Saturday, September 11, 2010

Christopher Pike Top 10's been a while. Real life just keeps getting in the way. I'm now working full-time, going to school three nights a week, babysitting on Saturdays, and doing free-lance web design in my free time. Unfortunately it has cut my internet time down to zilch. But I had some free time today and thought I'd update my blog with the best of my favorite author of all time. Yay!

I can't help been reiterate, I was a Christopher Pike FANATIC! I reread some of these books so many times my books fell apart. I've tried a couple of times to make a CP fansite but it keeps falling through. Anywho...without further ado,

Christopher Pike's 10 Best

1o. The Last Vampire
The book that started the insane six-part series. The books got progressively weirder but the original was pretty straightforward. 5000-year-old Sita is being hunted by someone who knows what she really is. She kills her only lead so her only hope on getting any information is to enter high-school and befriend his son. Kind of a predessessor for all the horrible vampire books published today. Along with the Vampire Diaries. A big thanks to Christopher Pike and L.J. Smith for that. ^_-

9. The Wicked Heart

We go back to Nazi Germany with a descendant Heinrich Himmler and his fictional mistress, Olga Scheimer. Dusty Shame is a serial killer who kills to appease the voice of his evil grandmother in his head. The story's pretty crazy, and very very dark, but always made for a good read on a rainy night. I can't emphasize enough just how great a writer Pike is to write this crazy ass story and as you read it make you believe it.

8. Fall Into Darkness
The tale of a girl who plans her own murder and frames her best friend, which was made into a less-than-great TV movie. The story shifts back and forth from the trial to the events leading up to the "murder" and we eventually see it was murder after all. It never gets old and every time I read it I notice something new. And for the record, Johnny the lawyer was totally swoonworthy. If I were Sharon I would've so done him. :p

7. Remember Me
This one is a lot of people's favorite. And for good reason. It's a great story of a murdered girl who goes on her own investigation into her murder by following her friends and entering their dreams. And it has Peter in it! Peter is one of the sexiest male love interests to grace fiction. Ever! I dare you to disagree! And if you're a careful reader you may have noticed he wrote the beginnings of what would become the Eternal Enemy.

6. Final Friends #1: The Party

The whole series is great but there's only room on the list for one. This book is fricken hilarious! From the vending machine toppling over, Sara becoming class president, every interaction Sara has with Russ, and Bubba! Bubba could have his own series and I'd read it. Jessica's not my favorite character (that honor goes to Sara) but I didn't dislike her. (If I hate the lead normally I hate the book. i.e. Twilight) The Dance and The Graduation were both good as well but neither topped the first.

5. Chain Letter 2: The Ancient Evil
It's not often I like a sequel better than the original, but Chain Letter 2 definitely surpassed it's predecessor to me. It may be because I read it first, but this one was so much darker. Full of evil cults and chain letters and death and zombie bitches. It was awesome! And I loved Kipp. I was so sad when he was killed. I wrote a fanfiction lost to time about Brenda and Kipp's unborn baby. Jane wasn't killed and she tracked down the children of Brenda and Kipp and Tony and Allison and there were new chain letters with them and their friends. It was kind of awesome.

4. Whisper of Death
I'm obsessed with dreamlike realities. As is evident in most of my earlier stories. Which makes this entire book a guilty pleasure. I loved the little stories within telling the thinly-veiled deaths of each of the characters. And I still wonder, what the fuck was up with Betty Sue? What was she? Some kind of witch? Some demon from hell? What was she? I want to know!!!!!!!

3. Die Softly
This teenage drug-filled bloodbath was the inspiration for the third incarnation of Any Way the Wind Blows, and Alexa was the inspiration for Pamela Young. It was interesting how in the main cast everyone of them had a little piece of the puzzle but none of them really knew what was going on. I loved the bittersweet ending. Alexa didn't get away with everything, but poor Herb didn't get a happy ending either. :(

2. Master of Murder
Who doesn't love this one? I love Marvin. I love his angst, his paralyzing crush on Shelly, his screwed-up morals. I would love a true sequel to this, not just the little side stories that appeared in the Tales of Terror. Who knows? With Pike resurgence into the mainstream I may get my wish yet.

And topping the list...
1. The Season of Passage
This book changed my life. Fear Street made me want to be a writer, The Season of Passage made me want to write like Christopher Pike. The story itself is pretty complicated. Lauren Wagner goes off on the second expedition to Mars and all sorts of bad things happen, while back on earth her sister writes a story detailing the origin of mankind and the story's true. Her and Lauren are the reincarnations of the sisters in the story, doomed to repeat the same mistakes. The writing is top notch and the description is pretty gruesome. I engulfed this book for the first time in two days when I was twelve. And when I read it recently, I loved it every bit as much as I did fourteen years ago.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Bad Girls Don't Die, A Review

The cover caught my attention in the bookstore but it was a little line on the back that made me buy it. "Fans of classic young adult ghost stories should welcome this solid offering." As a big fan of the old young adult ghost stories I was definitely intrigued. And it actually does read like and old Point Horror novel.

