Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 3

Chapter Three - Fifth Grade

[Moving right along...]

The day that Elsie MacNicols walked intyo my life was a day that I'll never forget.

"Class, we have a new student today. Her name is Elsie MacNicols," My teacher, Ms. Crenshaw [Ms. Crenshaw was a teacher at my elementary school whom I was never a student of.], told us. Then she went over to the black board and wrote:

WELCOME ELSY MCNICHOLES.

Then Elsie walked in and I read her mind. I don't know why I read her mind that moment, I just did. [Since when have you been able to read minds? What the hell is this girl?]

The old bat doesn't even know how to spell my name, Elsie thought. I almost instantly felt sorry for her. So I raised my hand.

"Yes, Ms. Coffield," said Ms. Crenshaw.

"Are you sure that that's how you spell Elsie's name? It just doesn't look right?"

"It is the right spelling. Right Elsie."

"Actually, it is the wrong spelling. In Elsie, it's not spelled with a y, it's ie. And in McNicholes, ther is an a in between the M and C, and there is no h or e." Then Elsie sat down in the only empy seat avalable. Next to me. On the next page you'll see how the classroom was set up. The town was small, so there were only 20 people in the class.

[Actually you won't be seeing the crappy class diagram because my scanner is still not hooked up but it only serves to show you that Kell Bell's in the back corner between Elsie and that dreamy sexpot Kyle *swoon* with her friends Sarah and Jimmy sitting in front of them.]

That was the way we were set up. I had to sit next to Kyle. He was an ass hole. But a cute ass hole.

"OK, class," ms. Crenshaw said. "We're going to play question."

We all groaned except Elsie. We all hated this damn game. Ms. Crenshaw would ask a question, and whoever answered it would get to sk another question.

"Alright class, today is December 7, 1977, on this day, 26 year ago, what happened.

Kyle quickly raised his hand.

"Yes, Kyle."

"It was the bombing of Pearl Harbor." [Gee, I wonder what I was learning about in school... This is what I used my spotty education for.]

"That'is correct. What is your question."

"Is Kelly Coffield a virgin?"

The whole class abrupted (?) in laughter as the color drained from my face. How dare that no class peice of shit say that about me. I looked around the classroom and saw that Sarah, Laura, and Elsie were not laughing, my loyal friend and sister. And Elsie was new. How would she know what was going on.

[Thoughts going through Elsie's head: I wonder who else's virginity is in question. *bats eyes at Kyle*]

Then Xena raised her hand, the Bitch. [With a capitol B!] "I know the answer."

"Yes, Xena," Kyle said smugly.

"No. The answer is now."

[And Ms. Crenshaw's just letting this happen....]

"And why do you say that, Xena?"

"Because," she said flipping her long blond hair behind her shoulders. "There is no way in hell that kelly Coffield, of the slutty, sleazy, no good Coffield family, could be a virgin. Sluttiness is in the whore's genes." [Don't you just love kid logic. I remember my best friend when I was a kid telling me that the guy I was crushing on had sex with his mother...Just because. Except we couldn't say sex without giggling so we had 100 euphenisms for it.] She smiled smugly as half the class clapped for her.

"Well said, Xena," Kyle said. "That was well said."

I looked over at Ms. Crenshaw, she had her head in her hands. [I have my had in my hands. I'm the one who actually wrote this crap.] The woman had finally given up on this class."

And then Xena stood up and said "but the real question is, who did she do?"

The class with the exception of Sarah, Laura, and Elsie started laughing again, then Mara Suchlensky stood up. "I bet it was Kyle Bradly," Mara said.

Then Kyle stood up. "Now I would not do Trailor Trash (TM) like that," he said pointing to me. [She's sure being complacent among all these accusations for a girl who bit and drank the blood of a girl who took her crappy ring.]

Then my sweet little sister , stood up. "My sister is not Trailor Trash (TM)," she said, and put her hands on her hips.

"Class," Ms. Crenshaw yelled. "Hush up!"

They all just kept talking so i di the usual and got out. Sarah followed for the first time. [Ah, so the atrocity of a class is a common occurence, I guess?]

"I don't understand how the can constantly make fun of you like that, Kell Bell."

I looked over at her. "I don't understand how we're still friends." [Neither can I. Kelly's a total bitch to her.]

She looked over at me. "I understand."

"How?" I asked.

"We understand each other."

"I may understand you, but do you understand me?"

Sarah looked at me questionally. "OK, so maybe I don't understand you." I laughed. "But I still understand you better than everybody else."

"that's true."

