Terrible Tales of Horror: The Diabolical One

What happened to Any Way the Wind Blows? Well, unfortunately I seem to have misplaced it somewhere. Oh. Darn. But never fear, I don’t believe it’s truly lost, merely it’s somewhere I haven’t thought to look yet. But until I find it I’ll skip ahead and post some mercifully shorter tales featuring bad writing at it’s best.

Today we have The Diabolical One, a heartwarming tale of demonic possession and self-sacrifice, started way way back in 1997. I didn’t get very far with this one, I only wrote the same scene three different times, but I do have nice detailed summary of how the story was supposed to go.

My initial notes:

The Diabolical One

Characters: Laura Carsen, Molly Carsen, Scott Mathews, Kevin Elsworth, Shannon Williams. The Diabolical One: Laura Carsen

Laura: 13 years old. Shoulder length blond hair. Curelean [I sure was fond of that color] blue eyes.

Molly: 15 years old. Short brown hair that went down to her chin. Hazel eyes.

Scott: 15 years old. Brown hair. Light green eyes.

Kevin: 16 years old. Chin length dirty blond hair. Blue eyes.

Shannon: 15 years old. Long red hair that goes down to the small of her back. And brillian jade green eyes.

Laura is out to destroy the entire human race. Laura and Molly are sisters. Scott is Molly’s boyfriend. Laura likes Scott. Shannon is Molly’s best friend. Kevin hangs out with them. Laura is a vamparic creature, but not really, she’s not really a vampire. She feeds off human flesh, not blood. [So she’s a zombie? I wrote a zombie story? Awesome!] She is a demon and is not to be trusted.

First Draft:

Prologue

Laura Carsen made her way down the winding, twisting path made of stone that went several miles down below the serface, in silence.

It felt like a dream to sweet Laura. Everythign looked fuzzy, as if she were dreaming. But she supposed it was just the lack of oxygen.

“Why did I agree to this,” Sweet Laura [What’s with all this Sweet Laura crap?] murmered into the wind, pushing a strand of her shoulder-length platinum blond hair out of her porceline face. I wish Molly and Shannon were here, she found herself thinking.

“And Scott,” she added out loud. Especially Scott. Scot was bad. Not like all the other losers she knew. Laura could see what Molly saw in him.

Laura was a beautiful girl with as sweet personality, [She can't be that sweet if she likes her sister's boyfriend because he's "bad."] like her nickname said. Sweet Laura. Scot thad given her the nickname. Scott Anthony Mathews, her older sister’s boyfriend.

He’s only two years older than me, Laura thought. Sweet Laura herself was 13.

Why am I doing this? Why am I going into a freeky old cave which no one’s been in for twenty years, if that story is even true.

The counseler of their cabin--Carol--told them--Genine, Cater [Got that name out of an SVH book], Melanie--a story the night before.

It was about a girl named Crystal who went down to the caves 19 years earlier on a dare. No one knew what happened. The girls who were waiting at the top of the path into the cave said they didn’t here a scream, she just disappeared, into thin air, they said.

But now it was Sweet Laura’s turn. Sweet, sweet Laura, who made her way to the bottom of the path where vines reached down from the opening, as if they were waiting for the next poor unsuspecting child to walk in and become nothingness.

Well their not gonna get me.

Laura grabbed on fiercely to a section of the vines and pulled it down. “There.”

Laura walked in with her hands on her hips. “What a dump,” she murmered.

There was a rather large hold in the middle of the ground. Bones and skeletons all over the place. Bloodstains on the ground. [And she’s not running back the way she came? Moron! You deserve all the bad things that happen to you.]

Laura jerked her head up. What was that? She thought she saw something move in the corner. Carefully, she walked over, wary not to step in anything she’d regret. “Is anybody there? Genine? Is that you?”

Laura. Sweet Laura.

Her last thought in her moment of sanity. No. It can’t be. . .

* * * * *

Part One

Chapter One

Four Weeks Later

Shannon Williams and Molly Carsen sat in the Carsen’s driveway waiting for Molly’s mother to come back with Laura.

“So why’s Sweet Laura coming back from camp early?” Shannon asked.

Molly shrugged. “I don’t know. Mom said something about her being sick and not participating in activities, or some shit like that.”

“Sweet.”

Molly layed back and hit her head on the pavement. “Ow!”

“Well you should’ve been more gentle.” She patted the driveway. “this ain’t a mattress, you know.” [I think I liked Laura better.]

“I know. I hate being such a clutz. It’s just that Molly’s such a clutzy name.”

“I like it.”

“You would. Why can’t I have a pretty name like yours, or Laura’s.” [Well I guess you can tell how I felt about the name Molly.]

“What’s so good about Shannon? It’s normal. I know six other Shannon’s, I only know one Molly.” [The only Molly I’ve ever known was a ferret.]

“Yeah, but all the Shannon’s you know are pretty, you’re pretty. I’m just a plain jane.”

It was true, after all.

Molly had short, thick medium brown hair she wore down to her chin, dark ollive skin and almond shaped brown eyes, a complete opposite of Laura’s looks. Molly was also very short, being 15 and five foot two.

Shannon was five foot six, with long cherry red hair that went down to the middle of her back that went nicely with her catlike emerald green eyes.

Shannon looked at Molly strangely and layed down too.

“that cloud over there looks like. . . .” Molly trailed off giggling.

Shannon looked over. “I don’t see anything but a puffy white cloud.”

"Of course you wouldn’t see it, Shannon. You’re still a virgin.” [Burn.]

* * * * *

Scott Mathews sat in the passenger seat while his cousin, Kevin Elsworth drove.

“I know this girl who would be perfect for you. Now before you say anything, Kevy, I wnt you to know she’s very nice, and very beautiful, and I know you two will get along great.” [Scott already sounds like a douche.]

“If she’s so wonderful, why aren’t you with her?”

“I got’s me my Molly,” he shrugged. [Are they supposed to be southern hicks or something? Let‘s go with it. Southern zombies!!! w00t!] “And besides, Shannon’s still mad at me for nearly running her over when I was driving my Dad’s truck.”

“She she has a name, Shannon. Do I have anything in common with Shannon?”

“Yeah Molly says since you’re a Pisces, and she’s a Scorpio, you two like the water, and we live by a lake, if you know what I mean?” [I hope Kevy does, cause I sure don’t.]

“Well, no. Your parents died three months ago, hers di9ed three yeas ago. Both in plain crashes.”
[End of draft one. Not too terrible. The beginning was okay minus the Sweet Laura crap. Let’s see what came next.]

Second Draft:

Prologue - July

Laura Carsen walked down the curving vine covered walkway to the Diabolical One’s lair with care. She didn’t want to be the next sacrifice to the demon. She didn’t’ deserve that. No one deserved that. Except maybe Molly. It was her sister’s fault that Laura was there. [Thank God I dropped the Sweet Laura. But for some reason Laura now seems to hate Molly. *shrug*]

Why did I agree to this?, Laura thought. Two weeks before, Janeen Nelson had gone down to The Diabolical One’s [TM] lair. When she had come back, she was different. Evil almost. But she died before they could know what had happened to her down in the lair. And now Laura was praying to God that she would never find out.

I’m only 13, she thought. I don’t need this.

Holding a glowing torch in her hand she quietly moved downward till she saw some strange markings on the wall.

“What the hell?” Laura muttered.

They were of some kind of beast. He had claws for hands, horns for ears. He was large and hair and had some kind of blackish vapor around him.

[Something like this guy.]


“Weird.” Forgetting the drawing, Laura continued. Several minutes later, Laura made her way to an opening in the wall. Stepping inside, Laura looked around. Raising the torch, Laura screamed.

Inside the opening was a horror beyond belief. Laura with her white blond hair pulled up in a ponytail so tight, her big cerelean blue eyes raging wide with terror, Laura dropped the torch.

Hush, hush, sweet, sweet, Laura. [The sweet reared it’s ugly head after all.]

* * * * *

Chapter One - August

“So when’s Laura getting here,” Shannon Williams asked her best friend Molly Carsen.

“Today. Sometime.” Molly shrugged.

Shannon layed back on the asphault and sighed. She’d be getting her liscense in a few months, and she couldn’t wait. No more of her father [Guess she’s not an orphan anymore?] driving with her, telling her to do this, and to do that. Goodbye drivers permit.

“Shannon,” Molly started in a pitiful voice. “Do you think your father loves you?”

Oh no, Shannon thought. Molly was playing the “nobody loves me” game. “Why do you ask, Moll?”

“Simple. My parents love Laura more then they love me.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Why do I think that? Gee, I don’t know, Shannon,” Molly said sarcastically. “But it couldn’t possibly be my loosk could it?” she said with an emphases on the word possibly. [Can Molly be anymore melodramatic? I’m beginning to think this was the first draft.]

Shannon knew that Molly’s looks weren’t on the gorgeous side, and that Molly thought her parents were disappointed that she was no beauty. Not like Laura.

Laura was perfect. Her beautifully silk like blond hair. Her eyes were that beautiful cerelean blue that was seldom ever found except in babies. She was an honor roll student, and was very popular in Jr. High. And when she went into High school the next year, Shannon suspected she would be equally liked.

