Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Day of Rebecca

The Day of Rebecca, or Dear Sister Without the Sister, is a play I wrote for myself and the other kids in the neighborhood to act out. I let each of them choose their own names and distinguishing characteristics about themselves. I was Rebecca, Brian was Jack, Rachel was Jessica, but I can’t remember who the other two were. Probably Paige and Aimee. I imagine this takes place in the same fictional Oregon town as Dear Sister and Jimmy Dearest. They have the same police force at any rate.

The Day of Rebecca
Written summer 1996
Age 12

Characters: Jack, Rachel, Rebecca, Elizabeth, Jessica. [Yes, I snickered to myself that two of the girls who had never read Sweet Valley chose the names Elizabeth and Jessica.]

Act 1, Scene 1

(Before school)

Rebecca: Where have you been, Jessica? I’ve been waiting here forever.
Jessica: I’ve been out on a date with Aaron.
Rebecca: All night? I think I’m going to be hearing about this for a long time.
Jessica: Your thoughts are correct. [This is a little risqué for girls 12 and 11 years old.]
Jack: (walking up) Hi guys.
Jessica & Rebecca: Hi Jacki.
Jack: Don’t call me Jacki! I’m better than everyone. My smile brightens everybody’s day wherever I go. [Haven’t we heard this before?]
Rebecca: Not mine.
Jack: I’ll choose to do you a faver, Rebecca, and forget that you ever said that to me.
Rebecca: Oh give me a break. (Jessica starts giggling and Elizabeth walks up)
Elizabeth: (with a big smile on her face) Hello, everybody, guess where I just came from?
Jessica & Jack: Where?
Elizabeth: I just got done helping at the homeless shelter.
Rebecca: At eight in the morning? (Jessica giggles)
Elizabeth: It was the breakfast rush.
Jessica: (Still giggling, Jack cracks a smile on his face but Rebecca still remains solemn.) Can you not just turn the perk down an itty bitty bit?
Elizabeth: What’s a perk. (Jack and Jessica giggle)
Jack: You, Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: I’m a perk? [Single most memorable moment of this literary work. I actually still quote this sometimes.]
Jessica: Yeah, you’re a perk.
Elizabeth: But what’s a perk?
Rebecca: A perk isn’t a what, it’s a thing. And that thing just happens to be your personality problems.
Elizabeth: I have personality problems. (Jack and Jessica start laughing) What’s so funny?
Jack: You, Elizabeth. You’re funny. Do I have to spell it out for you?
Elizabeth: I’m gonna tell my mommy what you said.
Jack: You are 14 year old. Do you really have to act like such a baby?
Elizabeth: I’m not a baby. I’m a big girl.
Jessica: You are not!
Elizabeth: I am too!
Jessica: Are not!
Elizabeth: Am too!
Jessica: Not!
Elizabeth: Too!
Rachel: (walks up and steps between them) Will you two stop arguing like little babies?
Jessica: What are you doing here, Rachel?
Rachel: I have every right to be here!
Rebecca: (still frowning) You do not.
Rachel: I do too!
Rebecca: No, you don’t. It’s not your property. It’s Jessica’s, Rachel. [Probably Jessica’s parents.]
Rachel: Well, if you don’t stop criticizing me, I’ll tell my mom.
Rebecca: No, I’m not. If I were criticizing you I would have insulted you. And informing you of state law does not qualify for criticizing you, so stop wrongly accusing me, okay.
Jack: Hah, that’s what you get for poking your big nose into other peoples business. And now I’d like to know if we could all peacefully attend school together?
Elizabeth: My thoughts exactly.
Jessica: We’re off to go to school, with horrible, terrible Rachel. [I’m thinking Paige was Rachel. We were kind of mean to Paige. Which leaves Aimee as Elizabeth.]

Act 2, Scene 1

(After school)

Rebecca: (looking at the sky) Do you want to go to the mall, Jess?
Jessica: Okay. Why not?
Rebecca: Why not, indeed. (They take a taxi over, and it waits)

Act 2, Scene 2
(At the mall)

Rebecca: (Looking at a pair of trendy kind of boots with a wry smile on her face) Don’t you just love those boots, Jessica?

[Which back in 1996, might've looked something like these...]

Jessica: (looking mad) I saw them first, so stop drooling over them, and look at something you can afford. [Nice one.]
Rebecca: (sarcastically) But with them, I’ll be as popular as you.
Jessica: (Angrily) No you will not. No one--and I reapeat--no one will ever be as popular as me.
Rebecca: Oh, really? And how’s that?
Jessica: Because I’m too perfect for words, while ther not? [A little conceited, aren’t we, Jess? I wonder who I modeled you after…]
Rebecca: Haven’t you ever heard of sarcasm? (Jessica looks at her strangely) And besides, how can you be so sure that you’re so wonderful and perfect that no one will ever be better?
Jessica: What do you mean?
Rebecca: I’m just saying that you can’t garantee that you’ll be perfect and popular forever. On day you’ll grow old and ugly, Jessica. Maybe. [Yay! I finally spelled maybe right!]
Jessica: Just what are you getting at?
Rebecca: Absolutely nothing.
Jessica: Why don’t I believe you?
Rebecca: Just what are you getting at, Jessica?
Jessica: Absolutely nothing.
Rebecca: Then why don’t I believe you?
Jessica: Let’s just stop arguing like babies. This is really getting rediculous, Rebecca. We should really act our 14 years of age.
Rebecca: You say really too much. And besides, what’s getting rediculous?
Jessica: Will you stop acting like an airhead?
Rebecca: Depends.
Jessica: On what?
Rebecca: (smiles) Do you mind telling me what an airhead is?
Jessica: Stop it, Rebecca. You’re getting on my nerves.
Rebecca: Why?
Jessica: Forget it then! (she walks off stage)
Rebecca: Jessica, get back here!
Jessica: No!
Rebecca: How am I gonna get to the soccer game?
Jessica: Walk!
Rebecca: Fine. I’ll walk.

Act 3, Scene 1

(on the bleachers at the soccer game)

Rachel: Jack! Jack! He’s our man, if he can’t do it, no one can!
Elizabeth: You can do it Jessica! [I guess they’re on a co-ed soccer team?]
Rebecca: Jack! Jack! She’s our girl, if she can do it, I will barf. [You know, hurl would’ve worked so much better there.]
Jack: [In the middle of the game] (sarcastically) Thanks for your support, Becky!
Rebecca: (standing up) No one calls me Becky and gets away with it!
Jack: (Smiling) I’ll call you whatever I want, Rebecca! I’m better than everyone. Especially little schoolgirls like you!
Rebecca: That’s it. (She goes over and punches him in the stomack. He doubles over and falls to the ground) [It was originally balls but I think I changed it because we were acting this out and I didn’t actually want to hurt Brian.] I am no little schoolgirl.

Act 4, Scene 1

(In Rebecca’s kitchen)

Jessica: I can’t believe you did that to poor Jack.
Rebecca: Why not? Wouldn’t you have done the same thing?
Jessica: No.
Rebecca: Why not?
Jessica: Because it’s a mean thing to do, Rebecca. Real mean.
Rebecca: This is Jack we’re talking about. No Mother Teresa. In other words, we don’t--and I repeat--don’t have to be nice to him. [WHY do these people hang out together? They‘re clearly NOT friends.]
Jessica: I’m getting tired of this, Rebecca.
Rebecca: They why don’t we go for a walk. [Oh noes! We know what happens when girls go for walks in my stories.]
Jessica: Sure. It’s better than arguing with you.
Rebecca; (getting up) I’m gonna tell my parents I’m in my room. [Yes, tell her about your alibi.]
Jessica: Why?
Rebecca: I’m grounded for the Jack thing, They don’t even know that you’re here, Jessica. [They must be deaf if they didn’t hear that argument.] (She leaves for a moment, then comes back.)
Jessica: So we’re we going?
Rebecca: How about the ridge? [I smell murder. And a reused plot device.]
Jessica: That sounds simply divine.

Act 5

(At the ridge)

Jessica: It’s nice up here, isn’t it?
Rebecca: No. It’s deadly.
Jessica: Rebecca, what do you mean?
Rebecca: Look at you. You’ve always been popular at school. I’m sick of it. Everyone’s always adored you more than anything. It’s always made me sick that you’re always happy. But with you dead, you won’t be happy. And niether will anybody else. Anybody but me that is. I’ll be happy. [At least it’s a slightly less generic motive than Andy and Izzy’s in Dear Sister]
Jessica: I don’t get it.
Rebecca: I’m gonna kill you, Jessica. Today is the day of Rebecca. [Title!] Say goodbye to the cruel world. [I was fond of this phrase, wasn’t I?]
Jessica: I thought we were friends.
Rebecca: Well you thought wrong. Because we’re not, and we never were. Goodbye, Jessica. (She pushes her.)
Jessica: Nooooo. . . . . .

