost gets eaten by a shark, their hostess turns up having been dead a week when they just saw her earlier in the day, and a girl who fakes her death by falling off a tree into a gorge (It‘s not a cliff, but close enough), this book is full of awesome! It was also where Andy Drexil from Dear Sister got her last name (though spelled differently), and where the character of Alison came from.

#4 Fear Street Sagas #3: Forbidden Secrets
Creepiest Fear Street book ever. Hands down. It’s about two sisters both in love with the same Fear (a male one). It’s told from an old lady’s point of view as she’s sitting at her sister’s grave, but you don’t know which girl she is until much later in the book. One of my absolute favorites. Tyler was a scary guy.

#3 The Fear Street Saga #2: The Secret
The image of Jonathan and Abigail playing in an abandoned village filled with nothing but rotting corpses stayed with me for a very long time. I think this is the creepiest of the three. For a few years I wanted a black cat I could name Simon Fear. Actually, I still want a cat to name Simon Fear.

#2 The Face
This one really was kind of scary. The whole being decapitated from a wire while skiing kind of haunted me. I still never want to go skiing. Martha drawing the face of a dead boy over and over again without being able to stop herself. All of her friends plotting against her. I did not want to be Martha in this one. I think this was the best written one.

#1 The Fear Street Cheerleaders: The Third Evil
What else? The very first Fear Street book I ever read that inspired an obsession in me only rivaled by Gundam Wing. I dreamed about this book, I acted it out with my friends. I memorized all the cheers and performed them. I told my teacher my name was Corky when I was in seventh grade. And it sparked my fixation on people falling off of cliff’s, which appeared in nearly all of my early stories at some point. I read and reread the Cheerleaders series till my original books fell apart. Corky still remains one of my favorite fictional characters of all time.