But Molly was the opposite. She had muddy brown hair that had no shine. Her eyes were a dull brown. Her skin was fair, unlike Laura’s tanned, and she almost always had a sunburn. Molly’s hair was cropped short, unlike Laura’s long, silky, locks. It was truly sad.

“But I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Shannon. You’ve never had that problem. Your parents love you. You’re gorgeous. You’re an only child. You’re so damn lucky it makes me sick.” [Shut the fuck up Molly. No wonder your parents don’t like you.]

By now, Shannon had learned to deal with molly bys imply agreeing with her. “Yes. You’re absolutely right.” But she couldn’t say Molly was completely wrong. Shannon didn’t consider herself “gorgeous.” [Most pretty girls don’t. Thus ends our first draft which was masquerading as the second. I feel misled. That was horrible. On to the next.]

Third Draft:

Chapter 1 - A Sweet Summer’s Night [This title would later be reused on one of the Dear Sister rewrite’s. I’m just so original!]

Laura Carpenter [No longer Carsen, I see.] crept silently down the narrowing stone walkway. It was only a dare, nothing should happen to her. It was a sweet summer night, the kind that penetrates into the soul. But never was there a souless existed it could penetrate into itself in the way of the twisted shadows that crept upon Laura’s back. [What. The. Hell. Was I drunk when I wrote this?]

“Laura,” it said. “Sweet sad Laura. Won’t you come and join me, darling? Will ya, honey? Please?” Laura heard it, yes she did. But for a long time afterwards, she pretended it never existed. Much like It pretended to Laura that she had ventured down into the unknown abyss.

“Laura,” It cooed.

“No! Stay away from me!” she screamed. It heard her, yes It did. But could a creature that never was to anybody but itself hear anything at all?

Laura ran, she ran as fast as her long legs could take her. Out of the cave. Out of the woods. Into her cabin and grabbed her notebook. Laura suddenly knew. She was just like Coryleen. But no. she couldn’t be.

Laura stood up. Why should she be afraid of a mystery? She had always loved to be involved in a conspiracy.

[And that’s where I left off. That one was kind of interesting. And now for the detailed summary I wrote in eighth grade.]

The Diabolical One

Main Characters; Shannon Williams, molly Carsen, Laura Carsen, Scott Mathews, Kevin Elsworth.

It beings in the summer before school starts at the summer camp Laura’s at. The girls in her bunk are telling ghost stories. Two of the girls are talking about the Evil One’s Lair, which is in a cave in the woods. Their saying how they found it but didn’t go in. Laura’s telling them their cowards, and they dare her to go in. she does, and when she doesn’t come out after a hwile, they get scared and run away. Laura has fallen into the Evil One’s Lair and It comes inside her and posesses her. Not a piece of it, but all of it. Laura does come back, but she’s not the same Laura who went into the Lair.

Meanwhile in the town, Scott come to town. Kevin [I got Kevin and Scott mixed up when I wrote this. They were just that unmemorable.] decides to set him up with his girlfriend Molly’s best friend Shannon. He thinks they have a lot in common. Scott’s parents died three months earlier in a plane crash and Shannon’s died the same way there years earlier. [Because sharing your grief over your parents death is the healthiest foundation for a relationship.] They go on a double date and Scott and Shannon hit it off. Scott is 16. Kevin, Molly and Shannon are 15. Laura is 13. Scott has dirty blond hair he wears down to his chin, and grey eyes. [By complete coincidence, my first boyfriend ended up looking exactly how I pictured Scott.] Kevin has short brown hair and brown eyes. Molly and Laura do not look anything alike. Laura has long honey blond hair and bright blues eyes. There is something in Shannon’s facial features that is similar. [You know where this is going. If you don’t, you haven’t been paying enough attention. If it’s not completely convoluted, I probably plagiarized it.] One night after they start dating, Shannon and Scott go skinny dipping in the lake and wind up making love under a tree on the shore.

When Laura comes back, she obviously not the same girl who left. Molly and her parents are worried about her and take her to the doctor. He finds nothing wrong with her [Demonic possession doesn’t show up on CT scans, btw.] They take her home. One by one, skinless bodies of people are turning up, and Molly notices that Laura disappears every night. So she decides to follow her. Laura meets her best friend and some boy Molly’s never seen before, but looks to be around Laura’s age. She continues to follow them and sees that they are the killers. Upset about what she’s seen, [mostly about them eating the flesh off the bodies, I’m assuming.] Molly runs to Scott and Kevin’s. By this time, half the people in town had left. Molly’s parents want to leave. Kevin and Scott take her home and Molly’s parents are packing up. They heard about her latest murder and they’re yelling at her for being out of the house that late at night and where’s Laura. Molly convinces them to go to West Virginia [they are southern!] without her and that her and Laura would go with them when Molly found Laura. Molly begs them to go and they eventually relent and go. [What kind of parents would leave? Really?]

The trio then goes over to Shannons and get her out of there [Who does she live with anyway? Her parents are dead.] and they go to an abandoned hotel to the top floor and lock all the doors and they make it so the elevaters break down and lock the emergency stairway. They talk about what Molly saw and the two boys say kill her. Molly screams no and Shannon says it sounds like Laura’s possessed [as opposed to just being a zombie.] Scott and Kevin start making jokes about the exorcist. [You can always count on teenage boys to truly be themselves amidst desperation and tragedy.] Shannon’s saying it probably happened at the camp since she was sent home early. They decide they need to go there and investigate. Since Scott’s 16, he has his liscense and can drive. They drive out there and find Genine, one of the girls who dared Laura. After yelling at her for a while, she breaks down and tells them what happened.

They go down there and find skeletons. They go back--it’s been a two day journey--and find the town a ghost town. They go back to the hotel and they decide they have to kill Laura. They go out and break into a gun shop against the girls protests and steal two shotguns, and go back to the hotel. They decide they will hunt for Laura the next day.

Molly sneaks out that night and tries to find Laura. She thinks he can somehow talk to her sister and get Laura to fight the demon inside here. Molly makes a noise as she leaves which wakes up Shanon, who doesn’t go investigate until the noise stops--she’d always been a light sleeper--thinks about what Molly said about Laura having a doctors appointment. One with her aunt, who was a doctor. She wonders if her aunt found anything wrong with Laura, so she breaks into the hospital. Once in, she looks out the window and sees Laura’s best friend chasing some guy doesn’t the street. She suddenly thinks of vampires and owners if Laura is some sort of one, and goes down to the morgue. She takes the droors out and put a little crucifix on each of the skinless ones. She then goes to her aunts computer and looks up Laura Carsen. Her aunt had said Laura was quiet and withdrawn, unusually pale considering that she’d spent a whole month at camp. But the most interesting part was her blood type; AB-. Molly’s blood type was O+. Shannon double checks. Then checks Molly and Laura’s parents blood types; A- and B-. she then checks her own parents; A+, O+. Shannon’s own was AB-. Shannon and Molly were born on the same day in the same hospital. Both delivered by the same doctor. She then realizes that her and Molly were switched at birth. [I was real into this plot contrivance.] But before she went to the hospital, she went to her favorite new age store to look up demonic possession. She found the certain think about Laura and they were sort of vampire. But they didn’t rise from the dead after their skin had been torn off and eaten. They have to drive the spirit into a sibling of the possessed one and kill that person to close the door to their soul. Anyway, someone had to die.

Meanwhile Molly does find Laura, but Laura attacks her and tries to eat her. Kevin wakes up and sees that Molly’s gone, wakes up Scott and Shannon’s gone. They get their shotguns and go look for the girls. Kevin sees Molly and Laura and shoots at Laura, which doesn’t hit her, and she runs away. They go over to Molly and help her up. Laura had taken a bite out of her arm and Kevin takes his shirt off and ties it around her arm and they go look for Shannon. They find her coming from the hospital a little dazed. They ask her what she was doing. And then start yelling at her for going wherever she did by herself. Then she says she knows how to save Laura and Molly asks her how. She tells her and Kevin says no Let’s kill the bitch. Molly ain’t dying for her. And Shannon agrees. Then Molly says she wouldn’t mind dying for Laura. And Shannon tells her it wouldn’t do any good. Molly asks why and Shannon says because Molly’s not Laura’s sister. And then explains about the blood types and that her and Molly were switched at birth. If anybody was ogi9nt o save Laura, it would have to be Shannon. Scott says hell no, but Shannon looks over to the horizon and the sunrise. Afterwards they go back to the hotel. Each have nightmares and Shannon wakes up and leaves. She thinks she doesn’t have as much to live for as Laura. The people she had grown up with as her parents were dead. The woman she had grown up with as her aunt was dead. Even though she loved Scott, she knew she could never live peacefully knowing she had the power to save Laura. [So she’s going to martyr herself.] She finds Laura bout the time Kevin, Scott and Molly wake up and go look for her.

Her and Laura have a battle of wills in a house where Shannon had found some cleaning chemicals and is going to drink them. She has her mind made up. Scott, Kevin, and Molly find Laura and Shannon fighting and try to break them apart. When the change occurs and Shannon breaks out of Scott’s grasp and runs into the house where she drinks the poison and kills herself. Outside Laura collapses and starts crying. Scott runs in after Shannon and gets the just in time to catch her as she falls into her arms, Dead. [So dramatic.] They are like vampires as when the original dies, they go back to normal as well. Scott sits in the kitchen holding Shannon, until Kevin, Molly, and Laura come inside. They bury her under the tree where she and Scott made love and they engrave her name, birth and death, and a little sentiment and have e little funeral. It ends with Kevin with her arm around Molly with her arms around Laura and Scott a little to the side, they walk into the East.