Act 6, Scene 1

(At Jessica’s funeral)

Elizabeth: I can’t believe she’s gone.
Rachel: I know. To think just 3 days ago, she was here.
Jack: It’s [letters blotted out with drop of liquid and I can‘t figure out what it was supposed to be]age, isn’t it. It looks like Rebecca’s taking it the hardest. Look at her over there all by herself.
Rachel: Yeah.
Elizabeth: You know what, you two.
Jack & Rachel: What?
Elizabeth: When I save the whales, I’m gonna dedicate it to Jessica, The greates person I’ve ever known. [Gag]

* * * * *

It was fun when we acted it out. I think a lot of those kids parents thought I was seriously disturbed. I know there were a few periods of time when Paige and Aimee at least weren’t allowed to play with me. Anyway, next time: My incredibly long epic, The Enemy Within, in which I kill the same character twice!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Jimmy Dearest, Part Two

Last time: Sarah Devens stumbled upon the body of her dead teacher, literally. She slipped in his gory blood and landed herself in the hospital.

Chapter 4

I awoke feeling different. As if a part of me were gone. That part of me that felt like it was missing was my left arm. Then I looked over at it.

I had been stabbed! [Where are the nurses?!]

As soon as I saw that, I started screaming bloody murder.

Then the doctors came in. Apariently I couldn’t have been stabbed that long before, because I had been stabbed in an artery. Then things got dim--like the previous day at school when I just happened to find Mr. Wain--and dimmer and dimmer.

Yet dimmer.



* * * * *

I awoke again. But this time I was in my bedroom at home. Then I saw my mother. She was sitting at my desk.

“Mom,” I said.

“Honey,” she said in her annoying perky way. [If you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t like perky people.] “Your up. How do you feel?”


“That’s good, I was worried sick. [Yeah, not showing up at the hospital in your daughter's time of need is exactly what shows how much you care.] Thank goodness your all right.”

“I’m fine. Where’s Jimmy?”

“He went to school today.”

“Great,” I said sarcastically. “what time is it?”

“It’s two “o” clock.”

“One more hour.”


“Yeah mom.”

“How are you?”

“Didn’t you already ask that question.”

“Yes, but--”

“No buts about it. I’m tired. Leave!” I could tell my mother was definitatly hurt. But I didn’t care. Oh, no, I’m no going to become a softy. I’m sixteen. I can take care of myself.

* * * * *

Yes, it’s me again. I know your surprised. But it really is true. Sarah is sixteen. She kind of acts like a baby, but that‘s how it is. [At least I realized this as I wrote it.] I’m almost ashamed to have her as--sorry I keep rambling on on like that. It happens, sometimes, you know.

You might be wondering what I was about to say, but you’ll find out soon enough. All comes in due time. And again, I tell you, that I am not Sarah. I am simply telling you this through Sarah’s point of view. She is the story. Yet I am--I‘ll tell you later.

Sarah slept the rest of that day and half of the next. I will tell it to you now. . . . .

Chapter 5


I hate mourning--I prefer night.

If I awoke to peaceful sunlight streaming threw the window, birds singing peaceful beuatiful songs--I might like mourning better. I might have woken up in a good mood. But I didn’t.

Instead I wake up to hammering and chain saw churning, and all the normal sounds coming from the constructin site next door.

I hate Oregon, I thought. [It seems I had a bone to pick with Oregon. The gals from Dear Sister lived--and hated it--there, too. The closest I‘ve ever come to Oregon is Southern California when I was four.]

I hate the noise. I hate the polution. I hate the traffic. I hate everything.

I looked at my alarm clock to see what time it was.


Jimmy was home, I thought.

I grabed my phone off the reciever and dialed Jimmy’s number.

It rang three times before anyone picked it up.

“Hello,” said a deep male voice.

It was Jimmy.

“Hey Jimmo,” I said.

“Sarah, how ya doin?

“Fine. How are you?”

“Okay. How ya feelin?” [I don’t think he was supposed to be southern]

“Fine. I already said that.”

“I know that.”

“Really Jimmy, how do you hide all of your stupidity, and apear to be so smart?”

“What can I say, but the intelligence impaired know all.” [WTF?]

“You are so stupid.”


“Duh yourself, you big wienie.”

“Oooo. I’m shakin’ in my cootie.”

“What?” [My sentiments exactly.]

“Listen Sarah, I gotta go.”


He hung up before I could say anything. I hate him so much sometimes.

* * * * *

I went back to school three days later. Everyone asked me about the gory details of Mr. Wain’s body. I just told them where to shove it and walked off.

I found Jimmy waiting for me by my locker.

“What the hell do you want, Jimmy?”

“I just want to know how your doing. That’s all.”

“Nice. If you’ll excuse your unwanted presence, I’d like to get into my locker and go to class like a

[I’m pretty sure that’s where I ended it, because the rest of this page is so not my handwriting. I‘m guessing somebody continued on my story when they were passing around my notebook when they stole it from me, which could explain why I stopped working on it.]

normal kid, but apparently you don’t understand that.” I stormed off without going to my locker. “Jimmy is being such an asshole.” “And yet he is so handsome.” [I don’t remember calling Jimmy handsome. He was an “outcast,” which meant he probably wasn’t that great looking.]

“Sarah! Sarah!” My stubstate was calling my name. Some kids started snickering. That made me so angry that I was ready to smack each and every one of them.

Soon after school I saw the most popular girl in school. In class I noticed she was the one who snickered the most. So what I did was hide behind a bush jump out scare her and beat her up. It was so funny to see Miss Perfect with a black eye.” Sarah Johnson Devins

* * * * *

Yeah. That kind of killed the story for me. If you are indeed curious about this, the person doing the murders and hurting Sarah was Sarah’s twin sister Julie, but as we later find out Julie never existed. Sarah’s mom was originally expecting twins and she would’ve named the twin Julie. [So borrowed from The Perfume] So Sarah made up the personality of Julie, and it was her thinking she was Julie that was going around stabbing people. Ah, the clever plot twist. Anyways, it was Jimmy who found out her secret and finally got her help. But his “betrayal” is what sent Sarah truly over the deep end and made her believe she’d always been Julie, thus Julie is the other person telling the story. Yes, it’s convoluted. And this is only the beginning.

Next time: The Day of Rebecca, a play about a girl named Rebecca who kills somebody. Are we sensing a pattern here? Oh, and this one’s ACTUALLY FINISHED! I know you’re excited.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Jimmy Dearest, Part One

I found this little one sheet play tucked away inside my writing files, that was based on the people in my sixth grade elective art class, and chalk filled with inside jokes I absolutely don’t get now. I think I wrote it for their amusement, and I remember them being amused.

Scene 1

Corky: Well, we’re finally here. [I was Corky. I told my art teacher my name was Corky--Think R.L. Stine’s Fear Street Cheerleaders--and went by it for that 9 weeks period--My real name‘s Michelle. And Amanda told her teacher she was Kimmy. It was kind of awesome.]
Marina: Yippy yippy.
Corey: Great! These speedo’s are killing me.
Daniel: Well, why are you wearing them?
Corey: Well, why are you wearing a tootoo. [Yes, even as a former wannabe Princess Ballerina who explored the forests of Egypt, I didn’t know how to spell tutu.]
Daniel: Because I’m better than everybody else. I make the world a better place wherever I go.
Lindsey: Look what I brought.
Corky: An ax! I brought one too. See!
Marina: Wonderful! I brought one too.
Lindsey: Nice dress.
Marina: Thank you. I designed it myself.
Daniel: And I think I know where you got your design.
Marina: Funny!
(She punches him)
Corey: I think Marina’s in love--
(Then she punches him)
Lindsey: Well, let’s go find a place to set up camp.
Corky: Yeah let’s go.

Scene 2 (everybodies sitting around the kamp fire)

Corky: I brought something for everybody.
Lindsey: What did you bring?
Corky: Ketchup [There’s a story here.]
Daniel: Of course.
Corky: There for all of you, for good luck. Now let’s tell ghost stories. I’ll go first. Well a long time ago.

* * * * *

The end. Yeah, I don’t get it, either. If anybody wants to hear the embarrassing anecdote about the ketchup I’ll tell it. But anyways, onto bigger and better things.

My first horror story. Jimmy Dearest. This was “inspired” by Fear Street books such as Switched and the MTV cartoon The Maxx. In The Maxx there’s a character named Sarah who I was very taken with. She was a loser outcast with long dark hair and big thick glasses with only one friend and wanted to be a writer. Her father was dead and her mother was kind of a cook. I wonder why I related to her so well. *snort* But instead of Amanda she had Jimmy for her best friend. Sarah and Jimmy could have also been shades of the Sarah and Jimmy in Any Way the Wind Blows, which you’ll get to read eventually, you poor souls [And as you can clearly see, I liked the names Sarah and Jimmy.]. This was also my first time trying out 1st person narrative. I tried to write in the style of Fear Street, so be prepared for very short cliffhanger chapters.

Jimmy Dearest
Written May 1996
Age 11


I am quite an ordinary girl. With ordinary brown hair and brown eyes. I’m no beuaty. But Jimmy thinks so. And that’s because Jimmy’s weird. I don’t have many friends. Jimmy’s my best friend. I guess because we’re both outcasts. From what I’ve said so far, you probably thinks this is the most boring thing in the world [Not after you’ve read The Tie That Binds]--But trust me, it’s not.

My story begins at about a year ago. About a girl, who’s name was Sarah. I will tell it to you now. . . .

Chapter 1

“Damn!”, I muttered. “I forgot my homework on the coffee table.”

“You’re going to be in deep shit, Sarah,” said Jimmy, “this is the third time this week. You really should do your homework more often, even I have it.” [Doesn’t he sound dreamy… And it seems I need to have at least one character in every story that is excessively profane.]