Our heroine is the feisty Alexis, a girl who speaks her mind, dyes her hair pink, and has a grudge with the cheerleaders for chasing her only friend away. At fifteen she's pretty lonely. She hangs out with the Goth kids at school because no one else will hang out with her, but she doesn't really like them. She hides her loneliness by focusing on her photography.

At the start of the book she's trying to get a good shot of her historic home with the moon behind it at three in the morning. Her younger sister comes out to see what she's up to. While out there they both witness a strange light floating near a tree. Alexis ushers her sister Kasey into the house but notices the light seemed to follow them.

The next night Alexis finds Kasey hiding in the basement and the girl insists Alexis tell her a story. Kasey is thirteen and obsessed with dolls, acting much younger than her age. Alexis humors her with a story that comes to her all too easily and with striking clarity. After that strange night she notices changes in Kasey's behavior. More childish, moody, using old fashioned language, and most startling the color of her eyes changing from blue to green.

Alexis tries to rationalize the strange instances and keep herself preoccupied with her photography, but then her father ends up in the hospital, and it becomes clear Kasey's planning something horrible. She finds unlikely love interest in the preppy class vice-president Carter, and a friend in her nemessis, the head cheerleader Megan.

The characters are very believable and three dimensional. There's more to Carter and Megan than what meets the eye. The story is pretty much a typical ghost story but Alexis is a very witty narrator and makes you want to read more about her. The ending was cleaned up a little too neatly but it is a first novel so I can forgive that. Overall I enjoyed it and would recommend it to anyone who's a fan of the old ghost stories. ^_^

Friday, July 16, 2010

SVC Chapter One + SV Ficlet

As some of you out there may have heard, the first chapter of SV Confidential has been released. For those of you who live in a cave go here. And for those of you who don't know, I'm a rabid SV fan. Mostly SVH.

I have read it, and though I see most people hated it, I loved it and can't wait to read more.

*SPOILERS* Highlight to read!

So Liz has left her idyllic life in SV to live in gritty NYC. Why? Because Todd cheated on her AGAIN with her bitch sister. I get this. Todd's a cheat. He cheated on Liz repeatedly with Jessica, whom he must've felt some kind of affection for even though he acted like he hated her all the time. Remember when he had the little secret affair with her when he lived in Vermont. Why this would shock Liz so much she fled across the country is the real question.

She's sexually active. They actually use Elizabeth in the same sentence as orgasm, which I think is the real kicker for why most people didn't like it. It kind of shocked me too. I was reading it at work and had to dart my head around to make sure nobody could see my screen. :p And Liz cries after every orgasm. That's just so.... SO Liz.T

he writing's not great. not like it ever was. There's a lot of name dropping more like the young adult books of today, which people seem to have a problem with. I don't really care. I usually don't know what the hell they're talking about most the time anyway so I just ignore it.

What I do really like is that Liz's best remaining friend from Sweet Valley is Bruce Patman. I love this. And I can so see it. Back in SVH during the Almost Married series they seemed to have a real connection and I can see that blossoming into friendship later on. Plus this means Bruce is definitely a main character which excites me more than anything. I love Bruce.

So, yeah, whatever, I thought it was interesting and now cannot wait for it to come out.

And it got me thinking about a little fanfic Amanda and I started when we first heard about Sweet Valley Confidential. It was kind of our own version of the "ten years later." Everybody was brought back together by the upcoming wedding between Tom McKay and Jeffrey French. We didn't get too far with it but here's the first scene. We tried to make it a similar writing style. Eventually I really want to go back and work on it. ^_^

Old Flames

“Jenessa,” Jessica Wakefield called to her daughter. Jenessa Wakefield looked up with disgust in her blue-green eyes at the sound of her mother’s voice. “You’re going to the doctor today to get your vaccination so you can start Kindergarten!” Jessica said enthusiastically.

“No I’m not.”

Jessica’s smile faltered. “Yes you are.”

“Not,” she said as she stuck her tongue out at her mother.

“You’re going to the doctor and that’s it! Now shut up!”

“Jessica, I don’t know if that’s the best tactic to take with a child,” Elizabeth Wakefield said. She was sitting at the table helping Jessica’s seven-year-old son, Noah Wakefield, with his homework.

“Like you know anything about parenting,” Jessica spat.

“Maybe I don’t have any kids of my own, but I don’t recall Mom and Dad ever yelling at us like that.”

“How do you know how they talked to me. You were always the perfect one who never got in any trouble. They always liked you better!”

Elizabeth sighed and turned back to Noah’s homework. Sometimes it was difficult to ignore how dissimilar the sisters were. From their luscious sun-streaked blond hair to the dazzling blue-green eyes the color of the Pacific ocean, to their beautiful, perfect, size six bodies they were identical in every way. Despite their identical appearances, however, she and Jessica were as different as night and day. Though they were only four minutes apart, it might as well have been four years. Elizabeth, always the responsible sister, worked as a journalist for the Sweet Valley News and frequently found herself watching Jessica’s two illegitimate children while her sister went to parties and clubs. Jessica didn’t work at all, preferring to live off child support and state welfare.