[I can totally see this as a zombie movie. It’s got sex, zombies, and melodrama melodrama melodrama! Let’s leave off with a snapshot from Kevin (formerly Scott) and Molly’s wedding.]

An Amusing Passage

I was going through some of my older stories and I stumbled upon one I started writing when I was fifteen called First Love, True Lies. It's actually a kind of funny romance (a far cry from what I usually write, yes), about a girl who keeps falling for guys too old for her and lying about her age. It was pretty funny actually and I'd really like to go back and finish it someday, but I was reading over it and a certain part caught my eye.

Keep in mind, I wrote this in 1999.

“I've finally figured it out, Kim,” she was saying as I searched my locker for my finished Economics homework.

“What?” I muttered absentmindedly, digging through the growing pile of papers in the bottom of the locker.

“Today's fashion,” she went on. “What they don't want you to know.”

“Discovered another conspiracy, Bethie?” I asked. There was my math homework. So the economics stuff had to be somewhere close by.

“Exactly. A few years ago those baggy pants hanging down your ass was the biggest thing ever. But the school boards outlawed them.”

I could see it! There was a piece of the damn paper hanging out way up from the tip top shelf. If I could just reach it...

Dean must've stuck it up there, I thought. Dean was the best friend of my locker partner and loved to make my life miserable. I fixed my feet on the bottom inside of the locker and tried for the paper.

“So then the fashion people didn't know what to do. Here they had all these years worth of baggy pants to sell but their prime market couldn't wear them to school. They were in deep shit. So they came up with the bright idea to just recycle fashion from the sixties, and they'll keep going till they get back to the nineties and start again.”

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” Just one inch further. “I got it!” I squealed, just as I slipped and hurled back onto the cold cold floor. My English book and stacks and stacks of papers poring out on top of me.

“But I got it,” I said proudly holding the paper towards her, noticing that it had torn and a large chunk of it was sitting caught in the hinge. “Dammit.”

“Were you even listening to me?” she moaned.

I noticed the stares now and decided to get up. “Will you help me stick my stuff back in there.”

“You are truly hopeless, you know that?”

“You keep telling me. It oughtta stick someday.”

“So,” I went on as we piled the papers back into the locker. “If they keep recycling styles and get to the eighties,does that mean guys will dress in tight leather pants and have hair a mile high?”

“I'd like to see Jake like that,” Beth giggled.

“I can see Marty and Dean dressed like that.”

“Hairspray.”

“Heals.” We both giggled like mad at the last one.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Guess Beth was right. :p

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 4: Beware: Rape scene

This story is making less and less sense as I go! :p

Chapter 4: Scavenger Hunt

Sarah’s eleventh birthday approached quickly. It was held on April 14, 1978. [My dad died on April 14. Why I thought it would be an appropriate birthday I have no idea.] It was fun. [Not really. Kelly's a liar.] Sarah and I had become friends with Elsie MacNicols.

What Sarah had said had been true. Elsie’s father, Troy, and Angela’s mother, Sheila, had gotten married.

And now Sarah was eleven, and I was still ten. [She can do math!] But I would be eleven in two months. I have no idea why but Sarah invited Xena, Mara, and Kyle. I think in her own twisted little way, Sarah was making their lives miserable. [Because that makes perfect sense.] I couldn’t blame her.

But when Sarah’s mother announced the scavenger hunt. Things got strange.

“Now, children,” Julie Plummer [Wasn’t it Fear?] began, “we’re going to have lot’s of fun having a scavenger hunt.” All the kids there were. “I have decided that you will work in pairs. And I’ve made a list of who those pairs are.” She cleared her throat. [This woman runs a modeling agency…] “Pair #1; Sarah and Jimmy. “air #2; Elsie and Derika. #3; Hanna and Frank. #4; Xena and Mara. #5; Laura and Angela. #6; Kelly and Kyle.”

What? I thought. Why did I have to get stuck with him? What did I ever do? Why did I deserve this? [Well, for one, you bit Xena’s wrist and licked her blood.]

I felt someone’s eyes on my back, so I turned around. “I guess we’re partners, Trailor Trash.” It was Kyle.

“Don’t call me Trailor Trash, Kyle,” I said.

“Since when do you get up telling me what to do?”

“You used a double negative.” [No he didn’t.]

“Shut up, Kelly.” [Please]

I wondered why I respected him. [how long this crap? …I’m only on page 29!!! This things over 100 pages.]

*****

We had a strange list I think; but it wasn’t really even a list at all. It was clues. Our first clue was “Where they part and return together, is where you’ll find me.”

“What do you think it means?” I asked Kyle, although I didn’t think he had the slightest clue. Well, neither did I.

“I think it means the river.” [Yeah, that’s totally what I get from that…]

The river, I thought. I should have known. Kyle was smarter than I thought. It was a screwed up world. “All right. We’ll go to the Conononka River.”

And we walked three whole miles north, to where the river was. [Because a mom would totally set up a scavenger hunt in that wide of an area for ten-year-olds. Well, Julie isn't exactly the brightest crayon int he box.] We got to where it broke apart and walked up to where it went back together. [I have the Fear Street map somewhere, and because I'm annoyingly anal every event took place on a chosen spot of the map.] “Well, what do we do?” Kyle was a very impatient guy, and he was getting on my nerves.

“Shut up,” I said.

“Don’t you talk to me that way, Kelika Coffield.”

“You know my real name.” I murmered. And he just stared at me. Surprised.

“It came to me in a dream,” he said. Then it hit me. I knew what he was. He was what my kind [What is your kind, anyway? You seem to be one of a kind.] called a sensitive. [terminology from the Last Vampire!] That doesn’t mean he has sensitive feelings, it means he has something of a radar system.

I sat down on the rail of the bridge that went across the river. “Tell me about the dream.”

“Why?”

“I want to hear it.”

“Why?”

“I need to know.”

“Know what?”

“Just stuff.” I looked up at the sky. “Now what the fuck was your dream about?” I was getting pissed off.

“I don’t want to tell you.” He couldn’t even look me in the eye as he said that. And I knew at once the dream was profane. [Prepubescent wet dreams! You know you're excited now!] And I thought, Kyle Bradley had an erotic dream about me. It struck me as funny, so I started laughing. “Shut up, Kelly!”

“How old were we?” I was getting really interested.

“Teenagers,” he mumbled. This was getting interesting. Then he started walking. I followed.

“Hey, Kyle, where ya going.”

“If Kelika is your real name, maybe that cemetary is real.”

Cemetary? What cemetery? The only cemetery I knew of was the one down the street from my house. “What do you mean?” I asked as I caught up with him.

“If it’s there, you’ll find out.”

*****

Kyle and I walked the four miles to the spot, [Scavenger hunt has been completely forgotten. And considering how long it must’ve taken them to walk seven miles the party’s probably over and people are probably looking for them. Kyle, anyway.] Kyle was right. It was there. It was old and was littered with weeks. But you could make out the rocks with little words inscribed in them. One in particular drew my attention, and I knew as I walked over there that that was the place where we had had sex in Kyle’s dream. [In the cemetery? Sick!]

I neeled down and looked at the little inscription. It was small and tiney, inscribed in it was the name of a person.

Here Lies
STARLA
?-1882
BELOVED GODDESS

It was a strange inscription. “Let me guess what it says,” Kyle said. “Here lies Starla. 1882. Beloved Goddess.”

I looked at him. “How did you know that.”

He walked up and sat next tot me. “It was in my dream.”

“It must have been one helluva dream.”

He stared at the ground. “It sure was.”

I think Kyle and I made a true connection right then. One that never left us for the rest of our lives. Even after I died, we had a connection. [So she’s writing this from beyond the grave? mmkay.] “You know what I am, don’t you?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” Kyle turned and looked at me. “Kelly,” he looked back at the gravestone, “I’m not exactly sure what you are, [I don’t even think I knew.] but I know that you’re not human. I also know about your soul.”

I looked at him, and at that moment I think I fell partially in love with him, and I realized one day that we will be together. [This is the part where you’re supposed to go “Awww” because it was supposed to be romantic. Yeah.] “Do you know Fat Freddy?” Yet another thing I say that came out of the blue.

“Sure as hell do,” he said.

“Life sucks.”

“Only yours.”

I turned to look at him. Kyle was my equal. [Please enlighten me] “What do you mean?”

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You should really pay more attention to your dreams, Kelika.” And he was gone. [So she started out the day as “Trailor Trash,” and now she’s getting sweet little kisses? Well, this story was my fantasy.]
Maybe I should, I thought. But why? How on earth could I I learn any more than I already have. [What the hell is she talking about? I think Kelly's got a few psychological disorders going on and this is all actually taking place in her head, as she's been locked up in a mental insitute since the day she got the magic ring from Mars.]

*****

That night when I had my dream, I took Kyle’s advice and paid more attention to my dreams.

I was seeing this as a whole, and through the view of a young woman. She was very pretty. The woman had long platinum blond hair, and a very fair complexion.