I hate it when he ridicules me like this. Does he really believe he’s so great? Why do I even have to ask myself that? The answers obvious of course. Yes.

“Well sorry O-great-and-powerful Jimmy,” I said sarcastically, “I guess no one could be as great as you.”

“I didn’t mean it that way Sarah,” he said apologeticaly. He really did sound sorry but I’m to smart for his stupid act. So, I just left him standing at my locker, and went to class. Strangely enough no one was in the classroom. [That’s a sure sign something’s wrong, right?]

[By the way, some dumb shit back in sixth grade stole my notebook and passed it around the class. They drew all over it and went through and with a black marker put a dot in every round letter, like a’s and o’s, which makes it really hard to read. Did I mention I was an outcast? I don’t know if I’ve yet made that clear.]

As I stepped in I noticed a red puddle on the floor, behind the desk. I walked over to see what it was. If I had known what was on the other side, I wouldn’t have looked, but it’s too late to change that.

I walked over, and then saw the most frightening scene any one could ever see in life.

Chapter 2

A corpse.

A bloody mess of organs and muscle, and tissue. A bloody mangled mess. I took a step back. Right into another puddle of blood. I slipped. Hit my head on the wall. Fell right on my but into another puddle of blood. But this time there was something squwishy in it. I couldn’t move. Things got dim. Dimmer. Still dimmer. Black. [Umm…yeah. I was clearly a mentally healthy preteen.]

Chapter 3

I woke up in a room I didn’t recognize. Jimmy was standing above me.

“Where am I?”, I choked out in a hoarse whisper.

“Your in the hospital,” he said to me. “That fall you had gave you a pretty nasty bump.”

“Who was that guy?”

“What guy?”

“The guy that died.” [What other guy could she mean?]

“That was Mr. Wain.”


“Yeah, and how did you get blood all over your ass?” [Because that was the only thing he was checking out.]

“I fell into blood?”


“Excuse me,” a voice said behind them us. [Still working on this first person thing]

“Yeah,” Jimmy said eagerly.

“It apears Miss Devens has only a minor cancussion,” he replied. I hate when doctors adress their patients as Miss or Mr. I really hate it.

“When will I be released,” I asked in a voice a little above a whisper.

“Tomorrow probably. Young man.”

“Yes,” Jimmy said once again.

“Visiting hours are over.”

“I’ll leave.”

And he left.

Left me all alone. [Where are her parents? She has a concussion and is being kept at the hospital. Shouldn‘t they be around somewhere?]

Then the doctor left. And turned of the light behind him.

Then I was alone in the darkness.

All alone.

It swallowed me up. Surrounding me at every angel.

I felt tired and hungry. And scared. There was something out there in the darkness. Something that was waiting for me to fall asleep. Something that wanted me.

Yet I still felt tired and hungry. The hunger I could ignore. But not the tiredness. I was so tired. I didn’t want to go to sleep. I was afraid of the thing in the darkness. I had never wanted Jimmy by me so much as I did then.

But in the end of this rediculas struggle I had, the other side won. . . .

* * * * *

I know, I know. It looks as though I’m Sarah, but trust me I’m not. This is just a story about an unfortunate girl. A very unfortunate girl. A very very very un-- Why am I doing that? I don’t know. Like people say I don’t know anything. I’m mindless. Brainless. Just there.

Well I must hurry, the hourglass runs low. [So lifted from Chain Letter 2] Movin’ on. The next mourning. . . . . .

* * * * *

Well, wasn’t that murderously marvelous! Who killed the teacher? How did he die exactly since he was so mutilated Sarah didn’t even recognize him? Who is this other person telling the story? Stay tuned for the next installment of Jimmy Dearest, where none of these questions are answered.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

An Untitled, Unfinished Play, Once More

There’s a story behind this one. When I was tenish-elevenish, me and my friends would cut body parts out of magazines and glue them together to form one complete disproportioned person. They were kind of cool looking. I know of one that survived in one of my notebooks, but, alas, that particular notebook is currently in storage. But to give you an idea of what these looked like I made one real quick. ^_^

Amanda and I took this to another level. We glued our body parts together on notebook paper and cut them out and glued them to this weird blue Styrofoam we found in the garage. (We had a crap load of this stuff and I never knew where it came from. But things often appeared and disappeared in the garage of the magical house on Christian Circle, like the front tire to my bike… I still think we had gnomes living among us.) We cut the Styrofoam around the shape of their bodies, gave them all names, and used them as dolls. And this play is based on those dolls. Sadly, the dolls are long gone…

Scene 1 (walking to school)

D.J.: Today’s our first Day of school here.
Diedre: I know.
D.J.: I’m so nervous.
Diedre: Why?
D.J.: I don’t know. I just get the feeling that we are definitely not going to fit in here. I mean this is sunny California. We’re New York girls. [Note: Sweet Valley influence. Every young adult series should take place in California. *nods*]
Diedre: It’s going to be so weird here.
D.J.: Well at least now mom will give us some space and let us live our own lives.
Diedre: Well, we’re here. Ready.
D.J.: As ready as I’ll ever be.
Diedre: Good. Lets go.

Scene 2 (at receptionists desk)

D.J.: We’re here to get our new schedules.
Receptionist: Diedre and Dana-Jane Johnson, right
D.J.: D.J. please.
Receptionist: OK, D.J. Here are your schedules.
Diedre: Thank you.
D.J.: She’s shy.
Receptionist: Have a good day.
(they walk away and bump into April Mulch)
April: Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you. New here?
D.J.: Yeah.
Diedre: I’m going to class now.
April: Whose that?
D.J.: That’s my older sister Diedre.
April: My name is April Mulch.
D.J.: Nice to meet you April.
April: Pleasure.
D.J.: My name’s D.J. Johnson.
April: what class do you have next?
(she looks at her schedule)
D.J.: Science.
April: So do I. Right now we’re working on a project. I don’t have a partner, so you can be mine. [How convenient…] Do you know anyone around here.
D.J.: No.
April: I can introduce you to my friends.
D.J.: That’s nice.
April: Come on.
(they go to science class)
April: D.J., this is Mrs. Deroyer. [Like Destroyer, only minus the S and T. Get it? You get it!]
Deroyer: Hi. You must be Dana-Jane Johnson. [And yes, Mrs. Deroyer did have a doll. She was really ugly, too, if memory serves correct.]
D.J.: D.J.
Deroyer: Whatever. Take a seat next to Courtney.
April: Mrs. Deroyer, you can’t make her sit there.
Deroyer: And why not?
April: That’s Courtney Bloome. The Courtney Bloome.
Deroyer: Have a Seat Ms. Mulch. You too Ms. Johnson.
(they have a seat)
Deroyer: All right I’m going to call role now, Alex. [Only so I could have the chance to write down all the characters names.]
Alex: Here.
Deroyer: Dana.
Dana: Here.
Deroyer: Courtney.
Courtney: Do we have to do this every stupid day of our mortal lives.
Deroyer: Courtney, hush.
Courtney: Hymph.
Deroyer: Sarah.
Sarah: Here.
Deroyer: Courtney, why can’t you behave more like your sister.
Courtney: Frankly because I’m not my sister. I’m sixteen years old. I think I can live my own life.
Sarah: Courtney, I’m sixteen too. [Obviously, they’re twins. And so you know, they were blond…]
Courtney: Yeah, whatever.
Deroyer: Can we move on pleas. Travis.
Travis: Here.
Deroyer: Emily.
Emily: Here.
Deroyer: Mark.
Mark: Here.
Deroyer: April.
April: Here.
Deroyer: Donahue. [Who names their kid Donahue?]
Donahue: Here.
Deroyer: James.
James: Here.
Deroyer: Andy.
Andy: Here.
Deroyer: Katherine.
Katherine: Here.
Deroyer: Vinney.
Vinney: Here.
Deroyer: Todd. [Are you surprised? I’m not.]
Todd: Here.
Deroyer: Eric.
Eric: Here.
Deroyer: Vera.
Vera: Here.
Deroyer: Andrew.
Andrew: Here.
Deroyer: Liza.
Lizzy: Here. [Liza or Lizzy? No one knows.]
Deroyer: Glenda.
Glenda: Here.
Deroyer: And class we have a knew student with us today. D.J. Johnson. Everyone, say hi.
Class: Hi D.J.
D.J.: Hi.
Deroyer: D.J., why don’t you come up here and tell us a little about yourself. [Because nothing makes you feel more at ease than standing in a room full of strangers and thinking of a way to make yourself sound cool.]
(she gets up and goes to the front of the class)
D.J.: Well there isn’t that much to tell. I’m from New York.
Someone: Oooooo. New York! [I went through the role call for the entire class and couldn’t be bothered to pick a name for this douche bag?]
D.J.: Yeah New York. My parents are divorce. I live with my mom. I have a sister named Diedre. She’s a sienior. And that’s about it.
(she goes to take a seat)
Deroyer: OK. Kids. Get to your science progects.
(April raises her hand)
Deroyer: Yes April.
April: D.J.”s gonna be in my group.
Deroyer: That’s nice. Get to work. [Isn’t she a caring teacher. I think she was modeled off of Mrs. Cranberry. More on her later, as I don’t think she actually appears in any written stories.]
(April stands up and goes over to D.J.’s desk.)
D.J.: What are we working on
April: Making a game having to deal with the biomes. The tundra, tiaga, temperete diciduos forest, Grassland, tropical rain forest, and desert. You familiar with them. [Gee, I wonder what I was working on in school at the time…]
D.J.: Yeah I’m familiar with them. What are the basic things I need to know around here? [Fuck the project. What’s the social latter looking like?]
April: Stay away from Courtney.
D.J.: That Courtney.
April: Yeah Courtney Bloome. She’s a troublemaker. Wherever she can find it. See that girl over that.
D.J.: Yeah.
April: That’s here fraternal twin Sarah. She’s pretty nice. The complete opposite of Courtney. Courtney’s party is Emily Griffith. Stay away from here too.
D.J.: Why?
April: That’s Courtney’s best friend. Right now She’s going out with my brother Johnathan.
D.J.: Yikes. [Anyone else remember those pencils? They were awesome.]
April: Tell me about it. It has got to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. [There will be worse, April, promise.]
D.J.: How does your mom treat you. [Is that any of your effing business?]
April: Ok, I guess. Why?
D.J.: My mom is so overprotective. Especially with me.
April: That oughta suck.
D.J.: I hate it.
April: Tell me about New York.
D.J.: It’s just Basically any normal New England Town. [Balls!] It just has a lot more pollution, Acid rain, crime, and other stuff like that. [Sure we’re not talking about L.A.?] I mean I’ve lived in Albany, Manhatten, Brooklyn, Long Island, and New York City.
April: Whoa, you lived all over New York.
D.J. Yep. I have. How about you?
April: Well my brother was born in Omaha Nerbraska, and I was born in Keansburg New Jersey. I only lived there till I was five, then I moved here. [I’m wondering what brought them from Nebraska to Keansburg of all places. Drug trafficking, maybe?]
D.J.: I am so glad that it is May, and I wont be here that long untill next year.
April: Why did you move so late in the year anyways?
D.J.: I don’t know, my moms an idiot.
April: Mabey she should meet my mom. She’s an idiot too. What’s your next class. No, let me guess. Math.
D.J.: How did you know?
April: That’s my next class too.
D.J.: I guess we’re destined to be friends. [blech]
April: Yeah. Hey listen. Mr. Ace is the Math teacher, and he always gives a lot of homework that you can barely understand. [Sounds like my Algebra 2/Trig teacher.] So why don’t you come over my house tonight and I’ll help you.
D.J.: Sure. But I have to tell my mom where I’m going or she’ll have a cow.
April: Moms are that way.
D.J.: I wish mine wasn’t. She sucks. I hate her so much some times.
April: You don’t mean that.
D.J.: Your right, I don’t.
(the bell rings)
Deroyer: All right class I’ll see you tomorrow.
April: What’s your locker number.
D.J.: 448.
April: I have 434.
D.J.: Great.
Someone: Hey April
(They turned around)
April: Hi Emily.
Emily: Whose your little friend, April?
April: D.J.
D.J.: Hi.
Emily: Hi. Listen, April, I just happen to like your brother. And he just happens to like Me. [That kinda came out of nowhere…]
April: Emily, go away.
(Nancy walks up)
Nancy: Hi April, hi Emily.
Emily: Go to hell Nancy. [What?]
(Emily walks off)
Nancy: Emily has such a temper sometimes. And no one even does anything to her.
April: That’s for damn sure..
Nancy: Well I have to go. I have to meat my friend Sydney. Bye.
D.J.: She’s nice. [She just completely ignored you!]
April: It’s still just too hard to believe that that’s Emily Griffith’s sister. There’s not even a slight family resemblance in their looks. [I think one of the dolls was white, and the other was Hispanic…]
D.J.: Your right.
April: I know I’m right. I’m always right. [Maybe this is why she didn’t have a partner.]
D.J.: Hmmmm.