Once again directing her rage at her five-year-old daughter, Jessica bellowed. “Go put your shoes on or you’re not eating for a week!”

Pouting, but recognizing the seriousness behind the threat, Jenessa sighed and stomped her feet, marching out of the room to find her shoes.

Jessica looked back at Elizabeth with a triumphant smile. After a moment, she asked, “So what are your plans for the day?”

“Jeffrey and I are supposed to be having lunch and then we’re going to be looking at color samples.

“Why are you helping him with the color samples?”

“Well, I am his maid of honor, so naturally it’s part of my job to help with arrangements for the wedding.”

“Shouldn’t Tom have some say in it?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “You know men. He’s being all hands off.”

Smirking, Jessica said, “Well I don’t know about you, but guys are usually pretty hands-on with me.”

Elizabeth sighed again. “Doesn’t Jenessa have a doctor’s appointment you should be going to?”

“Oh, fuck! Jenessa, get in here! You’re gonna make us late!”

“I’m coming, Mother!” Jenessa belted back.

As Jessica shuffled the little girl out the door, Elizabeth asked Noah, “Do you know the answer to number five?”

“Four,” Noah said in a bored tone.

Not for the first time, Elizabeth wondered how Jessica’s son could be so intelligent. Noah not only maintained above 100% grades, but he was part of the accelerated math, reading, and science programs at Sweet Valley Elementary. Any suggestion that it may be due to the boy’s father remained speculation, however, as Jessica refused to give a name. If pressured, Jessica’s flippant response was always, “He’s Todd’s,” which Elizabeth could not believe to be true.

“Can I take a break now,” Noah asked softly, looking out the window.

“I guess. Why don’t you go out and play with your friends?”

“Because I don’t have any. Justin from next door used to come over, but his mother said he couldn’t any more because Mom’s a slut,” the boy answer dejectedly.

Elizabeth wanted to defend her sister, but the years of lying were already wearing heavily on her conscience. “Well, why don’t you watch cartoons?”

“OK, Aunt Lizzy.”

Alone at the kitchen table, Elizabeth sighed once more. She didn’t mind doing favors for Jessica, but she hoped her sister would try to be on time getting home. She’d been looking forward to having lunch with Jeffrey French all week. Far from harboring an old flame for her ex, she appreciated his company and felt a kinship with him: he and Tom McKay were so similar to herself and Todd that she couldn’t help but feel connected to him. It had come as a great surprise to her when Jeffrey started dating Tom, but she loved him like a sister and did everything she could to reassure him of his choice.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Terrible Tales of Horror: The Diabolical One

What happened to Any Way the Wind Blows? Well, unfortunately I seem to have misplaced it somewhere. Oh. Darn. But never fear, I don’t believe it’s truly lost, merely it’s somewhere I haven’t thought to look yet. But until I find it I’ll skip ahead and post some mercifully shorter tales featuring bad writing at it’s best.

Today we have The Diabolical One, a heartwarming tale of demonic possession and self-sacrifice, started way way back in 1997. I didn’t get very far with this one, I only wrote the same scene three different times, but I do have nice detailed summary of how the story was supposed to go.

My initial notes:

The Diabolical One

Characters: Laura Carsen, Molly Carsen, Scott Mathews, Kevin Elsworth, Shannon Williams. The Diabolical One: Laura Carsen

Laura: 13 years old. Shoulder length blond hair. Curelean
[I sure was fond of that color] blue eyes.

Molly: 15 years old. Short brown hair that went down to her chin. Hazel eyes.

Scott: 15 years old. Brown hair. Light green eyes.

Kevin: 16 years old. Chin length dirty blond hair. Blue eyes.

Shannon: 15 years old. Long red hair that goes down to the small of her back. And brillian jade green eyes.

Laura is out to destroy the entire human race. Laura and Molly are sisters. Scott is Molly’s boyfriend. Laura likes Scott. Shannon is Molly’s best friend. Kevin hangs out with them. Laura is a vamparic creature, but not really, she’s not really a vampire. She feeds off human flesh, not blood. [So she’s a zombie? I wrote a zombie story? Awesome!] She is a demon and is not to be trusted.
First Draft:


Laura Carsen made her way down the winding, twisting path made of stone that went several miles down below the serface, in silence.

It felt like a dream to sweet Laura. Everythign looked fuzzy, as if she were dreaming. But she supposed it was just the lack of oxygen.

“Why did I agree to this,” Sweet Laura [What’s with all this Sweet Laura crap?] murmered into the wind, pushing a strand of her shoulder-length platinum blond hair out of her porceline face. I wish Molly and Shannon were here, she found herself thinking.

“And Scott,” she added out loud. Especially Scott. Scot was bad. Not like all the other losers she knew. Laura could see what Molly saw in him.

Laura was a beautiful girl with as sweet personality, [She can't be that sweet if she likes her sister's boyfriend because he's "bad."] like her nickname said. Sweet Laura. Scot thad given her the nickname. Scott Anthony Mathews, her older sister’s boyfriend.

