Friday, May 29, 2009

Still alive, or The Enemy Within, Part 8

Last Time: After Debbie's funeral Dawn confessed everything as she knows it to her brother Dean. He is looking into finding her a good psychologist.

Part 4: Regret and Remorse 1996

Chapter 25: A beheading

[Ooh, doesn’t that sound promising?]

The next morning Sela arrived. Just what I need, Dawn thought. That stuck up snobby little bitch.

“Dawn!” Her mother called. “Sela’s here!”

Great, dawn thought sarcastically. This is exactly what I need. Sela.

“Dawn!!!” her mother called again.


The day went by rather slowely. School had been canceled for the rest of the week. [In honor of all the deaths, I suppose. That’s four in less than a week.] Sela was staying in the extra bedroom. The bedroom that had once belonged to a young girl. [Chloe? If so that’s kind of creepy.]

Before the Sullivans bought the house, it belonged to a family. They’re name was Phillips.

They were a strange and odd family. They acted rather odd when Dawn had met them seven years before, when they had moved to Creston, California. [They’re in Delaware. And in chapter thirteen Creston was crossed out and replaced with Harrington, so who knows where the hell they are.]

Dawn remembered an old tale about the house. When she had first moved here, the kids at school told her them. But they were just filled with gossip. Jenni had told her the real story. Before Dawn had moved there, their had been two girls. They were step-sisters. And also best friends. They’re names were Thalia and Phoebe Phillips. [I'm pretty sure this was at least partially inspired by Christopher Pike's The Immortal.]

Thalia and Phoebe were best friends until Thalia’s mother married Phoebe’s father. From the wedding on all they did was fight. One day, when they were in school Phoebe smashed Thalia’s head into a locker and busted it open. [Phoebe had to be hella strong.] Luckily Thalia survived. But she was different. And so was Phoebe. They were both extremely violent and inattentive in class. Things had gotten out of hand. [And what does this have to do with our actual story? And why would Jenni have been the expert on this. She’d only been there a year before Dawn.]

Then one night the rest of the family went out and left Thalia and Phoebe alone. Big mistake there. Jenni had once told Dawn that her and Phoebe were cousins. [Okay. That might be why.] Well Jenni was sent to the house to check on the girls. [Yes, send a seven-year-old possible murderess to check on two crazy teenagers.] And when she got there, she saw the most gruesome thing that she would ever seen.

You see, Phoebe had had Dawn’s room, and when Jenni came up, what she saw was unbelievable.

At the top of the stairs was Thalia’s body. Beheaded. The bones were stickin gout of her neck mangled and broken. The puss and the guts were all over the place. And the blood was running down the stairs like a small river. Jenni had told Dawn that, and that there used to be a small path in the back of the house that lead all the way from Jenni’s.

Well anyways, Jenni ran back there [through the river of blood and past the decapitated body.] and saw Phoebe, with Thalia’s missing head. Thalia’s eyes were wide, like she had died in shock.

And Phoebe was laughing. Phoebe said something. Something Jenni had told Dawn that she would never forget. Dawn would never forget either.

“You died in my room Thalia,” she had said to the head. “And do you want to know why you died in my room, Thalia,” she had been pulling Thalia’s Blonde hair out by the roots as she was doing this. “No? Well I’ll tell you why, Thalia. I hate you. And your whore for a mother. You know one time I went in my room, and they were having sex. [That is pretty crass…] Can you believe that? In my room. And do you want to know another thing? I’m a witch. Yes, I practice the dark arts. And I’m damn proud of it.”

By this time Thalia was nearly bald so Phoebe just threw her whole head into the fire. [What fire?]

“Now I’m going to cast a spell. I’m sure we’ll move after the untimely death of your mother. Seven years from tonight the mother of all hells with come to the person who stays in my room. Three to four months before the seven years is up the process of this hell will come to hell.” [WTF? Seriously, where did this come from? And you know, as I‘m sitting here typing this up, I’m thinking, my mother read this thing. When I was twelve I made her. And even more, I TURNED THIS IN AS AN EXTRA CREDIT ASSIGNMENT IN HISTORY. Why was I not put into therapy?]

And that was that. Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.

Dawn had never believed that it was true. At least, she never had before. . . . . .