Scene 3 (In math class)

Mr. Ace: Dana-Jane Johnson, right? [No, Mr. Ace did not have a doll, but I realized I needed more than one teacher.]
D.J.: D.J.
Mr. Ace: Yes, very well. Take a seat right over there next to Sarah.
D.J. Ok.
(She walks over to the desk.)
Sarah: Hi, I’m Sarah Bloome.
D.J.: Hi.
Sarah: Your D.J. right.
D.J.: Yeah.
Sarah: How was life in New Hork?
D.J.: It was Ok.
Sarah: Was it boring?
D.J.: Sometimes.
Sarah: Except for my sister Courtney, I have absolutely no life.
D.J.: Courtney’s your sister. [April fricken told you that!]
Sarah: Unfortunatly. She is such a little witch. I hate her so much sometimes. [Gee these people have such pent up aggression towards their family members. Makes you wonder if the author was trying to say something…]
D.J.: I haven’t met her yet.
Sarah: You’d hate her. You seem like a nice girl, and believe me Courtney’s a witch. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
D.J.: One. My sister Diedre. She’s a senior. Do you have any besides Courtney.
Sarah: Yeah, my brother whose at College. [With a capital “C”]
D.J.: I don’t have any brothers.
Sarah: Lucky.
D.J.: Yeah I guess I am.

Scene 4 (lunch)

(D.J. is looking for Diedre in Cafeteria)
D.J.: There you are I’ve been looking all over for you.
Diedre: How was your day so far.
D.J.: Pretty good. I’ve made two friends, and I can tell all my teachers hate me except Mr. Ace.
Diedre: Who are your friends.
D.J.: That girl we ran into in the hall. Her name is April Mulch, and my other friend is Sarah Bloom.
Diedre: That’s nice, I have two knew friends too. Their names are Nancy Griffith and Sydney Markus.
D.J.: That’s nice.
(April approaches the table)
April: Hi again
D.J.: April, sit down.
April: Ok.
Diedre: Hi, I’m Diedre Johnson. [The weird girl who just kind of ditched you guys in the hall.]
April: April Mulch. Pleasure to meet you. Again.
Diedre: Yeah, whatever.
D.J.: Whose that guy over there.
April: That’s my brothe Johnathan. Hey Johny boy, get over here.
(He walks over) [Because he‘s so not embarrassed by being called “Johny Boy“ in the middle of a crowded high school lunch room]
Johnathan: Hey Ape. [Niiiiiice]
April: April!
Johnathan: Whatever. Anyway, why’d you call me over? I was having a good time.
April: How can anyone have a good time with Emily Griffith.
Johny: Shut up April.
April: Make me.
John: I said shut up. [Oh to be a fly on the wall in their house…]
April: I said shut up. Well anyway. This is my friend D.J., and this is her sister Diedre.
John: Correct me if I’m wrong, but your in my third period physics class. [John so needs to be shot for using that line.]
Diedre: Yep.
John: See ya at home April
April: Bye, Johnny Boy.
(then he walks off)
April: What the hell does he see in Emily?
D.J.: I don’t know.
Diedre: Neither do I.
D.J.: April.
April: Yeah.
D.J.: You know Sarah Bloome.
April: Yeah. Who doesn’t?
D.J.: No, I mean, really know her. Like good friends.
April: Yeah, she’s one of my best friends.
D.J.: She’s Courtney’s sister. Is it safe to hang out around her and her crowd. [I feel like we’ve gone over this already.]
April: Yeah. She’s perfectly safe. The complete oposite of Courtney. I told you that before. [Nice to know it’s only D.J. who suffers from short term memory loss.]
D.J.: Yeah. I know. I was just double check. I mean, Courtey doesn’t really seem that bad. But from what you have told me she is. [She told you nothing but she gets into trouble.]
April: That’s the understatement of the year. [Me and Amanda used this line A LOT]
D.J.: I guess, but then again, I am knew around here.
April: I know. Everybody Does.
Diedre: My guess is that there are a lot of gossips around here. [How observant.]
April: You bet.
Diedre: I thought so.
April: Well I gotta go. Bye.
(she leaves)
Diedre: Nice Girl. [It sounded like you were insulting her a minute ago.]
D.J.: Yeah. I know.