“Starla,” a deep voice said. Starla looked up at him. She looked about sixteen or seventeen and had my eyes. For some reason that frightened me. “I” looked up at him. The guy looked like Kratine. [And when did you ever SEE Kratine?] No, he was Kratine.

“Yes, Kratine.”

“You have been a naughty little girl.”

“Yes, I know.” I could tell Starla did not want to be there. There? Where was there? What the hell was I talking about. MARS!

I was on the planet Mars. In my first life. No, it was not in my first life. If it was, it would not have been earlier than the nineteenth century. [WTF?]

I was screwed. [This seems to be a recuring theme.]

“Now, Starla,” Kratine began, “we both know you’ve been bad, so you don’t have to hide it any more.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But, do you know what I do to bad little girls?”

“No.”

“I hurt them.”

“How?” I was afraid to know.

“How old are you Starla?”

“32 cycles.”

“Why, your still very young.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Have you conceived yet?” [I think I had conceived mixed up with consummated.]

“No.”

“Then that’s how.”

“No!” [Here comes the rape scene...]

But it was too late. Over the minutes the two were talking, I went into Starla’s memories, and found out what she had done. Starla had left Mars to see how her planet was, and without asking. [And why did the bitch come back? She's a fucking moron.]

Starla was from a solar system very similar to that of ours, but very far away. Her own sun was much smaller, her planet was too, and it traveled around the sun in half the time of 9ours. A year to them, was sis months to us. As Starla was 32 cycles, she was 16 years. [Everybody getting this? There will be a quiz.]

During this time, Kratine grabbed Starla by her hair and dragged her down to a canal. A canal on Mars?

And there were ruins of a what seemed to be an ancient civilization. Scientists did say that Mars could hold life up till about a million years ago. [According to the Season of Passage, anyway.]

And then I saw it. The ring. My ring! The one aunt Laurella gave to me, what had she said when she gave it to me?

“It’s from Mars. It’s a party of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s more to it than what meets the eye.”
What the hell did aunt Laurella mean?

Kratine threw Starla on the ground. Hard. “Now we’re gonna hve fun.” that worried me.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

[I’m going to omit this part as it is….disturbing. Extremely disturbing considering I wrote it. When I was twelve. But basically Kratine rapes her, he has a forked tongue and I described his penis as being “as long as a baby python. Ball python, that is. But five times rounder.” *resists urge to burn pages* It got too gross for even Kelly to narrate.]

I will not gross you out with the rest of this disgusting pool of lust, but I will tell you what happened after it.

Starla left the chamber of horrors wearing some of Kratine’s metallic clothing. For, she no longer had any of her own.

Starla borded her shuttle named CANDACE, after her sister. Aboard it, it was amazing. They had all these controls, it looked like a modern day Nintendo game. [And she was having this dream in 1978.]

I was looking around. There was one bedroom and of course, it belonged to Starla. And there was also this little cow bathroom. [oh my god! Cow bathroom! The Maxx references continue! Mr. Gone (the serial killer rapist villain in the Maxx) had a cow bathroom.] On her planet cows were a rare treat. I liked the cow bathroom.


Starla got in the CANDACE, and left for Earth. [When did this turn into a crappy scifi story?]

*****

Since the CANDACE was a very faast moving shuttle, Starla got to Earth in a matter of hours.

Since she knew that Earthlings were primative and stupid, she made the CANDACE land into a lake. [Why wouldn’t she?]

But before it crashed, she jumped off and landed on the ground in a maze of trees. [yeah…okay…]

Starla went wander around in the trees that surrounded the lake for days. There seemed to be no end to them.

Finally, about a week later, Starla managed to find a house. It was small, and Starla could tell it sat apart from the rest of the village. [That would be kind of obvious, don’tcha think?] The perfect place for Starla to hide. She was still afraid that Kratine might find her. And hurt her. But that was silly of her. [Seems like a legit fear to me since he, you know, raped her.] Kratine couldn’t come to Earth. He was forbidden to.

But how? When? Starla knew that Kratine had been around at the beginning of mankind on Earth. Something had happened to destroy his planet. What people now call Mars.

But what really got Starla was that Kratine said Starla had something to do with.

But that was impossible. She was 32 cycles old. Mars was destroyed over a few million cycles ago. Way before she was born.

Starla bravely walked up to the cabin and knocked quite softly. At first, the person inside did not seem to hear her. But as she was about to knock again, the person answered.

She was kind of short, and had long blond hair. She looked shocked to see Starla. Of course, this was Earth.

I, Kelika Coffield, saw that Starla had my abilities, and that the girls name was Kara. She was young and in her first life. That meant she wasn’t all that brite. But surprise, surprise.

“My God,” she said. “What are you?”

“I’m a friend, Cara.” [Could never be consistent with names.]

“How do you know my name?”

“May I come in?”

“As long as you don’t hurt me.”

“Of course.” Starla walked into the cabin and looked around. It was small, but comfortable. But Kara looked petrified. “You don’t need to be afraid of me, Kara. I’m a friend. I care.”

[I wonder what Starla actually looks like. As there is yet to be a physical description aside from Kratine’s penis.]

“You didn’t answer me. How do you know my name?”

A slight shadow crossed Starla’s face. Then it disappeared. “Do you have any clothes that I may be in use to wear?”

“Yes.” She slowly walked over to Starla. “If I give them to you, will you tell me what you are?”

“Yes.”

Starla got the clothes on and sat down in the sitting room next to Kara. “Do you really want to know what I am?”

“Yes.”

“I am a goddess. I am your goddess.” [That line’s lifted from something Christopher Pike, but I can’t remember which one.]

“Oh.”

The two of them became friends over time. The best of friend. And all through those five years she had never seen Kratine again. [So two adult women lived alone in a cabin for five years during the end of the nineteenth century, huh. Let’s say there was some lesbian action going on. Makes this story more interesting.]

But then one day, Starla was struck with a terminal illness, and she slowly began to whither away. But not completely. Not her soul.

“I can’t see you go like this,” Kara said to Starla. “Why does your end have to come this way.

“It’s not my end.”

“What do you mean, Starla?”

Quickly, Starla told Cara about her life. “That’s why I came to Earth.” Starla concluded.

“My God.” Kara seemed so caring, so worried. It almost made me want to cry.

“Yes, maybe,” Starla felt herself fading away. [Was that supposed to be a clever quip?]

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Yes.” And I knew I would. I always did see my friends again.

*****

I woke up with a start. The dream frightened me. No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. A memory that never dies. [how poetic…] A member that sticks with you for the rest of your life. I hated it.

I went into my dresser drawer and got my diary.

This is what my room looked like.

[Alas, you shall not see my crappy drawings because I am too lazy to hook my scanner up.]

Quickly, I jotted down the dream of mine that you just read.

It struck me as funny that Kratine was real when all this time I just thought he was a hullucination of my inner subconscious. [And because you had a dream you were an alien and he raped you he’s suddenly real?]

Like I have thought and said many times, past, present, and future;

I was screwed.

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 3

Chapter Three - Fifth Grade

[Moving right along...]

The day that Elsie MacNicols walked intyo my life was a day that I'll never forget.

"Class, we have a new student today. Her name is Elsie MacNicols," My teacher, Ms. Crenshaw [Ms. Crenshaw was a teacher at my elementary school whom I was never a student of.], told us. Then she went over to the black board and wrote:

WELCOME ELSY MCNICHOLES.

Then Elsie walked in and I read her mind. I don't know why I read her mind that moment, I just did. [Since when have you been able to read minds? What the hell is this girl?]

The old bat doesn't even know how to spell my name, Elsie thought. I almost instantly felt sorry for her. So I raised my hand.

"Yes, Ms. Coffield," said Ms. Crenshaw.

"Are you sure that that's how you spell Elsie's name? It just doesn't look right?"

"It is the right spelling. Right Elsie."

"Actually, it is the wrong spelling. In Elsie, it's not spelled with a y, it's ie. And in McNicholes, ther is an a in between the M and C, and there is no h or e." Then Elsie sat down in the only empy seat avalable. Next to me. On the next page you'll see how the classroom was set up. The town was small, so there were only 20 people in the class.

[Actually you won't be seeing the crappy class diagram because my scanner is still not hooked up but it only serves to show you that Kell Bell's in the back corner between Elsie and that dreamy sexpot Kyle *swoon* with her friends Sarah and Jimmy sitting in front of them.]

That was the way we were set up. I had to sit next to Kyle. He was an ass hole. But a cute ass hole.

"OK, class," ms. Crenshaw said. "We're going to play question."

We all groaned except Elsie. We all hated this damn game. Ms. Crenshaw would ask a question, and whoever answered it would get to sk another question.

"Alright class, today is December 7, 1977, on this day, 26 year ago, what happened.

Kyle quickly raised his hand.

"Yes, Kyle."

"It was the bombing of Pearl Harbor." [Gee, I wonder what I was learning about in school... This is what I used my spotty education for.]

"That'is correct. What is your question."

"Is Kelly Coffield a virgin?"

The whole class abrupted (?) in laughter as the color drained from my face. How dare that no class peice of shit say that about me. I looked around the classroom and saw that Sarah, Laura, and Elsie were not laughing, my loyal friend and sister. And Elsie was new. How would she know what was going on.