He’s only two years older than me, Laura thought. Sweet Laura herself was 13.

Why am I doing this? Why am I going into a freeky old cave which no one’s been in for twenty years, if that story is even true.

The counseler of their cabin--Carol--told them--Genine, Cater [Got that name out of an SVH book], Melanie--a story the night before.

It was about a girl named Crystal who went down to the caves 19 years earlier on a dare. No one knew what happened. The girls who were waiting at the top of the path into the cave said they didn’t here a scream, she just disappeared, into thin air, they said.

But now it was Sweet Laura’s turn. Sweet, sweet Laura, who made her way to the bottom of the path where vines reached down from the opening, as if they were waiting for the next poor unsuspecting child to walk in and become nothingness.

Well their not gonna get me.

Laura grabbed on fiercely to a section of the vines and pulled it down. “There.”

Laura walked in with her hands on her hips. “What a dump,” she murmered.

There was a rather large hold in the middle of the ground. Bones and skeletons all over the place. Bloodstains on the ground. [And she’s not running back the way she came? Moron! You deserve all the bad things that happen to you.]

Laura jerked her head up. What was that? She thought she saw something move in the corner. Carefully, she walked over, wary not to step in anything she’d regret. “Is anybody there? Genine? Is that you?”

Laura. Sweet Laura.

Her last thought in her moment of sanity. No. It can’t be. . .

* * * * *
Part One

Chapter One

Four Weeks Later

Shannon Williams and Molly Carsen sat in the Carsen’s driveway waiting for Molly’s mother to come back with Laura.

“So why’s Sweet Laura coming back from camp early?” Shannon asked.

Molly shrugged. “I don’t know. Mom said something about her being sick and not participating in activities, or some shit like that.”


Molly layed back and hit her head on the pavement. “Ow!”

“Well you should’ve been more gentle.” She patted the driveway. “this ain’t a mattress, you know.” [I think I liked Laura better.]

“I know. I hate being such a clutz. It’s just that Molly’s such a clutzy name.”

“I like it.”

“You would. Why can’t I have a pretty name like yours, or Laura’s.” [Well I guess you can tell how I felt about the name Molly.]

“What’s so good about Shannon? It’s normal. I know six other Shannon’s, I only know one Molly.” [The only Molly I’ve ever known was a ferret.]

“Yeah, but all the Shannon’s you know are pretty, you’re pretty. I’m just a plain jane.”

It was true, after all.

Molly had short, thick medium brown hair she wore down to her chin, dark ollive skin and almond shaped brown eyes, a complete opposite of Laura’s looks. Molly was also very short, being 15 and five foot two.

Shannon was five foot six, with long cherry red hair that went down to the middle of her back that went nicely with her catlike emerald green eyes.

Shannon looked at Molly strangely and layed down too.

“that cloud over there looks like. . . .” Molly trailed off giggling.

Shannon looked over. “I don’t see anything but a puffy white cloud.”

"Of course you wouldn’t see it, Shannon. You’re still a virgin.” [Burn.]

* * * * *

Scott Mathews sat in the passenger seat while his cousin, Kevin Elsworth drove.

“I know this girl who would be perfect for you. Now before you say anything, Kevy, I wnt you to know she’s very nice, and very beautiful, and I know you two will get along great.” [Scott already sounds like a douche.]

“If she’s so wonderful, why aren’t you with her?”

“I got’s me my Molly,” he shrugged. [Are they supposed to be southern hicks or something? Let‘s go with it. Southern zombies!!! w00t!] “And besides, Shannon’s still mad at me for nearly running her over when I was driving my Dad’s truck.”

“She she has a name, Shannon. Do I have anything in common with Shannon?”

“Yeah Molly says since you’re a Pisces, and she’s a Scorpio, you two like the water, and we live by a lake, if you know what I mean?” [I hope Kevy does, cause I sure don’t.]

“Well, no. Your parents died three months ago, hers di9ed three yeas ago. Both in plain crashes.”
[End of draft one. Not too terrible. The beginning was okay minus the Sweet Laura crap. Let’s see what came next.]
Second Draft:

Prologue - July

Laura Carsen walked down the curving vine covered walkway to the Diabolical One’s lair with care. She didn’t want to be the next sacrifice to the demon. She didn’t’ deserve that. No one deserved that. Except maybe Molly. It was her sister’s fault that Laura was there. [Thank God I dropped the Sweet Laura. But for some reason Laura now seems to hate Molly. *shrug*]

Why did I agree to this?, Laura thought. Two weeks before, Janeen Nelson had gone down to The Diabolical One’s [TM] lair. When she had come back, she was different. Evil almost. But she died before they could know what had happened to her down in the lair. And now Laura was praying to God that she would never find out.

I’m only 13, she thought. I don’t need this.

Holding a glowing torch in her hand she quietly moved downward till she saw some strange markings on the wall.

“What the hell?” Laura muttered.