Scene 5 (Going home that afternoon)

D.J.: I’m home mom.
(Kimmy comes in the living room.
Kimmy: Hello D.J. How was your day at school.? [MS Works doesn’t recognize Kimmy as a word, FYI.]
D.J.: Ok.
Kimmy: Where’s Diedre?
D.J.: Doing her college aplication at school.
Kimmy: Good for her. So tell me how your day went.
D.J.: I have made two knew friends. They’re in most of my classes. And they’re really nice.
Kimmy: That’s good.
D.J.: Yeah, well I’m going over April’s house.
Kimmy: Whose April? [D.J.’s April!]
D.J.: My friend. April Mulch.
Kimmy: Be home before six.
D.J.: Mom! I am sixteen years old. A this isn’t New York. [I never had a curfew. I only knew of these things through books and my friends. Like I had one friend who when we were little had to “check in” with her parents by calling them every hour on the hour. I thought her parents were retarded, or maybe that they thought she was retarded.]
Kimmy: I said be home before six, you lady. And be home before six you will. Or you are grounded.
D.J.: But.
Kimmy: No buts about it.
(Then she leaves the room)
D.J.: I hate her sometimes.
(the doorbell rings)
D.J.: Coming!
(She opened the door)
D.J.: Hi April.
April: Hi D.J.
D.J.: come on in. I have to be home by six.
April: Why?
D.J.: Because of my stupid mother.
April: Well come on. We’ll deal with the harder stuff first.
D.J.: Ok. Mom, I’m leaving now!
Kimmy: Have a good time!
D.J.: I will.
(they leave)

April: Come on in.
(they walk in)
Johnny: HI April. Hi D.J.
Emily: Hi.
Courtney: Pleasure.
April: Hi John, Emily, Courtney.
D.J.: Hi.
April: We’re going up now to do our homework. And when will mom and dad be home.
John: Monday would be my guess. [Where are they?]
April: Just another magic Monday. [Yeah. For years I totally thought the song Manic Monday was Magic Monday.]
John: See ya guys later.
(they go upstairs)
D.J.: Lucky you.
April: What do you mean?
D.J.: My mom still thinks I need a babysitter.
April: God, that is bad.
D.J.: Tell me about it. I hate her so much. I have to be home by six “o” clock, or she’ll ground me. I mean, I understand this in New York. But we’re not in New York anymore.
April: hmmmm.
D.J.: It sucks.
April: That’d be my guess.
D.J.: So what should we do first?
April: Math.
D.J.: Why?
April: Mr. Ace gives the hardest work out of the entire junior class.
D.J.: Great. And aparently he’s the only one of my teachers that likes me.
April: Poor you.
D.J.: I know. It’s horrible.
April: You know what.
D.J.: What?
April: You’re not alone.
D.J.: What do you mean?
April: I mean the teachers usually hate everyone of they’re students. [If you followed that sentence you’re a special kind of person like me. ^_-] It’s not common when they actually liked one. But in your case, I’d watch out. Mr. Ace is one weird teacher. [Oooh. Weird in a teacher-who-has-sex-with-his-students kind of way? This play just got interesting.]
D.J.: Tell me about it. I can’t wait until we get out of school next month.
April: Why exactly did you move so late in the year?
D.J.: My mom is stupid. We were supposed to move here this summer. But she moved us here as soon as she could.
April: That sucks.
D.J.: I know. Believe me I know.

Scene 6 (Downstairs)

Courtney: Your sister is such a stupid little--
Jon: Not all the time.
Emily: Since when do you defend April?
Courtney: And since when do you interupt me?
Jon: Sorry slut. [Burn!]
Courtney: Don’t call me a slut!
Emily: Shut up, you two!
Courtney & Jon: No!
Emily: Well, can you at least stop arguing. Please.
Jon: Fine.
Courtney: Whatever.
Emily: Let’s just act civilized and watch T.V.
Jon: Alright. It’s fine with me.
Courtney: Hmmm.

Yay! It’s over! That was kind of lame. About this time I decided to stop writing this happy school crap and write horror stories [Dear Sister and The Tie That Binds were only experiments], which led to The Epilogue that Never Was, Berkeley Manor, and Jimmy Dearest. I promise gory death.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Deathy's New Years Resolutions [Intro to Allistar]

In short, the last few months of my life have SUCKED! So, in an effort to keep myself distracted and avoid thinking about a certain asshole who shall not be named, I have made a goal for myself:
In this year, 2009, I, Deathycat, will not only finish Allistar Academy #1 A Morbid Curiousity, but I will have it edited, finalized, and submitted to no less than ten publishers.

Allistar Academy is my seven novel magnum opus I started in July 2005. (Don't worry. My writing's improved a smidgent since I was eleven.) It started as a short story about two boys who find a weird drug and have hallucinations. I wrote the first page and knew it would be much much more than that. It grew into a book, and then two books, and in the end I decided seven books would be needed to tell the tale.

I used to attempt to write my stories from beginning to end, but then I would get stuck on a certain part and loose the will to go on with it, hence why all of my stories are unfinished [Except for The Enemy Within, and Dear Sister, of course]. With Allistar I took a different route. I wrote every scene that popped into my head, from every book, completely out of order. And when I'm not doing that I bridge together the "fun" parts from beginning to end. This is a writing technique that has kept me working on this story far longer than any other in my past. But for the last year I've been stuck on Chapter 8 of the first book for almost a year. Nothing I do with it seems to be right. Well, no more! I am going to finish this stupid book if it's the last thing I do!

My friend Amanda, (the girl that helped me write Dear Sister, keep in mind), has a finished novel that's she's in the midst of editing and getting ready for submission. So what we did is make a schedule for this entire year, week by week, with a certain goal in mind each week. We write down our goal week by week in a notebook and reward ourselves with stickers! Yay! I love stickers! (I had lots of sticker books. Did you?) And we have to check in with the other to report our goal-reaching, and receive appropriate scolding or congratulations. It's great motivation. And she suggested I tell as many people as possible about my goal so they can occasionally remind me of it and I'll feel guilty, so I'm announcing it here! Our weeks span Mondays-Sundays so I'll report each Monday to let all of my fans out there know if I succeeded or not. (Let me pretend.) I accomplished the first week's goals, and am well on my way to accomplishing my goal for week 2, but I'll report more on that on Monday.

So what is Allistar Academy all about, you're wondering. Well, my little "back cover blurb" goes like this:

Von Crowley came to attend the boarding school his father had before him. His father who was brilliant. A genius. And missing.

Befriended by a deceptively cheerful classmate he is invited to play Hide and Seek with the boy and his "girlfriend" in a dilapidated old school house on campus. The haunting old building that's scheduled to be torn down. The one that feels alive with the secrets of the past.

Then one day he heard the voices. The ones unlike those belonging to his friends. And he found them. And the little glass bottle that read "Drink me..."

And here's the litle banner I made. *sniffle* I miss photoshop.

There you have it. Going off to go work on the story a little more before bed. Ta.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Cool Meme Thing

Stolen from Steph.

Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
"Michelle Needs Your Help" Hahahahah! This is funny to me.
"How to say Michelle needs to go poop in different languages..." Umm....okay...

Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
"Bill O' thinks Michelle looks like an "Angy Woman"" Bill O' is not far off.
"Shocked Michelle - Looks like Mona Lisa smells like Tuna Fish" My new perfume, Ode de Tuna.

Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
"Michelle says so" So you better listen.
"Michelle says Barack is a nerd!" So am I. Who am I to judge?

Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
"Michelle wants to play horsey." Well why not? It's fun.

Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
"Michelle does Tribal - Creeky Girls Productions." Do I receive royalties for this?

Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
"Michelle hates Canada" Hate's a strong word. I have no problem with Canada, though I do enjoy the song "Blame Canada."

Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
"Do you think Michelle asks Barack where he was born when they're cuddling in bed?" Ummm...when did that happen, and was I sober?

Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
"Michelle likes pie." Not really. I prefer cake, actually. Cheesecake.

Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search. (Uh-oh, this won't be pretty...)
"Michelle eats a vieanetta with a ladel." What the hell is vieanetta?

Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
"Michelle wears a shirt that confuses many." Awesome! I love shirts that scramble the brains of the simpleminded. Mwahahahaha!

Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
"Michelle Allen arrested for Public Intoxication Wearing A Cow Suit." A case of mistaken identity, but I kind of want to hear the story behind this one.

Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.
"Michelle loves cock."
"Michelle loves teh penis."
Well, I guess now everyone knows what I like.

In Other News....

I was planning on participating the VC Andrews movement thing this year.

I was reading through the copy of Flowers in the Attic that I have at my house last night, which happens to be a UK copy I recently got my hands on and I noticed something a little odd. Now I first read FitA when I was 12 years old and have read it no less than fifteen times, so I'm pretty familiar with the material. It starts the same as the US version but goes immediately from Cathy's initial description of her father to his doomed 36th birthday party. I was like "Wait a minute... Where's Corinne being pregnant with the twins and telling Cathy he would always love her extra special?" It was edited out! What else was edited out, I wonder. So I will be reading both version simultaneously and reporting any differences I discover.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Tie That Binds, Part Five

Last time Velvet was trying to make everyone paranoid of Paige and Fiona dreamed of Velvet's funeral. What will happen next, I wonder...

The Tie That Binds, Part 5

January 5, 1743

Fiona poked her head into Paige’s room. “Paige,” she called.

“Yes Fiona.”

“Where are you.”

“I’m in the closet.”

“Paige, I had the strangest dream last night.”

“What about?”


“What about me?”

“Well everybody was in the sitting room except you. And Velvet looked really weird, she was the only one staring at the floor. I don’t know why she was, but she was! Ther was no snow, but there was a grave on the other side of the yard. So I went over there and read it!”

“What did it say?”

“Well, It said;
Paige Melinda Fostor
Born January 12, 1727 - Died February 4, 1743
Aged 16 years, 23 days.
Rest in Peace
We will miss you.”

“Weird,” Paige said after a moment. “How did you know that my middle name is Melinda?” [Maybe because she’s your sister?]

“I don’t know.”

[Almost completely dialogue. Yeah, I was getting bored with this story, all right. I’m surprised I made it this far.]

* * * * *

Velvet walked up to the stars and down the hall to Paige’s room. “Hellow you two, what are you talking about?”

“Fiona was just telling me about a dream she had of me dying and seeing my grave!” [That's a conversation starter.]