"why don't you flaunt your beauty?" [An odd question for a ten-year-old.]

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kelly, you're gorgeous, why not show the world that you're not Trailor Trash (TM)."

"I don't know." I looked at her. and I saw my friends poorly conceled jelousy. "Why, are you jelouse?" I said.

She started laughing nervously. "I'm not jelous. Why would I be jelous of you!" She started laughing at it. Laughing like a maniac. I thought she was gonna go nuts.

I looked back over at the school. "Sarah shut up," I said.

"Why," she had shut up, but she still had that curious face on her face. [If only Stephanie Meyer could write like this...]

"What do you think about the new girl Sarah."

"Well, Kell Bell," she said as we walked up to me. "I heard from my mother that hr father and Angela Goode's mother, are getting married and moving next door to Jimmy."

"Good, God," I mumbled. The Goodes living right next door to one of my dearest friends. How revolting. [Methinks she hangs around the Fear's too much.]

"You should not use thy Lords name in vain, Kelly."

"Since when are you Ms. I don't Use they Lords name in Vain, Sarah?"

"I don't know. My mother told me that."

"Youre mother tells you a lot of thing, doesn't she, Sarah?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know much."

[It's funny to reread over this, as I haven't in thirteen years. But Kella and Sarah's relationship is pretty much the same even in the latest version. They constantly insult each other and Sarah's jealous that Kella's prettier than her. :P]

"Maybe, maybe not. All's I know is that you're smarter than me."

"You got that right."

"Well, you could be a little more modest than that."

I think I was enjoying our screwed up little conversation. "Sarah," I said. "One day you'll get your wish." I don't know why I said it, but I knew it was true. One day Sarah would get her wish. Because I would make it come true. I always did. And I knew that one day Sarah would not doubt my powers.\

It was kind of scrwed up what her biggest fear was. Me. Yes, her biggest fear was her own best friend.

I think that it was maybe inevitabel. I wasn't afraid of anything. And my only weakness was my humanity. It subjected me to human emotions. and I became one person's number one victom.

[This is a bunch of seemingly pointless meandering but it was supposed to show Kelly and Sarah's master-servant sort of relationship as the base of events of later books that were never written. Later on Sarah sort of comes into her own and marries Kratine and becomes Kelly's worst enemy.]

Sarah and I walked to the lake. We often went to the lake. It was clear and if you stare at it you could see forever. At least in the middle. [The lake is full of hallucinogens which is why everyone in Shadyside is insane.]

It was nice there, and I liked it. Me and Sarah were sitting on the short dock. No one knew why it was there. They never went sailing ont he lake anymore, although they used to. [We all remember that lovely incident when five people drowned on a bright sunny day.] I was sitting there staring at the trees, when something changed, and I saw Fat Freddy.



[A poison apple for whoever guesses what book that was stolen from.]

Again. I had seen him before. In my dreams. he had told me that he could make my wishes come true.

But he had to give. me some credit. I was smarter than that. I knew that nothing's free. and that nobody got something for nothing. It was sort of like the kids at school. Especially the three of them--Kyle, Xena, and Mara--boy what I would give to see them dead. I had truly grown to hate them. but now matter how much they teased and tormented me, I'd still have my self-respect. I didnt' beg anybody for help, I was just fine on my own. [You hear voices and see beings other people can't. You're fine...]

But Fat Freddy was an arrogant, self-center guy. he thought he was better than the god who created him. he was stupid, in my book.

He had no respect for anybody. Fat Freddy reminded me of Kyle. Kyle was an ass hole just like Xena and Mara. But Xena and Mara only acted tough to me because they were terrified. Of what, I'm not sure.

But Kyle was a different story. He was not afraid of me. And ofr that alone, he had my respect. I know it seems kind of stupid, but me, and Kyle are a bit alike. We're both smart, fail on purpose, [then you're not very smart] although he was human, he was a very divine human being. I didn't know exactly what he was, but i knew he was something special. Something having to do with me, althought not in his conscious mind.

He held my interest. And I think I even had a little crush on him. But off the subject of Kyle alone, and back to the three of them. Kyle was intriguing. Xena and mara were wimps. They made me sick. but oneday i would get back at them. I knew I would.

I slowly turned to look at my friend. I knew at that instant what she wanted. Beauty. She wanted to be beautiful. Like me. "I know, Sarah," I said.

And she just looked at me.

[Fifth grade? That's what I get for naming chapters before I write them. Is it so wrong that part of me really wants to rewrite this story? Next time: Chapter Four - Scavenger Hunt. Guess which book that's stolen from? ;P]