They were of some kind of beast. He had claws for hands, horns for ears. He was large and hair and had some kind of blackish vapor around him.

[Something like this guy.]

“Weird.” Forgetting the drawing, Laura continued. Several minutes later, Laura made her way to an opening in the wall. Stepping inside, Laura looked around. Raising the torch, Laura screamed.

Inside the opening was a horror beyond belief. Laura with her white blond hair pulled up in a ponytail so tight, her big cerelean blue eyes raging wide with terror, Laura dropped the torch.

Hush, hush, sweet, sweet, Laura. [The sweet reared it’s ugly head after all.]

* * * * *

Chapter One - August

“So when’s Laura getting here,” Shannon Williams asked her best friend Molly Carsen.

“Today. Sometime.” Molly shrugged.

Shannon layed back on the asphault and sighed. She’d be getting her liscense in a few months, and she couldn’t wait. No more of her father [Guess she’s not an orphan anymore?] driving with her, telling her to do this, and to do that. Goodbye drivers permit.

“Shannon,” Molly started in a pitiful voice. “Do you think your father loves you?”

Oh no, Shannon thought. Molly was playing the “nobody loves me” game. “Why do you ask, Moll?”

“Simple. My parents love Laura more then they love me.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Why do I think that? Gee, I don’t know, Shannon,” Molly said sarcastically. “But it couldn’t possibly be my loosk could it?” she said with an emphases on the word possibly. [Can Molly be anymore melodramatic? I’m beginning to think this was the first draft.]

Shannon knew that Molly’s looks weren’t on the gorgeous side, and that Molly thought her parents were disappointed that she was no beauty. Not like Laura.

Laura was perfect. Her beautifully silk like blond hair. Her eyes were that beautiful cerelean blue that was seldom ever found except in babies. She was an honor roll student, and was very popular in Jr. High. And when she went into High school the next year, Shannon suspected she would be equally liked.

But Molly was the opposite. She had muddy brown hair that had no shine. Her eyes were a dull brown. Her skin was fair, unlike Laura’s tanned, and she almost always had a sunburn. Molly’s hair was cropped short, unlike Laura’s long, silky, locks. It was truly sad.

“But I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Shannon. You’ve never had that problem. Your parents love you. You’re gorgeous. You’re an only child. You’re so damn lucky it makes me sick.” [Shut the fuck up Molly. No wonder your parents don’t like you.]

By now, Shannon had learned to deal with molly bys imply agreeing with her. “Yes. You’re absolutely right.” But she couldn’t say Molly was completely wrong. Shannon didn’t consider herself “gorgeous.” [Most pretty girls don’t. Thus ends our first draft which was masquerading as the second. I feel misled. That was horrible. On to the next.]
Third Draft:

Chapter 1 - A Sweet Summer’s Night [This title would later be reused on one of the Dear Sister rewrite’s. I’m just so original!]

Laura Carpenter [No longer Carsen, I see.] crept silently down the narrowing stone walkway. It was only a dare, nothing should happen to her. It was a sweet summer night, the kind that penetrates into the soul. But never was there a souless existed it could penetrate into itself in the way of the twisted shadows that crept upon Laura’s back. [What. The. Hell. Was I drunk when I wrote this?]

“Laura,” it said. “Sweet sad Laura. Won’t you come and join me, darling? Will ya, honey? Please?” Laura heard it, yes she did. But for a long time afterwards, she pretended it never existed. Much like It pretended to Laura that she had ventured down into the unknown abyss.

“Laura,” It cooed.

“No! Stay away from me!” she screamed. It heard her, yes It did. But could a creature that never was to anybody but itself hear anything at all?

Laura ran, she ran as fast as her long legs could take her. Out of the cave. Out of the woods. Into her cabin and grabbed her notebook. Laura suddenly knew. She was just like Coryleen. But no. she couldn’t be.

Laura stood up. Why should she be afraid of a mystery? She had always loved to be involved in a conspiracy.

[And that’s where I left off. That one was kind of interesting. And now for the detailed summary I wrote in eighth grade.]

The Diabolical One

Main Characters; Shannon Williams, molly Carsen, Laura Carsen, Scott Mathews, Kevin Elsworth.

It beings in the summer before school starts at the summer camp Laura’s at. The girls in her bunk are telling ghost stories. Two of the girls are talking about the Evil One’s Lair, which is in a cave in the woods. Their saying how they found it but didn’t go in. Laura’s telling them their cowards, and they dare her to go in. she does, and when she doesn’t come out after a hwile, they get scared and run away. Laura has fallen into the Evil One’s Lair and It comes inside her and posesses her. Not a piece of it, but all of it. Laura does come back, but she’s not the same Laura who went into the Lair.