“Really,” she paused a moment. “And did the headstone say;

Paige Melinda Fostor
Born January 12, 1727 - Died February 4, 1743
Aged 16 years, 23 days.
Rest in Peace
We will miss you.”
[I think I wrote this over and over]
[because it took up space]
[and made the story look longer]
[than it actually was]
[And if you think this is bad]
[Just wait till we get to]
[The Enemy Within]

“Yeah,” Paige and Fiona said at the same time after a horrified silence.

“How did you know?” Fiona asked.

“I had the same dream.”


“Two nights ago.”


“Very.” [It’s not just weird, you dumb asses! If two people had dreams about my funeral I would be fricken paranoid as hell!]

* * * * *

At dinner the three girls sat uneasily at the table.

“Is there anything wrong,” Hesta asked her daughters worriedly.

“No mother,” Fiona answered. [The #1 rule for writing YA Lit, teens NEVER go to their parents when they have a problem.]

“I was thinking,” said Paige.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” said fifteen year old Jonathan, the youngest. [Boy, they sure popped those kids out fast… And didn’t Jonathan come across as much younger at the “picknick?”]

“Be quiet Jonathan,” said Fiona. “Paige was talking.”

“Well anyway, I was thinking mabey me, Fiona, and Velvet could all go to town again soon.”

“Well, Paige, as soon as the snow is gone you can go. [But Velvet walks an hour and a half to the Danner’s in the snow and no one gives a fuck? No wonder she wants to kill everyone!] And you’re not going to abandin each other next time,” there father said staring at Velvet and Fiona across the table.

They both sank low in their seats. “We’re sorry mother,” and sank low in their seats. [New worst written paragraph yet! And weren’t they talking to their father?]

“May I be excused,” Velvet asked.

“Yes you may,” Edward said.

Velvet pushed her chair out, stood up, and left the room. Everyone was eating in silence a while after that.

Then Edward spoke. “That reminds me. I need to get to town before it gets too late.”

“Why father,” Paige asked somewhat interested.

“I need to buy some more wood Paige.” [Because apparently Paige didn’t buy enough.]

“May I go with you.”

“No, you may not.”

“But why, father?”

“Becaust it is getting dark out, and it is very cold.”

“But I want to go.”

“Paige, I said no.”

“Paige, I. . . . Uhh. . . . Have something to show you in my. . . Ahh. . . Room,” Fiona said. [Subtle.]

“I don’t want to see what you have to show me Fiona.”

“Paige, just go see what your sister wants to--.”

“Stop all the fighting. I cannot take all the fighting,” Hest screamed.

“But I want to go to town,” Paige yelled. [I can only hope I didn’t actually act like this.]

“I said no, Paige,” Edward said trying to control his anger.

“Paige, just come on,” Fiona said grabbing her sisters arm and trying to drag her out of the room.

“Stop it! Shut up! All of you,” Hesta screamed.

“I don’t want to shut up, Hesta,” Edward screamed at his wife. [No wonder their children are such bitches]

“Mother, Father, Paige! Please, can’t we all just get along,” Fiona screamed. She was usually the one who was always in control of herself. But not at this fight.

“May I be excused.” They all turned to stare at Jonathan. [Single sane person in the entire story.]

They were all staring at Jonathan until Velvet came back into the room. “What is going on,” she asked.

“Nothing, I will be going now,” Father answered.


“To get some wood.”

As he left, everyone else stood in an uneasy silence.

I’m going to my room,” Velvet said.

* * * * *

January 6, 1743

“Vivian, are we going to do today,” Evet asked.

“We, are not doing a thing! “I’m, going for a walk! You, are staying here!”

“But why?”

“Because I said so!”

* * * * *

“As she was walking threw the woods, she noticed a strange animal in her path. What could it be, she wandered out loud--”

Her story [I guess she was reading???] was interrupted by a loud knocking on her door. “Who’s there,” she called out.

Now one answered. Frustrated, she got up and opened the door.

“Velvet, why didn’t you answer me? Velvet! Speak!”

“Fiona, we are in terrible trouble!”

“What are you talking about?”


“What about Paige?”

“She’s dangerous, Fiona. Very dangerous!”

“Get out of my room, Velvet. Get out, and stay out.”

* * * * *

“Aunt Marlo,” Evet said inocently.

“Yes Evet,” she replied.

“Vivian was being mean to me.”


“The little girl nodded her head yes.

“Well, I’ll have to have a talk with that girl.”

Evet just kept looking at her aunt strangely as she played with her long red hair that was so much like her own. [For my life I can’t remember what Evet had to do with the story at all.]

* * * * *

Adi was walking threw the woods as he noticed a pretty red head. As he aproached the strange girl, he senced something about her. Something different from other girls. Something strange. Something Evil.

“Who are you,” he asked when he aproached her. [He’s either brave or stupid, considering that she’s “Evil.”]

“I might ask you the same thing,” she snapped.

“My name’s Adi,” he told the girl. [Adi never had a last name.] “What might yours be?”

“It just might be Evet,” she said playing with ha strand of her long red curly hair. “But it’s not. It’s Vivian Danner,” she said.

“That’s a nice name,” he replied to Vivian.

“No it’s not. I hate the name.” [You sure know how to attract a guy, Viv.]

The were silent for a couple of moments. “I’d bett go,” she replied and took of.

He watched as she took off. She was a nice girl, [I thought she was “Evil”] but he liked the girl he saw the other day better. If only he could see her again.. . . . .

* * * * *

The day went by slowly for Velvet. She had absolutely nothing to do. [What about chores?] Earlier that day she gave a so-called warning to Fiona about Paige. Fiona kicked her out of her room. Mostly because she was starting to scare her. After that she was walking down the hall and she wasn’t paying any attention to what she was doing, that when she got to the stairs she slipped and fell all the rest of the way down.

A little while after that her father told her they were getting another servent. It wasn’t exactly thrilling to get a new servent. They got them all the time. They all quit and came to work for them all the time.

After that Velvet went outside. Very unaware that she had no shoes on and that there was still half a foot of snow on the ground. [WTF?] She got frostbite a bit badly. And then there was lunch.

Paige made it her treat of course. She made oatmeal mixed with a bunch of spices. And it was also very hot, and, she spilled it all over herself. [Not on her black dress!] And it hurt like hell. But now she was Justin sitting in the sitting room very bored.

Then there was a short knock on the door and then Vivian stepped in. She always did that.

“Velvet, your sister told me what happened to you today!” She did say it sincerely, but Velvet could tell she was trying very hard to contain her laughter.

“Just go ahead and do it Vivian.”

“Do what?”


“What makes you think I want to laugh?”

“Well first-of-all, I fall down the stairs and land on my head. [And she didn’t hurt herself?] Second-of-all, I go outside in my barefeet without realizing there was a half a foot of snow on the ground. And third-of-all, I spill hot oatmeal all over myself! Why wouldn’t anyone want to laugh about that?”

“Okay, Okay, I give in! It’s hilarious! I’ve never heard anything so funny in my life!”

“Ha, ha, ha.”

“Oh, Velvet, guess what?”


“I met a boy in the woods.”

“Wonderful. What did he say? Did he ask you to marry him?”

“You don’t have to be so sarcastic.”

“Yes I do.”

The two were silent for a moment. Then Velvet spoke.

“Did you find out what his name is?”

“Yeah. It’s Adi.”

* * * * *

Fiona walked by the doorway of the sitting room just in time to hear the last thing Vivian said.

Adi, she thought. The guy I met in the woods. “Well I’m not going to let her have him so easily,” she murmered out loud.

* * * * *

And that’s as far as I got. Finally, merciful God, it’s over! All I remember about my original plan for this story is it was supposed to go through every day for the entire year and almost everyone in the storty died. Velvet was the murderer, and how they pinned her to the murders, was her black velvet ribbon she always wore in her hair was found at a crime scene, thusbeing the tie that binds her to the murders. I was just cool like that. ^_^

Next time: I bring to you my New Years Resolutions.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Tie That Binds, Part Four

Last time Fiona was tormented by nightmares and Vivian counted the clouds. This story's so boring I'm posting the next two days! w00t!

January 3, 1743

“Great I’m out here again. I might as well count all the damned clouds. One damn cloud. Two damn clouds. Three damn clouds. Four damn clouds. Five damn clouds.” If only Velvet could see me now, she thought. “I wonder why it didn’t snow yesterday. Dam it’s windy out here.” [Why are you counting clouds? Better yet, why are you out at dawn every morning?]

She pushed a piece of red hair out of her face. Then the snow began to fall. “I spoke to soon,” said Vivian Danner.

* * * * *

“It’s snowing like it’s never snowed before,” said Hesta Fostor.

“Mother, it always snows like that,” said Velvet.

Hesta looked at her daughter sadly. Velvet was a true beauty, but had very bad manners. Velvet was such a negative girl. She was always dressed in black for some reason. Hesta didn’t know why. [Because she’s Goth.]

* * * * *

Several hours later the snow was about a foot deep. And everywhere till the eye can see was white. “It’s beautiful,” said Paige as she looked threw Fiona’s bedroom window.

“It sure is,” she said. Why doesn’t she just leave, Fiona thought.

“It’s so dark out I wonder what time it is,” said Paige.

“Yeah, me too,” Fiona agreed.

“Hello people,” said a voice from the doorway.

Fiona knew emiediately it was Velvet. She looked beautiful in her black dress with lacing at the coller.