[Thoughts going through Elsie's head: I wonder who else's virginity is in question. *bats eyes at Kyle*]

Then Xena raised her hand, the Bitch. [With a capitol B!] "I know the answer."

"Yes, Xena," Kyle said smugly.

"No. The answer is now."

[And Ms. Crenshaw's just letting this happen....]

"And why do you say that, Xena?"

"Because," she said flipping her long blond hair behind her shoulders. "There is no way in hell that kelly Coffield, of the slutty, sleazy, no good Coffield family, could be a virgin. Sluttiness is in the whore's genes." [Don't you just love kid logic. I remember my best friend when I was a kid telling me that the guy I was crushing on had sex with his mother...Just because. Except we couldn't say sex without giggling so we had 100 euphenisms for it.] She smiled smugly as half the class clapped for her.

"Well said, Xena," Kyle said. "That was well said."

I looked over at Ms. Crenshaw, she had her head in her hands. [I have my had in my hands. I'm the one who actually wrote this crap.] The woman had finally given up on this class."

And then Xena stood up and said "but the real question is, who did she do?"

The class with the exception of Sarah, Laura, and Elsie started laughing again, then Mara Suchlensky stood up. "I bet it was Kyle Bradly," Mara said.

Then Kyle stood up. "Now I would not do Trailor Trash (TM) like that," he said pointing to me. [She's sure being complacent among all these accusations for a girl who bit and drank the blood of a girl who took her crappy ring.]

Then my sweet little sister , stood up. "My sister is not Trailor Trash (TM)," she said, and put her hands on her hips.

"Class," Ms. Crenshaw yelled. "Hush up!"

They all just kept talking so i di the usual and got out. Sarah followed for the first time. [Ah, so the atrocity of a class is a common occurence, I guess?]

"I don't understand how the can constantly make fun of you like that, Kell Bell."

I looked over at her. "I don't understand how we're still friends." [Neither can I. Kelly's a total bitch to her.]

She looked over at me. "I understand."

"How?" I asked.

"We understand each other."

"I may understand you, but do you understand me?"

Sarah looked at me questionally. "OK, so maybe I don't understand you." I laughed. "But I still understand you better than everybody else."

"that's true."

"why don't you flaunt your beauty?" [An odd question for a ten-year-old.]

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kelly, you're gorgeous, why not show the world that you're not Trailor Trash (TM)."

"I don't know." I looked at her. and I saw my friends poorly conceled jelousy. "Why, are you jelouse?" I said.

She started laughing nervously. "I'm not jelous. Why would I be jelous of you!" She started laughing at it. Laughing like a maniac. I thought she was gonna go nuts.

I looked back over at the school. "Sarah shut up," I said.

"Why," she had shut up, but she still had that curious face on her face. [If only Stephanie Meyer could write like this...]

"What do you think about the new girl Sarah."

"Well, Kell Bell," she said as we walked up to me. "I heard from my mother that hr father and Angela Goode's mother, are getting married and moving next door to Jimmy."

"Good, God," I mumbled. The Goodes living right next door to one of my dearest friends. How revolting. [Methinks she hangs around the Fear's too much.]

"You should not use thy Lords name in vain, Kelly."

"Since when are you Ms. I don't Use they Lords name in Vain, Sarah?"

"I don't know. My mother told me that."

"Youre mother tells you a lot of thing, doesn't she, Sarah?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know much."

[It's funny to reread over this, as I haven't in thirteen years. But Kella and Sarah's relationship is pretty much the same even in the latest version. They constantly insult each other and Sarah's jealous that Kella's prettier than her. :P]

"Maybe, maybe not. All's I know is that you're smarter than me."

"You got that right."

"Well, you could be a little more modest than that."

I think I was enjoying our screwed up little conversation. "Sarah," I said. "One day you'll get your wish." I don't know why I said it, but I knew it was true. One day Sarah would get her wish. Because I would make it come true. I always did. And I knew that one day Sarah would not doubt my powers.\

It was kind of scrwed up what her biggest fear was. Me. Yes, her biggest fear was her own best friend.

I think that it was maybe inevitabel. I wasn't afraid of anything. And my only weakness was my humanity. It subjected me to human emotions. and I became one person's number one victom.

[This is a bunch of seemingly pointless meandering but it was supposed to show Kelly and Sarah's master-servant sort of relationship as the base of events of later books that were never written. Later on Sarah sort of comes into her own and marries Kratine and becomes Kelly's worst enemy.]

Sarah and I walked to the lake. We often went to the lake. It was clear and if you stare at it you could see forever. At least in the middle. [The lake is full of hallucinogens which is why everyone in Shadyside is insane.]

It was nice there, and I liked it. Me and Sarah were sitting on the short dock. No one knew why it was there. They never went sailing ont he lake anymore, although they used to. [We all remember that lovely incident when five people drowned on a bright sunny day.] I was sitting there staring at the trees, when something changed, and I saw Fat Freddy.



[A poison apple for whoever guesses what book that was stolen from.]

Again. I had seen him before. In my dreams. he had told me that he could make my wishes come true.

But he had to give. me some credit. I was smarter than that. I knew that nothing's free. and that nobody got something for nothing. It was sort of like the kids at school. Especially the three of them--Kyle, Xena, and Mara--boy what I would give to see them dead. I had truly grown to hate them. but now matter how much they teased and tormented me, I'd still have my self-respect. I didnt' beg anybody for help, I was just fine on my own. [You hear voices and see beings other people can't. You're fine...]

But Fat Freddy was an arrogant, self-center guy. he thought he was better than the god who created him. he was stupid, in my book.

He had no respect for anybody. Fat Freddy reminded me of Kyle. Kyle was an ass hole just like Xena and Mara. But Xena and Mara only acted tough to me because they were terrified. Of what, I'm not sure.

But Kyle was a different story. He was not afraid of me. And ofr that alone, he had my respect. I know it seems kind of stupid, but me, and Kyle are a bit alike. We're both smart, fail on purpose, [then you're not very smart] although he was human, he was a very divine human being. I didn't know exactly what he was, but i knew he was something special. Something having to do with me, althought not in his conscious mind.

He held my interest. And I think I even had a little crush on him. But off the subject of Kyle alone, and back to the three of them. Kyle was intriguing. Xena and mara were wimps. They made me sick. but oneday i would get back at them. I knew I would.

I slowly turned to look at my friend. I knew at that instant what she wanted. Beauty. She wanted to be beautiful. Like me. "I know, Sarah," I said.

And she just looked at me.

[Fifth grade? That's what I get for naming chapters before I write them. Is it so wrong that part of me really wants to rewrite this story? Next time: Chapter Four - Scavenger Hunt. Guess which book that's stolen from? ;P]

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows... Part 2, because plagerism is fun!

Last time on Any Way the Wind Blows, we learned our heroine Kelly’s dad ditched her family when she was four, her mom has killed people and it’s possible Kelly has too, and her young looking geriatric aunt gave her an evil ring from Mars, which is causing her to hear a strange man‘s voice in her head. What can possibly happen next?

Chapter Two--Innocent

[*snort* Hardly.]

About the time I started writing in a diary. When I got home that night my mother surprised me by telling me Aunt Laurella had stopped by and dropped of an old book.

It was brown on the outside, and was made out of leather. My name was inscribed on the inside cover. And that made me happy. The pages had all faded to a dull yellow and I could tell that it was old. And that was OK with me because I liked old things.


I wrote in it about my crushes, my hopes, my fears, and all my dates with boys. [You’re fricken SEVEN!] It was a very private.

Also, the day after I got back from meeting Aunt Laurella, something happened to me.

It was recess, and I was sitting in the grass showing my ring to my best friend, Sarah.

Sarah Beth Fear [Told you this was a Fear Street fanfic.] wasn’t exactly rich, but she wasn’t all that poor, either. Sarah wasn’t exactly pretty. She wasn’t ugly either. [This story isn’t great. It’s not good either.] Sarah had long light blond hair, and dark brown eyes that never showed any emotion what-so-ever.

Sarah was seven--like me--and we were in the same class. Her family lived right next door to mine.

Sarah’s father was in the car selling business. He took old cars and restored them like new. Her mother on the other hand worked for a modeling agency. She wasn’t a model herself--she had tried to be but was too short--she was vice president off the agency. Julie Fear was pretty famous. [Because other models FEAR her. Yeah. I said it.]

Sarah’s family owned the south half of the town practically. The Fear’s owned Fear Street, The Simon Fear Mansion [Why haven’t they torn it down?], The Fear Street Woods, Fear Lake, Fear Island, and The Fear Street Cemetery. [Can city cemeteries be privately owned?] They owned a lot. Hell, they even owned our house.

For I lived at 97 Fear Street. [Next door to 99, the house of evil.] But they didn’t charge us any rent because Julie and my father had grown up together, and she and my mother were quite close. [I wish I had friends like that. ^_^]

Well anyways, Sarah and I wre sitting on the grass looking at the ring, when Xena Anderson [Who is actually still in the current day version of this story, and she’s still a bitch.] and her fan club--Mara Zuchensky, and Emily Morris--walked up and grabbed it out of my hand.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Xena?” I asked.

She held it up to her pale face with her left hand. “I thought you had better taste for jewelry than this, it ain’t even real silver.”

I jumped to my feet. “Give it back,” I demanded holding out my right hand.