Meanwhile in the town, Scott come to town. Kevin [I got Kevin and Scott mixed up when I wrote this. They were just that unmemorable.] decides to set him up with his girlfriend Molly’s best friend Shannon. He thinks they have a lot in common. Scott’s parents died three months earlier in a plane crash and Shannon’s died the same way there years earlier. [Because sharing your grief over your parents death is the healthiest foundation for a relationship.] They go on a double date and Scott and Shannon hit it off. Scott is 16. Kevin, Molly and Shannon are 15. Laura is 13. Scott has dirty blond hair he wears down to his chin, and grey eyes. [By complete coincidence, my first boyfriend ended up looking exactly how I pictured Scott.] Kevin has short brown hair and brown eyes. Molly and Laura do not look anything alike. Laura has long honey blond hair and bright blues eyes. There is something in Shannon’s facial features that is similar. [You know where this is going. If you don’t, you haven’t been paying enough attention. If it’s not completely convoluted, I probably plagiarized it.] One night after they start dating, Shannon and Scott go skinny dipping in the lake and wind up making love under a tree on the shore.

When Laura comes back, she obviously not the same girl who left. Molly and her parents are worried about her and take her to the doctor. He finds nothing wrong with her [Demonic possession doesn’t show up on CT scans, btw.] They take her home. One by one, skinless bodies of people are turning up, and Molly notices that Laura disappears every night. So she decides to follow her. Laura meets her best friend and some boy Molly’s never seen before, but looks to be around Laura’s age. She continues to follow them and sees that they are the killers. Upset about what she’s seen, [mostly about them eating the flesh off the bodies, I’m assuming.] Molly runs to Scott and Kevin’s. By this time, half the people in town had left. Molly’s parents want to leave. Kevin and Scott take her home and Molly’s parents are packing up. They heard about her latest murder and they’re yelling at her for being out of the house that late at night and where’s Laura. Molly convinces them to go to West Virginia [they are southern!] without her and that her and Laura would go with them when Molly found Laura. Molly begs them to go and they eventually relent and go. [What kind of parents would leave? Really?]

The trio then goes over to Shannons and get her out of there [Who does she live with anyway? Her parents are dead.] and they go to an abandoned hotel to the top floor and lock all the doors and they make it so the elevaters break down and lock the emergency stairway. They talk about what Molly saw and the two boys say kill her. Molly screams no and Shannon says it sounds like Laura’s possessed [as opposed to just being a zombie.] Scott and Kevin start making jokes about the exorcist. [You can always count on teenage boys to truly be themselves amidst desperation and tragedy.] Shannon’s saying it probably happened at the camp since she was sent home early. They decide they need to go there and investigate. Since Scott’s 16, he has his liscense and can drive. They drive out there and find Genine, one of the girls who dared Laura. After yelling at her for a while, she breaks down and tells them what happened.

They go down there and find skeletons. They go back--it’s been a two day journey--and find the town a ghost town. They go back to the hotel and they decide they have to kill Laura. They go out and break into a gun shop against the girls protests and steal two shotguns, and go back to the hotel. They decide they will hunt for Laura the next day.

Molly sneaks out that night and tries to find Laura. She thinks he can somehow talk to her sister and get Laura to fight the demon inside here. Molly makes a noise as she leaves which wakes up Shanon, who doesn’t go investigate until the noise stops--she’d always been a light sleeper--thinks about what Molly said about Laura having a doctors appointment. One with her aunt, who was a doctor. She wonders if her aunt found anything wrong with Laura, so she breaks into the hospital. Once in, she looks out the window and sees Laura’s best friend chasing some guy doesn’t the street. She suddenly thinks of vampires and owners if Laura is some sort of one, and goes down to the morgue. She takes the droors out and put a little crucifix on each of the skinless ones. She then goes to her aunts computer and looks up Laura Carsen. Her aunt had said Laura was quiet and withdrawn, unusually pale considering that she’d spent a whole month at camp. But the most interesting part was her blood type; AB-. Molly’s blood type was O+. Shannon double checks. Then checks Molly and Laura’s parents blood types; A- and B-. she then checks her own parents; A+, O+. Shannon’s own was AB-. Shannon and Molly were born on the same day in the same hospital. Both delivered by the same doctor. She then realizes that her and Molly were switched at birth. [I was real into this plot contrivance.] But before she went to the hospital, she went to her favorite new age store to look up demonic possession. She found the certain think about Laura and they were sort of vampire. But they didn’t rise from the dead after their skin had been torn off and eaten. They have to drive the spirit into a sibling of the possessed one and kill that person to close the door to their soul. Anyway, someone had to die.

Meanwhile Molly does find Laura, but Laura attacks her and tries to eat her. Kevin wakes up and sees that Molly’s gone, wakes up Scott and Shannon’s gone. They get their shotguns and go look for the girls. Kevin sees Molly and Laura and shoots at Laura, which doesn’t hit her, and she runs away. They go over to Molly and help her up. Laura had taken a bite out of her arm and Kevin takes his shirt off and ties it around her arm and they go look for Shannon. They find her coming from the hospital a little dazed. They ask her what she was doing. And then start yelling at her for going wherever she did by herself. Then she says she knows how to save Laura and Molly asks her how. She tells her and Kevin says no Let’s kill the bitch. Molly ain’t dying for her. And Shannon agrees. Then Molly says she wouldn’t mind dying for Laura. And Shannon tells her it wouldn’t do any good. Molly asks why and Shannon says because Molly’s not Laura’s sister. And then explains about the blood types and that her and Molly were switched at birth. If anybody was ogi9nt o save Laura, it would have to be Shannon. Scott says hell no, but Shannon looks over to the horizon and the sunrise. Afterwards they go back to the hotel. Each have nightmares and Shannon wakes up and leaves. She thinks she doesn’t have as much to live for as Laura. The people she had grown up with as her parents were dead. The woman she had grown up with as her aunt was dead. Even though she loved Scott, she knew she could never live peacefully knowing she had the power to save Laura. [So she’s going to martyr herself.] She finds Laura bout the time Kevin, Scott and Molly wake up and go look for her.