Chapter 26: A killing

[I wonder what’s going to happen in this chapter!]

The weekend was hell. Sela was such a bitch. She was always telling Dawn what to do. She was so snobby and bitchy all the time. Why the hell was she here again? To help out. I don’t think so. If anything, all she was doing was making life hell.

And not just for Dawn. For Dean too.

Mabey Sela was what made her dream on Saturday night. . . . [Here comes another acid trip. Oh, who am I kidding? This whole book is an acid trip.]

* * * * *

There stood the strange place where all her dreams began lately. And there stood little Dawn Sullivan. All alone.

Then she saw colors. Dark colors. Black, blue, and red. And all of them were as dark as hell. All the colors seemed to be some sort of a fog. And then there was a box.

Dawn suddenly was in the box. [I had a thing with people being trapped in boxes. And that so came from Chain Letter 2.] A box that was a grayish whit. The black, blue, and red sky was above it. But there was glass.

Glass over the box that prevented you from getting out of your eternal damnation. That was at least a simple way of putting it.

Dawn just stood there looking up at the sky for what seemed forever. A movement that she caught out of the corner of her eye got her attention. There was a small little red thing there and it was climbing on a stool.

This dream was not like the others. For it was far more weirder than the others.

[This thing is so hard to read. Curse me for writing in pencil!!!!]

Then everything disappeared. Everything except the little red thing. And she stood. Then it got light again. The little red thing was standing over a bed. And not just any bed. A girls bed. Why does that bed look familiar? Dawn thought. She knew the girl who was lying in the bed. But why was it that she couldn’t remember right now? She didn’t know. She didn’t think that she ever would know. But that little blue thing [I thought it was red.] was pouring something on the girl. Something that smelled bad. Then all of a sudden it hit her. It was showing her who was the next to die. This was all a death row. The people who die are people who were close to Dawn. The red thing was in disguise. It was either Gracie of Lauren. Dawn couldn’t tell. Not yet anyways. And then ther was the girl. The next person on death’s row. And as the little red thing set the girl on fire, it came to her. [Does someone get burned alive? Seriously?]

Chapter 27: Surprise in the locker room

That morning someone else died.
It was Clea. [Ooops. She’s already dead. My mistake.] Shari

Poor Clea Shari.

While she was asleep in her bed, apparently someone had come in, poured gasoline on her, and set her on fire. What a horrible way to go. [Did the rest of her family escape the fire?]

The funeral was to be held in three days.

The Police were starting to get frantic with worry. [Five teenage girls have been brutally murdered and they’re just now getting frantic? Did they transfer in from Oregon or something?] There was definitely a murderer on the loose, but no one--at all--had any clues of who the hell was behind them. [Except Dawn.] Dawn was no longer a suspect in this whole mess either.

School wasn’t closed today, so everyone had to go. [So they’ll close school for Chloe and Clea, but not Shari? It‘s because she‘s Jewish, isn‘t it?] It was a Tuesday. A health day. Before everyone got out of school because of the murders, Dawn had left some things in her gym locker. She knew everyone would be in health so she could sneak in and get her things. [While skipping class?] She had taken the keys from her teacher--Miss Carlotto--while she wasn’t looking.

As Dawn came in she heard a squeaking sound. It sounded like a rope. What the hell is a rope doing in the locker room? Dawn asked herself. [How the hell would a rope squeak? I ask to Dawn.]

Then, as she turned the corner, Dawn saw what was making all that noise.

It was Paula Goodrich.

Paula was hanging by her neck. Just simply going back and forth and back and forth. Her big eyes were opend wide with surprise.

“Oh, god,” Dawn whispered. Then, she ran. She just felt that she had to get out of there. [Understandable.] She ran to the showers.

But for some reason, they were all on. [And she couldn’t hear the water running over that squeaky rope.] Then she looked down at the drain in the middle of the floor. Blood was gushing into it.

Thick blood.

Fresh blood.

Then she looked right down at her feet.

Hallie’s blood!

It was Paula and Hallie Goodrich. The were sisters who lived together, so they would be sisters that died together.

Dawn ran out of there scream and yelling; “Help! Help! Two dead bodies are in the girls locker room!”

That sure got people’s attention.