“Oh, it’s sentimental value to you,” Xena said very melodramatically. “Why, Kelly, I didn’t believe that feelings existed to The Ice Princess.” She raised her right hand up to the small of her neck as she said this.

That’s also another thing about me, along with ’The Ice Princess,’ I had about half a dozen more stupid nicknames; Kelly K, Hold ‘em, Thrill ‘em, Kiss ‘em, Kill ‘em Coffield [Oh Lord did I actually take this from the song from Batman Forever?], The Megabtich, Kell Bell, Whore around Coffield [Well, from the sounds of her dates she kind of earned this one.], and Kell.

Xena was standing there so strongly, and confidently. Her long light blond hair flowing gently in the breeze. Her clear jade green eyes staring directly into my demonic once. So cruelly, as if challenging me to do something if I dared. But then something just went off.

I grabbed her pale skinny neck, pushed her down and banged her head into the ground. That stunned her. Then I grabbed the arm where she was holding my silver ring. I raised her wrist up to my mouth and bit her as hard as I could on her vain. [Is her ¾ demonic nature actually vamparic?]

The pale, blonde, and beautiful, Xena Anderson who I hated so that moment screamed all her bloody hearts content and dropped the ring. [Mission accomplished, or Nimnu kanryou as Heero would say.] Then Mara and Emily started screaming too, while as Sarah just stared. [She’s thinking about what a freak her best friend is.]

I picked up the ring and walked off licking the blood on my lips. I didn’t know why I licked the blood, I just did. But all too soon I heard Him again. [No, not God.]

“Very good, Kelika.”

I stopped. “Who are you?” I asked.

“I might as well introduce myself,” He said. “I am Kratine, of the ancient past.” [Those who get this win a picture of an apple!]


Quickly, before ‘Kratine,’ or whoever he was noticed, I turned back to see what was going on back at the playground. Xena was crying hysterically, and our second grade teacher was trying to get her to shut up. I saw all the kids in my class, along with other second grade classes were gathering around to watch. Among them I saw my sister, Laura, and her own best friend, Angela Goode. [I had to work one in somewhere.] But she wasn’t all that good. [Haha! Bad joke!] In my life, I did a lot to Angela. A lot of stuff that hurt her. Now that I think of it, I’m not sorry for any of it. [Since I never made it that far, I’ll go ahead and explain. Later when they’re in their twenties Kelly steels Angela’s husband.] And I just kept walking till I got home.

I was surprised to see my mother home. I wasn’t quite sure what she did for a living, but I knew it paid handsomely. But why we didn’t live in a better nationhood [Or pay their generous friends something], I found out alter in my life. [I don’t think she actually ever did.]

“Mother,” I said as I walked into the dining room. “What are you doing home?”

Mother was staring into the mirror right beside it on the wall. “Just thinking, Kelika.”

“About what?” I asked. I looked at my mothers reflection in the mirror. Her long blond hair was scraggly and unwashed. Her bangs hung in her face, and I saw tears in her cerelean blue eyes. I had never seem her cry before.

“My parent,” she said. Mother sighed and put her head in her hands. “I am weak,” she said forlornly.

“Why?”

“Because I’m crying.” She rose her head out of her hands and a wry smile crossed her beautiful pale face. “About my parents.” She looked at me. “Crying is a weakness, Kelika. Don’t ever do it. Especially not in front of anybody.” [Because repression is so healthy.] She turned away from me and looked back into the mirror.

“Mother,” I said.

“Yes, Kelika.”

“Things have been going on with me.”

“What kind of things?”

“Well, there’s this lizard, and--”

She cut me off. “Lizard? I think you’ve been spending too much time by yourself.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I looked up at her. “I know it sound crazy, but he’s really there. He made me do something today. He made me bite Xena Anderson’s wrist.”

She was just staring at me then, as if she was trying to project a part of herself into me. “Did this ‘Lizard,’ have a name, Kelika?”

“Yes,” I replied softly. “Kratine.”

She stared at me and her face when pale. Then she smacked me right across my face. “Never mention him to me, again,” she said through clenched teeth. Then she stood up and started to walk back to her room when she turned around to look at me. “Never!” she screamed.

I just sat there till the others got home.

“You wouldn’t know cool if it bit you on the ass,” I heard my brother Michael yelling from the front hall.

“I would so,” my sister Laura replied.

“You shouldn’t swear, Michael,” my sister Megan said that too him. Boy was she ever a goody-goody.

Jus then Jennifer came running in. “Guess what, Kelly?” [You’d think they’d be asking her what happened in school]

“What,” I said with no emotion.

“I’m getting skipped to the fourth grade.” She looked so happy. Her curly black pigtails bopping u and down.

“What” I was surprised. I knew Jen-Jen was smart, but I never guess that she would be skipped a grade.

“Well at least I actually have friends, Jennifer. I don’t go around acting like I’m better than God,” Michael said.

“Well you act like you’re better than shit.” [???]

“I am better than shit.”

“No you are not.” [This is the girl whose getting skipped a grade.]

“I am too.” [I grow weary of the siblings. They added nothing to the story, anyway. I don’t even know why they’re there. Or why so many. In later versions I got rid of Michael and Laura.]

This never ending battle between Michael and Jennifer was getting old and tiresome. “Will you both shut the hell up,” I said. They were both quiet and turned to look at me. “Jen-Jen, Michael is better than shit.” I said looking at her. Then I turned to look at Michael. “Michael, Jennifer does not think she’s better than shit. [I think you meant God, Kell.] Ok.” They didn’t answer. And Laura spoke.

“Why did you do it, Kell Bell?” she asked me, ger green eyes penetrating into mine.

“Huh? Do what?” Megan asked, her cerelean blue eyes wide with envy that Laura knew something she didn’t.

“Yeah, what did you do, Kelly?” Michael asked. “I heard rumors that you were a vampire, an tried to drink The Anderson Bitch’s blood.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Laura said. Sweet Laura. Always sticking up for me. Would she ever stop? [They were intended to have the Elizabeth-Jessica kind of relationship. Gag.]

“First of all, what did Kelly do?” Jen-Jen now had control of the group that was trying to figure out what I did, and I wasn’t even a part of it, when mother came out of her room. No one got to answer Jennifer’s question.

“What the hell are you kids doing home so early?” she said to the other four. But not to me. She knew why I came home. And no one answered her ridiculous question. “I’m going out of town for a little while. “It was then I noticed her suitcases behind her. Mother took out something from her pocket. “Here,” she said. It ws five bills of money. The first one to Jen-Jen. The second to Laura. The third to Megan. The fourth to Michael. And the last to me. I tooka look at it and was surprised to see a one hundred dollar bill.

“What’s this for?” I asked.

“I’ll be back in two weeks.” She went to get her bags when Jen-Jen stopped her. “What do you want, Jennifer?”

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m getting skipped to the fourth grade.”

“That’s great, Jen. Bye.” And she left. [I think Suzy pwns at bad parenting. And in case it wasn’t mentioned, Michael is the oldest at ten, Jennifer’s eight, the twins are seven, and Megan’s five.]

“I think she just wants to get away from us,” Megan said. “She doesn’t love us anymore.”

“I don’t think she ever did,” Michael chirped in.

“You’re such a downer, Michael,” Laura sad to him.

“No he’s not, he’s sexist,” Jen-Jen said.

“Will you all shut up. I’m getting really sick of your fighting.”

“Kelika,” Laura said sweetly. She was one of the few precious people whom I allowed to call me by my real name. I didn’t even look u at her as she said my name. I just got up and left the room.

After my mother got back, [What? Nothing about the two weeks she was gone? Nothing about how they didn’t have anything to eat and spent their money on the crap they didn’t get from their mother? Nothing at all?] she started making me see a psychiatrist. His name was Dr. Nesbit. He was old and had white hair. Dr. Nesbit fit the description of what most people think that a psychiatrist looks like. Child patients often have a choice to do something constructive when we were talking to the guy. [Not that I know from experience.] I myself was painting a picture.

“What do you think your problem is, Kelika.” [He fails as a psychiatrist.]

I wlake over to him confidently. “First thing’s first, ass hole. Don’t you ever call me Kelika again. I don’t like you, and I should hope you don’t like me. So I’ll call you Dr. Nesbit, and you sure as hell have better not call me Kelika.”

“Well then what would you like me to call you?”

“Kelly.”

“Alright Kelly. What do you think your problem is?”

“I ain’t got no problem.” I walked back over to the painting stand, and started painting a picture.

A little while later, Dr. Ass Hole--as I’d like to call him--came over to look at my painting.”

“Tha’s a very interesting painting, Kelly,” he said nervously. I could tell he was afraid of me. It was one of my powers. I could sense fear. I allways thought it was funny. Half the people I knew’s number one fear was me. Even Sarah and Kyle. I’ve explained Sarah, but not Kyle. My dear Kyle. He was my worst enemy for half my life, but not all of it.

“What is it, Kelly?”

He was looking at it to see if it had hidden meaning. If it was a metaphore. I often spoke in metaphores, but his was not one of those times. [I think I was confused about what a metaphor was.]

What Dr. Ass hole was looking at, a blond girl laying I a coffind, a man with black hair, and another woman with blond, staring down at the dead girl, it wasn’t exactly a metaphore, but it wasn’t necessarily far from the truth as well. Those two people staring down at the dead girl actually came to her funeral, 20 years into the future that is. [This is foreshadowing.]