Her and Laura have a battle of wills in a house where Shannon had found some cleaning chemicals and is going to drink them. She has her mind made up. Scott, Kevin, and Molly find Laura and Shannon fighting and try to break them apart. When the change occurs and Shannon breaks out of Scott’s grasp and runs into the house where she drinks the poison and kills herself. Outside Laura collapses and starts crying. Scott runs in after Shannon and gets the just in time to catch her as she falls into her arms, Dead. [So dramatic.] They are like vampires as when the original dies, they go back to normal as well. Scott sits in the kitchen holding Shannon, until Kevin, Molly, and Laura come inside. They bury her under the tree where she and Scott made love and they engrave her name, birth and death, and a little sentiment and have e little funeral. It ends with Kevin with her arm around Molly with her arms around Laura and Scott a little to the side, they walk into the East.

[I can totally see this as a zombie movie. It’s got sex, zombies, and melodrama melodrama melodrama! Let’s leave off with a snapshot from Kevin (formerly Scott) and Molly’s wedding.]

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

An Amusing Passage

I was going through some of my older stories and I stumbled upon one I started writing when I was fifteen called First Love, True Lies. It's actually a kind of funny romance (a far cry from what I usually write, yes), about a girl who keeps falling for guys too old for her and lying about her age. It was pretty funny actually and I'd really like to go back and finish it someday, but I was reading over it and a certain part caught my eye.

Keep in mind, I wrote this in 1999.

“I've finally figured it out, Kim,” she was saying as I searched my locker for my finished Economics homework.

“What?” I muttered absentmindedly, digging through the growing pile of papers in the bottom of the locker.

“Today's fashion,” she went on. “What they don't want you to know.”

“Discovered another conspiracy, Bethie?” I asked. There was my math homework. So the economics stuff had to be somewhere close by.

“Exactly. A few years ago those baggy pants hanging down your ass was the biggest thing ever. But the school boards outlawed them.”

I could see it! There was a piece of the damn paper hanging out way up from the tip top shelf. If I could just reach it...

Dean must've stuck it up there, I thought. Dean was the best friend of my locker partner and loved to make my life miserable. I fixed my feet on the bottom inside of the locker and tried for the paper.

“So then the fashion people didn't know what to do. Here they had all these years worth of baggy pants to sell but their prime market couldn't wear them to school. They were in deep shit. So they came up with the bright idea to just recycle fashion from the sixties, and they'll keep going till they get back to the nineties and start again.”

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.” Just one inch further. “I got it!” I squealed, just as I slipped and hurled back onto the cold cold floor. My English book and stacks and stacks of papers poring out on top of me.

“But I got it,” I said proudly holding the paper towards her, noticing that it had torn and a large chunk of it was sitting caught in the hinge. “Dammit.”

“Were you even listening to me?” she moaned.

I noticed the stares now and decided to get up. “Will you help me stick my stuff back in there.”

“You are truly hopeless, you know that?”

“You keep telling me. It oughtta stick someday.”

“So,” I went on as we piled the papers back into the locker. “If they keep recycling styles and get to the eighties,does that mean guys will dress in tight leather pants and have hair a mile high?”

“I'd like to see Jake like that,” Beth giggled.

“I can see Marty and Dean dressed like that.”


“Heals.” We both giggled like mad at the last one.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Guess Beth was right. :p

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Last Vampire Returns!!!!!

For those of you out there like me who had an unhealthy obsession with Christopher Pike may remember a little story he wrote about a special girl called The Last Vampire. For those of you unfamiliar with the work of Pike let me give you a little recap.

Once upon a time a little aryan girl named Sita was born in rural India around 3000BC.

Her father and some evil priests raised an evil spirit into the body of a dead infant, thus creating the first vampire, Yaksha. But the fun's only just beginning!

He grows up and is the toast of the village, being all sexy with pretty blue eyes, but has those pretty eyes set on Sita. He creates a following of vampires and forces her to become one against her will, threatening her with killing her husband and child.

Around this time Krishna's on the loose spreading messages of peace and love and Yaksha decides it would be fun to challenge him. He loses and Krishna makes him promise to destroy all the vampires he created and he'll let him die with his grace. On the other hand he tells Sita that as long as she doesn't make another vampire he will give her his grace, thus putting Yaksha and Sita against each other. That crazy Krishna. Always playing games.