“I’m going to my room now,” Paige said.

When Paige left, Velvet hurried over and sat on the bed. “Fiona,” she whispered in a horse voice, “have you noticed anything strange about Paige lately.”

“No, why?”

“Because I think she’s plotting against us.”

“Where did you get an idea like that?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a gut feeling. But Fiona, Paige is dangerous.”

“How can she be dangerous?”

“Because she is.”

She is very scary, Fiona thought. [Paranoid, maybe. But scary?]

“Be careful Fiona, Paige is very dangerous. We have no way of knowing what she might do next.” With that, she stood up and walked out fo the room. Her hair--down for once--flowing gently behind her.

“Velvet is very scary,” Fiona murmered out loud, “very scary indeed.”

* * * * *

“It is so dark outside,” muttered Paige. “Why does it always have to be so dark when it snows? Why do I always have to talk to myself? Why do I always ask myself questions? I don’t know. I just don’t know.” [I don’t even need to snark Paige, do I?]

As she fingered her long black hair she went over her past in her head for some reason. [And what is this past?]

* * * * *

“More damn clouds. That’s all we need, more damn clouds.” Vivian Danner was a very negative person. “I hate these clouds.” [And I hate you. Why are you in this story?]

* * * * *

It had been two days since he had had his encounter with the mysterious girl. But still, he--Adi--could not get her out of his head. She had barely said anything to him. She just studdered. “I really wish I could see her again.” [Perhaps he thinks she’s mentally challenged, and therefore, “easy.”]

* * * * *

“Damn, damn, damn, damn clouds. I really hate these damned clouds.”

* * * * *

“It is so boring, so so so so boring,” Velvet kept muttering to herself. [So is this story.] She kept on muttering that to herself until she fell into an uneasy sleep.

In her dream she was in the sitting room. Everyone she knew was dressed in black. Every was there except Paige.

Where’s Paige, she thought.

Then Fiona answered her question. “Poor Paige, poor Paige. To die that way. Murdered.” Then she started crying.

I have to get out of here, she thought in her dream. Then she tood up and ran outside. Her long blond hair tied in a black velvet ribbin. [Plot point!]

When she was outside she saw there was no snow, but there was a closed casket on the other side of the lawn. She ran right over to it. She saw the place where they aparently planned to bairy the casket. At the head of the grave she saw the headstone.

She read it;

Paige Melinda Fostor
Born January 12, 1727 - Died February 4, 1743
Aged 16 years, 23 days.
Rest in Peace
We will miss you

She walked away from the grave and faced the casket. “Paige can’t be dead,” she murmered out loud. Then she pulled open the coffin lid and peered inside.

“Noooo. . . .” she screamed when she saw her sister’s body. There was dry blood all over her neck. Her eyes had already sank into her head.

Velvet woke up and sat up in bed. She stood up and walked over to the window. It was nighttime. Everyone was probably already asleep. She walked away from the window and out of the room. She walked down the hall to Paiges room. Then stepped inside. Her sister was sound asleep. She went back out into the hall and back to her room.

* * * * *

January 4, 1743

“It is such a lovely day today,” said Fiona as she stepped into the sitting room.

“It sure is,” said Paige.

“Paige, why don’t you go upstairs and get dressed so we can go outside.” [in the blizzard.]

“That is a marvelous idea. I’ll go up there right now and get dressed.

Then she went up the stairs and down the hall to her room. Before she got to her room she noticed someone in the shadows staring at her. Who is that, Paige thought. Then Velvet stepped out of the shadows.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Velvet?”

“No reason,” Velvet answered quite quickly. Then Velvet walked up to her and said. “Be very careful Paige. Very careful.” Then turned around and went to her room.

Velvet is a scary girl, she thought. “Very scary girl.”

* * * * *

When Paige was dressed and ready she went downstairs. “Fiona,” she said.

“Yes, Paige.”

“Have you noticed anything strange about Velvet lately?”

“NO, not really. Why do you ask?”

“Oh. . . . . Uhh. . . . No reason!”

“Well then, let’s go outside then.”

* * * * *

“I am bored. Very, very, very, very, bored. Can’t something exciting ever happen,” Vivian Danner kept mumbling to herself.

“Vivian, I want to do something,” said Vivian’s three year old cousin Evet Danner. [again, Evet=Yvette]

“Evet, there is nothing to freeken do. No why don’t you just shut your little damn mouth and go to your room!”

Startled by the scolding tone, Evet starting screaming. “Ahhhhhhhh. . . . . . . “

“Evet, be a good girl. Plese don’t cry. Ummm. . . I’ll read you a story. I’ll do almost anything.” [I kind of wish she’d sell her soul to the devil to make the kid shut up. It would make this story more interesting. You‘d think it would be more interesting, considering it‘s supposed to be about witchcraft...]

“Ahhhhh. . . .”

“Please shut up before you wake up mother and father.”

“Ahhhhhhh. . . . . .“

“Vivian what is all that noise out there,” asked her mother, Marlo Danner.

“Nothing mom,” she answered her mother.

“Are you sure,” her mother asked, “You haven’t been yelling at Evet again, have you?”


* * * * *

As Velvet was walking down the stairs to go outside she was struggling in trying to keep all her blonde hair in a bun. “I hate my damn hair. I really hate it. I really really reall--”

“Velvet,” said her mother Hesta. “What are you doing.”

“I’m. . . . . uhhhhh. . . . . . Going outside. Bye.” Then she did go outside. As she was walking across the yard to the spot Fiona and Paige were she noticed they were in the exact place the grave and casket were in her dream. Weird, she thought. Mabey it means something. No it can’t mean anything. . . . Or mabey it does.

* * * * *

“It is so much fun out here,” said Paige.

“Yes I know. There hasn’t been this mash snow since. . . . God knows when.”

“That is true. Fiona!”


“It’s Velvet, she’s staring at me again.”

“Sooo. . . . What’s the big deal? I mean Velvets an odd girl. She is always staring at people.” [They all know Velvet's a freak.]

“I know. But, she’s scaring me. I don’t like it when she does that.”

“Velvet, come over here,” screamed Fiona.

Velvet and Fiona, thought Paige. I should have known. They don’t want to be around me. I mean, Fiona is eighteen and Velvet is seventeen--

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her sister say, “Velvet, hurry up!”

* * * * *

Why is Paige looking at me like that? Velvet thought uneasily, and why does Fiona keep screaming at me. I might as well go over there. [This is starting to get a bit redundant. Okay, MORE redundant.]

As she was walking over there she noticed that the snow was not at all as deep as she thought it was. “Hi Fiona. Hi Paige. What are you two doing,” she asked.

“We’re just standing and talking,” Paige answered tirely. [That’s not a word.]

“It’s kind of cold out here,” Velvet said acnowlnging [Even if that IS supposed to be acknowledging it still doesn’t work at all right here.] the fact that it wasn’t cold, but stand right there was giving her the creeps.

“I isn’t cold out here Velet,” said Fiona who had just been standing there, aparently lost in thought. [There’s snow on the ground. It’s cold.] “Mabey you’re sick.”

“I don’t think so. I’m going over to the Danner’s house.”

“Bye,” Fiona and Paige said at the same time.

* * * * *

“So many damn clouds. So, so, so, so, many damn clouds,” Vivan was repeating the phrase over and over again. [Inspiration a bit dry?]

“Vivian, I want to do something,” said Evet. Evet had long red hair and dark blue eyes, just like her cousin.

“You want to do something. I know what you can do! Go to hell!”

* * * * *

Velvet walked up to the Danner’s house just in time to her Vivian yell go to hell to her cousin. Velvet aproached the door slowly and tapped on the door. She waited a moment, then a figure apeared in the window, then Vivian opened the door. [That’s the worst written paragraph yet!]

“Oh hi Velvet. What brings you here?”

“I was just in the neiborhood. You know what, I had the strangest dream last night!”

* * * * *

When Velvet got back to the house that night, everybody was asleep. So she quietly climbed the stairs and went to her room.

* * * * *

She was in the sitting room. Everybody except Paige was there dressed in black and weeping. Except Velvet she just sat on the chair and stared at the floor. I wonder what she’s thinking about, thought Fiona.

Fiona didn’t want to stay there. It was scaring her the way everybody was. She got up and walked outside. “Hmmmm, no snow.”

She noticed a casket and an already prepared grave on the other side of the yard. Fiona really wanted to find out what was going on. Then she walked over to the grave with the headstone.

She gasped as she read it:

Paige Melinda Fostor
Born January 12, 1727 - Died February 4, 1743
Aged 16 years, 23 days.
Rest in Peace
We will miss you

Fiona woke up right away and sat up in bed. “What a horible nightmare. Another horrible nightmare. I hate these nightmares so much. So much.”

* * * * *

It is so boring this time of morning night. So very very boring.”

* * * * *

I was telling my mother how awful this story is and she replied, “And you wondered why I never wanted to read your stories.” Mean mother. Anywho, next time: the final installment of The Tie That Binds! I would say it’s the thrilling conclusion but I would be lying. There is a nice argument though. ^_^

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Tie That Binds, Part Three

The Tie That Binds, Part 3

Last time: Velvet and Paige had a fight because Velvet and Fiona ditched her bitch ass back in town. The parents yelled at Velvet and Fiona took a walk into the mysterious woods and met an even more mysterious man. I wonder what clever plot twist will happen next. The suspense is killing me!