“It’s me,” I said.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s me.”

“Kelly, you don’t have blond hair, you have black.”

“I’m going to dye it in the future.”

“Well who are the other two?”

“The guys my husband.”

“And the other?”

I shrugged.

After that I went home and never went back. [Well wasn’t that…pointless…]

My life went on somewhat normally for the next three years. Till I reached age 10. Fifth grade.

Kratine stopped speaking to me shortly after my visit with Dr. Ass Hole. He pretended to leave, and I believed it for a while.

When I was ten I met someone very vital in my life. She almost stole my votes for Miss Shadyside. Nearly stole my boyfriend. Tried to drive me insane.

She may have done a lot of horrible things to me, but I did worse to her, and a lot of other people.

Let’s just say that I don’t like to be ignored.

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows, just how much can one girl plagerize Christopher Pike

Kella Coffield is my oldest character. I created her when I was ten years old. And, like all my best ideas, she came from a dream. In it I was Kella (Well, back then she was Kelly), one of a pair of twins that belonged to a much detested family who lived on Fear Street. They lived at 97 Fear Street, right next door to the famous 99. Next to her lived her friend Jimmy and on the other side of his house their friend Elsie. I don't remember what happened in the dream, but the characters were born and survive to this day in another version of the story called Summer Days Ain't Coming Back.

By the time a friend convinced me to put this insane tale to paper two years had passed since it's birth and it had grown to encompass elements of all my favorite stories and shows. So without furthur ado, I present my seventh-grade masterpeice, Any Way the Wind Blows.

Chapter One - A Falling Star

I was born June 13, 1967. [I was very into exact dates. I even came up with a little method on pinpointing what day of the week things happened and mentioning them repeatedly in my storeis] I was the third child, second daughter, to Peter Coffield and Suzin Hanson.

I was five minutes older than my twin sister--Laura. My mother named me Kelika. Kali Ma. The godess who embodies both creation and destruction. It was a Vedic name. Who I was.

I am not sure who will one day read this. I’m not sure why I’m even writing this down. But let me make one fact clear; I am not evil. There was a reason I did everything that I did. To you, I was probably just an irrational child. But let me assure you, I’m not. [Me thinks you sound a wee bit paranoid, Kell Bell.]

Life’s an ironic thing. It has ways of teaching you things like nothing else does. Each and every thing on the planet has one purpose or another. I had one too. I don’t think I was ever clear on what my destiny was, but I am not what I used to be, so maybe things have changed.

My story begins when I was a child. My brother, Michael, was simply adorable. Everybody loved him. He had wavy black hair and dark green eyes. He was born on July 22, 1964 [My birthday, though 20 years earlier.]. He was sweet and everyone loved him. Michael was very protective of his little sisters, all four of us.

My sister Jennifer was born a year and a half after Michael. On Febuary 15, 1966. Jennifer was extremely smart and preferred to be called Jennifer rather than Jenny. But I always called her Jen-Jen.

Jen-Jen had long whispy black hair and sapphire blue eyes that were hardly found in anyone other than toddlers. She was a very mature woman and didn’t have much fun in her childhood.

My younger sister, Megan, was born on August 2, 1969. She was two years younger than me, and the most annoying little sister a girl could have. Megan made me sick half the time. Instead of having black hair like the rest of us, she had golden blond curls. Along with Jen-Jen’s blue eyes. She was like a breath of fresh hair, most people would say. Especially for the Coffield family. [Was it her “breath of fresh hair” personality that nauseated you?]

Then there was me and Laura. The Coffield twins. We were both positively gorgeous [No modesty here. And for the record, in my head Kelly's always looked like Mila Kunis. When I first saw Gia back in '97 and saw Mila Kunis I was like "Holy shit! It's Kelly!"]. With our long wavey black hair, and our demonic green eyes. But we were the rarest of twins. For Laura was ¾ human and ½. . . . Something. But it was the opposite for me. I was ¼ human, and ¾ something. [Now it gets weird. Had you fooled in the beginning, didn’t it?]

Laura was the good twin. She got good grades, good boyfriends, and she had a good attitude. I, on the other hand, was the screw-up. I never did what I was told. I never took orders from anyone. In fact, I acted like a total bitch most of my life. I think it’s funny. But maybe it’s not so funny.

My story starts when I was four years old. When my parents got divorced and Daddy left.

It was about one “o” clock in the morning and my parents were fighting. Even though they were poor, and had us when they were teenagers, they were good parents. They never fought in front of us. They never even seamed to have anything bad going on between them. But I knew better. I knew them. I could sense when something was wrong. It was sort of a gift I had. Knowing when things were wrong. Usually what’s wrong. Knowing when people were lying to me. Most people wished that they had my gift. But I wished I didn’t, throughout my life, it just caused me nothing but pain and agony.

My parents were yelling at each other very loudly. I wondered why the other’s didn’t wake up.

“Suzin,” my father yelled at my mother. “What the hell are we gonna do with her. It’s one thing having a wife for a murderer. It’s another thing having a daughter for a murderer.” [So Suzin’s a confessed killer. Wonder which daughter they’re talking about…]

“Look, Peter,” my mother said calmly and rationally, like always. “If you don’t like the way things are, you are a 23 year old adult. You can take care of yourself.” [Ye Gods, 23 with five kids. Probably a good thing he left before they could spout out more of these Coffield hellions.]

“What are you getting at, Suzi?”

Then my mother went off. She grabbed his neck and screamed, “Don’t ever call me Suzi!” Her fingernails were digging into his neck and then a drop of blood appeared. Mother seemed fixated in a trance. Frankly, I thought she was going nuts. [Me too.]

I know when most kids caught their mother trying to kill their daddy, that they would get scared. But not me. I was almost as fixated as my mother. I knew that my mother couldn’t kill him. She loved him too much. That’s why she tried to not fall in love. She was never able to kill those she loved. And that would once again after this incident come back to haunt her.

Suddenly, my mother stopped, and she left go. They were in the big living room, with me in the hall. This is how our house was set up.

[I'll get this picure up later, my scanner's not set up.]

“Get out, before I changed my mind,” my mother spoke restraining her temper.

“Alright,” he was quickly getting out of there before Mother killed him. I didn’t blame him.

But before he stepped into the hallway I stepped in front of him.

“Daddy, where are you going?”

He nealed down in front of me. “Daddy’s got to go away for a while, Kelly. There are certain things you’ve got to understand.” [She’s four.]

“Go back to bed, Kelly,” I heard my mother call to me.

“Goodbye Kelly,” my daddy kissed me on the cheek and walked out the front door. I never saw him again.

I walked into the living room and sat next to me mother. She was squeezing her temples with her eyes closed, and she obviously didn’t know I was there.

“Mother,” I said touching her shoulder. It was when she looked up I saw she was crying. “What’s wrong?” I said.

She just looked at me as if I were crazy. “You know, Kelika. You always know.” She got up and walked towards the kitchen, but then she turned around and looked back at me. “Go back to bed.” And I did what I was told for once of the few times in my life. But only because she used my real name.

Kelika, I never really hated the name, I just liked being called Kelly.

Nothing much happened in my later life. [If that were the case, this story would be much shorter.] I went into school the next year. And I was a straight A student.

Then my life took a turn when I was seven. Mother told me to meet my Aunt Laurella. She was who Laura was named after.

Aunt Laurella was born on May 15, 1882. The woman was 92 years old. But she didn’t look a day over 25. [People would kill for her secret.] It was October of 1974.

Aunt Laurella had just gotten off the tran. I knew she could not see me, but she knew I was there. And she walked right to me.

“Hello, Kelika,” she said when she reached me. She was a gorgeous as a model. Her hair was long, almost down to her ass. And it was black. It was not died though, it was completely natural. She was tall, at five ten. She had a wiry lithe figure. And she was wearing an old fashioned black dress that most people wore when she was a kid. [How does she know all this?]

“Aunt Laurella, how did you know it was me?” The question seemed to amuse her for a moment, then it frightened her. [Laurella’s bipolar.] Almost as if she knew me. Many people who knew me were afraid of me, even though at that point I hadn’t hurt a thing in my life. Most people knew what I was even before I knew. I think now that that was the only thing that frightened me in life. People getting to knew me. Because I wasn’t like other people. I didn’t even know myself. Because I was a walking time bomb. And God only knew when I would go off. [She does like to ramble.]

“Silly girl,” Aunt Laurella said, the smile returning onto her narrow pale face. She reached into her handbag and too out a ring case.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“It’s for you,” she handed it slowly over to me and took off her sunglasses. It was then that I saw her eyes. They were almost as dark as mine. “Here, take it.”

I reluctantly took it from her and opened it. It was a plain silver band. [Ahhh! What happened to the ring that was the self eating serpent with the emerald eye? It must’ve been in an earlier version. Or maybe a later. Damn that ring was so much cooler.] An odd gift, I thought.

“It’s from Mars,” Aunt Laurella told me excitedly. “It’s a part of you.” [And Laurella’s been smoking some weed.]

“What do you mean?”

“there’s more to it than what meats the eye.” She smiled. An evil smile. A smile that sent shivers down my spin. I just stared at her. Waiting. Waiting for what? Perhaps what happened next. I’m still not sure.

As I stared at Aunt Laurella’s evil smile, something happened at that moment to change me forever. The smile seemed to start to crawl all the way up her face till it reached her eyes. It wanted to eat her eyes. Then slowly, everything except Aunt Laurella, turned black. And all I could see was that smile. That stupid smile. Her eyes started to dissolve. And soon her whole face. Till there was nothing left except that smile. That smile I hated so. The smile that sure as hell didn’t belong to her.

Then I saw who--or should I say what--that smile belonged to. It was an ugly green demonic reptile. He was scaly and smelly--yes, I could actually smell it. It was so nauseating, I thought I would die. So I closed my eyes and screamed. And screamed. And screamed. [Well so far she seems a smidgent smarter than Gracie and Dawn. Screaming is an appropriate response.]

When I finally opened my eyes, I automatically stopped screaming. Everything was back to normal. With Aunt Laurella shaking me.

“Kelly, are you all right?” I pushed her off me.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” I turned and started funning. Running faster than I had ever run in my life.

“Kelika!” I heard my aunt call and I stopped. She quickly caught up to me. [Pretty quick for a 92-year-old woman.] “You forgot the ring.” I quickly realized that during my hallucination I had dropped the ring case.

“Why are you giving me that ring?” I asked. [More importantly, how did you get ahold of a ring from Mars? Or, why do you look so young?]

“Because it’s a part of who you are. It will help you.”

“With what?”

“Your powers.” My powers? How did she know about them? I had never told anybody. “Just remember this.”

“What?” I whispered.

She leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Any way the wind blows, life is like a black rose.” She rose and left. The next time I saw her was ten years into the future.

I took the ring out of the case and put it upon my thumb on my left hand.

I stared up at the sky and was surprised to find that it had grown dark. How long had I been out there? Then I took a look at my surroundings. How did I get this far? I was at the hanging tree. [Yes, because the very backwards town of Shadyside had a history of hanging witches in the nineteenth century. Including Laurella’s twin sister. Why do I remember this crap?] Three miles from my house. How could I have possibly gotten this far?

It was then I heard it. It. “Hello, Kelly,” It said to me from inside my head.

I squeezed my temples and said, “Who are you? What are you doing in my head?”

It just laughed. It had a deep baritone voice. “I’m here for a reason, Kelly.”

“And what’s that?”

“To help you. To show you?” [Apparently he’s unsure.] The to show you part struck me as insane. [That’s the only part?]

“To show me what?”

“Yourself.”

I had been walking towards my house all that time, and I finally reached the lake. The lake was just down the street from me. God I had walked fast.

I walked over to the crystal clear blue water to see my reflection. I was so pretty. [And so narcissistic.] But I didn’t see my face. I saw the ugly reptile instead. It was sort of like that story about that girl who was really vain and selfish, so one day she looked at herself in the mirror and she saw a really ugly girl. [So she recognizes the fact that she’s extremely vain.]

But this was different, I wasn’t that ugly thing. I was simply there, hearing, listening to the ugly thing.

It was at that moment something made me look at the sky. Some people say when you see a falling star, you’re supposed to wish upon it. And if you don’t tell anybody what you wished for it would come true.

But not for me.

Because in the instante I saw that falling star something clicked.

I was that falling star.

Because in my brief, but unbelievable life, I hardly learned anything. Life is a precious gift. And you should live it to it’s fullest.

I truly was that falling star. My life had highpoints, and it had low points. But that’s life. [How melodramatic can you get?]

What is the green reptile? What powers does Kelly have? What kind of anti-aging treatment does Laurella use? Who did Kelly kill? What the hell is going on in this story. Find out next time...maybe...

Jimmy Dearest, Part Two

Last time: Sarah Devens stumbled upon the body of her dead teacher, literally. She slipped in his gory blood and landed herself in the hospital.

Chapter 4

I awoke feeling different. As if a part of me were gone. That part of me that felt like it was missing was my left arm. Then I looked over at it.

I had been stabbed! [Where are the nurses?!]

As soon as I saw that, I started screaming bloody murder.

Then the doctors came in. Apariently I couldn’t have been stabbed that long before, because I had been stabbed in an artery. Then things got dim--like the previous day at school when I just happened to find Mr. Wain--and dimmer and dimmer.

Yet dimmer.

Dimmer.

Black.

* * * * *

I awoke again. But this time I was in my bedroom at home. Then I saw my mother. She was sitting at my desk.

“Mom,” I said.

“Honey,” she said in her annoying perky way. [If you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t like perky people.] “Your up. How do you feel?”

“Okay.”

“That’s good, I was worried sick. [Yeah, not showing up at the hospital in your daughter's time of need is exactly what shows how much you care.] Thank goodness your all right.”

“I’m fine. Where’s Jimmy?”

“He went to school today.”

“Great,” I said sarcastically. “what time is it?”

“It’s two “o” clock.”

“One more hour.”

“Sweetie.”

“Yeah mom.”

“How are you?”

“Didn’t you already ask that question.”

“Yes, but--”

“No buts about it. I’m tired. Leave!” I could tell my mother was definitatly hurt. But I didn’t care. Oh, no, I’m no going to become a softy. I’m sixteen. I can take care of myself.

* * * * *

Yes, it’s me again. I know your surprised. But it really is true. Sarah is sixteen. She kind of acts like a baby, but that‘s how it is. [At least I realized this as I wrote it.] I’m almost ashamed to have her as--sorry I keep rambling on on like that. It happens, sometimes, you know.

You might be wondering what I was about to say, but you’ll find out soon enough. All comes in due time. And again, I tell you, that I am not Sarah. I am simply telling you this through Sarah’s point of view. She is the story. Yet I am--I‘ll tell you later.

Sarah slept the rest of that day and half of the next. I will tell it to you now. . . . .

Chapter 5

Mourning.

I hate mourning--I prefer night.

If I awoke to peaceful sunlight streaming threw the window, birds singing peaceful beuatiful songs--I might like mourning better. I might have woken up in a good mood. But I didn’t.

Instead I wake up to hammering and chain saw churning, and all the normal sounds coming from the constructin site next door.

I hate Oregon, I thought. [It seems I had a bone to pick with Oregon. The gals from Dear Sister lived--and hated it--there, too. The closest I‘ve ever come to Oregon is Southern California when I was four.]

I hate the noise. I hate the polution. I hate the traffic. I hate everything.

I looked at my alarm clock to see what time it was.

Three-thirty.

Jimmy was home, I thought.

I grabed my phone off the reciever and dialed Jimmy’s number.

It rang three times before anyone picked it up.

“Hello,” said a deep male voice.

It was Jimmy.

“Hey Jimmo,” I said.

“Sarah, how ya doin?

“Fine. How are you?”

“Okay. How ya feelin?” [I don’t think he was supposed to be southern]

“Fine. I already said that.”

“I know that.”

“Really Jimmy, how do you hide all of your stupidity, and apear to be so smart?”

“What can I say, but the intelligence impaired know all.” [WTF?]

“You are so stupid.”

“Duh.”

“Duh yourself, you big wienie.”

“Oooo. I’m shakin’ in my cootie.”

“What?” [My sentiments exactly.]

“Listen Sarah, I gotta go.”

“But--”

He hung up before I could say anything. I hate him so much sometimes.

* * * * *

I went back to school three days later. Everyone asked me about the gory details of Mr. Wain’s body. I just told them where to shove it and walked off.

I found Jimmy waiting for me by my locker.

“What the hell do you want, Jimmy?”

“I just want to know how your doing. That’s all.”

“Nice. If you’ll excuse your unwanted presence, I’d like to get into my locker and go to class like a

[I’m pretty sure that’s where I ended it, because the rest of this page is so not my handwriting. I‘m guessing somebody continued on my story when they were passing around my notebook when they stole it from me, which could explain why I stopped working on it.]

normal kid, but apparently you don’t understand that.” I stormed off without going to my locker. “Jimmy is being such an asshole.” “And yet he is so handsome.” [I don’t remember calling Jimmy handsome. He was an “outcast,” which meant he probably wasn’t that great looking.]

“Sarah! Sarah!” My stubstate was calling my name. Some kids started snickering. That made me so angry that I was ready to smack each and every one of them.

Soon after school I saw the most popular girl in school. In class I noticed she was the one who snickered the most. So what I did was hide behind a bush jump out scare her and beat her up. It was so funny to see Miss Perfect with a black eye.” Sarah Johnson Devins

* * * * *

Yeah. That kind of killed the story for me. If you are indeed curious about this, the person doing the murders and hurting Sarah was Sarah’s twin sister Julie, but as we later find out Julie never existed. Sarah’s mom was originally expecting twins and she would’ve named the twin Julie. [So borrowed from The Perfume] So Sarah made up the personality of Julie, and it was her thinking she was Julie that was going around stabbing people. Ah, the clever plot twist. Anyways, it was Jimmy who found out her secret and finally got her help. But his “betrayal” is what sent Sarah truly over the deep end and made her believe she’d always been Julie, thus Julie is the other person telling the story. Yes, it’s convoluted. And this is only the beginning.

Next time: The Day of Rebecca, a play about a girl named Rebecca who kills somebody. Are we sensing a pattern here? Oh, and this one’s ACTUALLY FINISHED! I know you’re excited.