January 2, 1743

“Mourning already,” Paige mumbled half asleep. Then she sat up and noticed it was still dark outside.

* * * * *

She was outside, she didn’t know why. She saw Vivian Danner screaming, standing over the dead bloody body of Adi. Fiona woke up screaming. Then Paige ran into the room.

“Fiona, what’s wrong,” she asked.

“Nothing, just a nightmare,” she said.

“It’s okay Fiona, it’s okay. There’s nothing to be afraid of,” said Paige. “Nothing at all.”

And how wrong she was. [Oooh, foreshadowing.]

* * * * *

When Paige left, Fiona got out of bead and over to her dresser where she kept all of her belongings. Then she noticed something. Her dresser was a mess. And that the only person whos been in there, was Velvet.

* * * * *

It was a little before dawn, but Adi didn’t care. He loved it outside before dawn. He looked up at the sky and noticed some clouds. “Snow clouds,” he mumbled to himself. There was going to be a blizzard, he new it! Better get inside before it starts, he thought.

* * * * *

“One damn clouds, two damn clouds, three damn clouds.” I really am pathetic, she thought, standing out here staring at and counting all the damned clouds. “I better get inside before it snows.” [I think I was starting to run out of ideas.]

* * * * *

Velvet was outside, in the middle of the woods the sun had been up for a while now. It felt as if it wer ten a.m. [Because she’s psychic like that.] “I really should go home now. I’ve been out here for five hourse,” she mumbled to herself. [There’s a lot of mumbling going on in this chapter.] Then she turned around and headed home.

* * * * *

It was ten-thirty wen she got home. Everyone was sitting down to breakfast when she walked into the sitting room. [They have a very late breakfast for a family of farmers.] “Hello every body, I’m home,” she said.

“Velvet, where have you been,” asked mother.

“Out,” was her simple reply.

“Velvet, whould you like some delicious breakfast,” asked Paige. “It is my specialty.” [I’m really wanting to smack Paige. They so need to do meaner things to her.]

“No thank you. I’m going over to the Danners,” said Velvet. Then she turned and left. [What was the point of even going home?]

* * * * *

About an hour and a half later she arrived at Vivan Danners. She knocked on the door lightly. A minute later Vivian opened the door.

“Why, hello Velvet,” she said. “What brings you here?”

“I was just in the nieborhood and felt like dropping by,” said Velvet. [Yes, “in the nieborhood” is an hour and half away.]

“Well com in,” said Vivian.

“Well Vivan,” said Velvet. “How the hell is everything.

“You won’t belive this,” Vivan said, “think mourning I was outside, and I was counting all the damn clouds.”

“How stupid,” Velvet said sarcastically.

* * * * *

Dear Diary,

I really think somethings really wrong with Velvet. She has been acting so weird lately. I don’t know what to do, because, well, you know Velvets a difficult person. She’s scary.

Sincerely yours,

[It seems Fiona actually writes letters to her diary.]

* * * * *

It was very late that night and Paige could here all the sounds Fiona was making in the room next to Paige’s. [Sounds naughty.] She kept screaming over and over again.

Why does she keep screaming Paige thought. [And why does no one else care?] “I’m going over there to find out. I wonder why everybody else can sleep.” [Me, too, Paige. Me, too.]

* * * * *

She was outside running threw the woods. She was so scared. “Where am I? How did I get here,” Fiona murmered out loud. Suddenly she knew where she was. Fiona was in a place her mother had always told her not to come. She remembered one time when she was eight. Her and Velvet were out in the woods. Velvet said she was coming here and that no one could stop her. Fiona never knew if Velvet ever came here or not, but Velvet did come running out of the woods screaming that there was a monster chasing her.

Then she started screaming once she noticed the dead body of her sister Paige.

* * * * *

“Fiona, wake up,” Paige said.

“Paige, what are you doing here,” Fiona asked her.

“You were having a nightmare, Fiona. Just a nightmare,” Paige said.

Then Fiona said “it had better be.

* * * * *

Next time: Vivian counts more clouds, Velvet has a prophetic dream and starts to put her evil plan into motion.

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Tie That Binds, Part Two

Okay, so I said The Dollhouse Murders. I know. I found the book and brought it to my house. I was hardly ever there and never got around to reading it so I brought it to my mother's. My mother swears she saw it somewhere but can't remember where. Fred (father-type-person) said he put it in his box with the shirts I got him for Christmas so crazy cat Splinter wouldn't mess it up. Then took the box to work to show to his friends (I gave him ones that have funny sayings on them) and left said box at work. So I'm screwed right now. And I compensate with more of the titillating tale of the Fostor sisters. Lousy trade, I know. But anyway. . .

Last time Fiona and Velvet left their hated little sister in town and had a picnic. And Paige has just come home and seen. Oooh, I wonder what's going to happen next!

The Tie That Binds, Part Two

“Fiona, I thought you said Paige wasn’t coming on the picknick,” said Jonathan. Velvet was the next to notice Paige staring at them in fury wearing her powder pink laced dress.

“Fiona,“ said Velvet, “Paige is here.”

“What is she doing here, I thought we left her in town,” demanded Fiona. [Like she wouldn‘t come home eventually.]

“I do not know,” said Velvet.

Then Paige came running toward them, screaming “Why did you leave me in town?”, she demanded over and over again. She was really angry. [No shit. I would be, too.] When she got up to them, her face was red. “I know what you two are up to. Just because I am the youngest, [Umm, Paige, Jonathan's the youngest.] and the prettiest, does not mean you can desert me and leave me in town while you guys come home and have a picknick,” yelled Paige. “You two are just jelous.” [They probably are.]

Suddenly Velvet started laughing. She could not help herself. “Jelous,” she screamed still laughing, “of you.” She was still laughing.

Then Paiges look showed more than anger. Paige ran at her at full speed. Then the two girls were tumbling in the dead leaves pulling each others hair, screaming.

* * * * *

“What is going on out there,” said Hesta Foster, her dark green eyes wide with worry.

“I do not know darling” said Edward. “I will go check.”

* * * * *

“Girls, what are you doing,” demanded father.

Fiona watched as her father pulled Paige and Velvet apart. Her mother screaming at them to stop fighting. As Fiona walked off into the woods, the cries of her sisters and mother became softer and softer the father she went. It’s strangely quiet out here, she thought. Things are always strangely quiet in the woods. Once when she was ten, her, Velvet, and Paige used to play hide-and-go-seek in this part of the forest. “Things are so nice and quiet out here,” she mumbled to herself. Then she heard something.

Footsteps! She heard footsteps. Then she knew she wasn’t alone.

* * * * *

“Paige, Velvet, what is the meaning of this,” asked mother.

“Velvet and Fiona left me in town mother,” said Paige.

“Speaking of Fiona, where is she,” said father.

She probably ran away so she wouldn’t get into trouble, thought Paige miserably.

“Velvet. Why did you and Fiona leave Paige in town?”

She is trying to be patient with her, thought Paige. It is impossible--. . . . .

Her thoughts were cut short by Velvet when she jumped up and said, “She is fifteen years old. Me and Fiona do not have to babysit her any more.”

For a minute everybody stood in silence. Then the silence was cracked when Velvet said, “I’m going to my room now.”

“I will go start supper,” Paige volunteered. [Suck up.]

* * * * *

“Who’s there,” Fiona said in a horse whisper. Then the most handsom man she had ever seen stepped out in front of her. “Who are you,” she asked in a voice a little above a whisper.

“My name’s Adi,” he said. “What’s yours?” [Pronounced Uh-dee. Named after “the most handsom guy in school” of course.]

“Mine,” she said.

“Yeah, yourse,” said Adi.

“Umm, I don’t know,” she said wonder what her name was. [My, he must think she’s intelligent.]

“You don’t know your own name,” Adi said.

“I ought to go home now. My, my, my mother doesn’t like me too. . . . uhh. . . . do stuff with strangers. [I’m sure she doesn’t. *wink*] Bye,” she said. She turned around and headed home.

* * * * *

By the time Fiona got back home it was very late. It’s very late, she thought. I’m in trouble. Then she saw a figure in the darkness. “Who’s there,” she said.

“Me,” was the reply.

Fiona recognized the voice at once. It was Velvet. “Hello, Velvet, shouldn’t you be in bed,” Fiona said.

“I’m seventeen. I may do what I please,” Velvet said in a very low voice. “Mother and Father would like to speak to you Fiona.”

“Why,” she asked.

“I’m going outside now. [I’m taking a wild guess and thinking she called into the house where she was going, though it sounded like she was already outside… I don’t know. I’m confused.] Fiona, where were you.”

“I was just on a walk threw the woods,” said Fiona.

“Okay,” came Velvets horse reply. Then she steped outside into the dark night.

* * * * *

“Mother, Father,” said Fiona. “Velvet said you wanted to speak with me.” Then Fiona saw that they were already asleep. They probably were tired of waiting for me, she thought. [What caring parents…] Then she headed down the hall to her own bedroom.

* * * * *

And that’s all for January 1st. It got marginally more interesting. Next time on The Tie That Binds: Diary entries, bad dreams, and Vivian counts the clouds.

By the way, does anyone know how to do strikethough on here?