Yaksha and Sita wind up going their separate ways (that was an awesome song by Journey, by the way), neither knowing what Krishna told the other.

So anyways, 5000 years later Sita by a wacky set of circumstances she finds herself a high school student in Oregon. She has to get close to a certain handsome classmate to find out more about his dad who she killed when he tried to blackmail her. His name is Ray and he's whiny and annoying and I don't really understand what she sees in him, not when the clever and funny Seymour is around. Imagine Winston Egbert, only sexier and with HIV. She cures him with her magic blood and he is forever grateful. She also hooks up with Ray.

Yaksha tracks her down. After 5000 years he's tired of living and wants to die, but he wants to kill her first, so he makes Ray fall out a window so Sita will break her vow not to make another vampire. She does and Ray is an even more whiny and annoying vampire. She tricks Yaksha into making him think all three of them with perish together by blowing up her house but she and Ray design pop up chairs that make them go flying through the roof.

After that a psycho named Eddie who works at a morgue and likes to make girls suck popsicles on their knees while he's naked wearing his high school letter jacket. To this day I wonder if popsicle was a euphanism for penis. He makes himself a vampire and drinks his mother's blood along with a bunch of people in LA. the murders attract Sita's attention and she and Ray go to LA to investigate. She finds Yaksha in an ice cream truck and finishes him off, drinking him dry, which gives her all sorts of magical powers. Ray dies in an explosion with Eddie and Sita is rescued by an acquainted FBI agent named Joel. The FBI take her and Joel into custody to Area 51.

She escapes and starts fooling around with one of the scientists who works there who actually is an old blast from he past named Arturo, who thought she possessed the blood of Christ back in the dark ages and liked to play around with it using alchemy. He made himself a psuedo-vamp, where he still needs to drink blood but has been aging slowly over the last 800 years and now looks like a middle aged man. He takes her back to area 51 where she sets off another nuclear explosion, but she's able to turn herself into vapor and floats out of it.

Then she uses Arturo's magic alchemic crystals she turns herself back into a human!

After that she meets Ray again, who apparently survived the atomic blast. Then it turns out she's pregnant!

She convinces herself the baby's Ray's and it grows at an abnormally fast rate. While pregnant, though, she meets a woman who's name I cannot remember, but who's pregnant by immaculate conception. The baby's a bloodthirsty monster named Kalika whom Sita has to kill people to get enough blood for, including a some poor kid with a heart condition. Kalika grows up very fast and is a woman before the end of the book. And Ray's actually a Phantom Sita created because she was lonely.

After that Sita goes on a quest to kill her daughter because she thinks she's evil based on a bunch of tampered phophecies and that she wants to kill her friends daughter, who is the next incarnation of Christ. Seymour got mortally wounded some time around here and she made him a vampire. He solved the issue of his virginity and ditched the glasses. Seymour, I would've loved you. Kalika gets killed by an evil snaky guy and Sita discovers she was trying to protect the baby all along.

Things die down in wackiville and Sita is approached by a spaceship full of humanoid aliens.

Yes, aliens. At least if my memory from twelve years ago when I read the books serves me correct. Anyways, they want her to go back in time and kill a bad Italian guy who's castrated. She does and accomplishes her mission but on the way back she plays with time to go back to when Yaksha was being raised in a rotting carcus of a baby and stabs him so he can never hurt anybody again, and she can live the life she originally wanted, with her husband and child, leaving to Seymour to die of Aids never knowing the pleasures of a woman. The end?

Not for long! I have just discovered that following the rereleased versions with pretty new covers--albeing Sita has green eyes on them when her eyes are blue. They're fucking BLUE!!! But I can learn to ignore the little things.--Pike is coming out with a new Last Vampire tale.

Thirst #3: The Eternal Dawn. there's no summery yet but one can imagine. When the Tales of Terror came out Pike stated in one of the little author's notes that Sita was writing her own stories, her early days. So it could perhaps be tales of her adventures over her 5000 year long life. Or maybe the aliens erased her killing Yaksha so she'd have to come back to the present because there was unfinished business with the God Baby. Who knows? But it's coming out in October and I for one am excited. ^_^ Hopefully it will be better than the godawful sequel to The Vampire Diaries that came out last year.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 4: Beware: Rape scene

This story is making less and less sense as I go! :p

Chapter 4: Scavenger Hunt
Justify Full
Sarah’s eleventh birthday approached quickly. It was held on April 14, 1978. [My dad died on April 14. Why I thought it would be an appropriate birthday I have no idea.] It was fun. [Not really. Kelly's a liar.] Sarah and I had become friends with Elsie MacNicols.

What Sarah had said had been true. Elsie’s father, Troy, and Angela’s mother, Sheila, had gotten married.

And now Sarah was eleven, and I was still ten. [She can do math!] But I would be eleven in two months. I have no idea why but Sarah invited Xena, Mara, and Kyle. I think in her own twisted little way, Sarah was making their lives miserable. [Because that makes perfect sense.] I couldn’t blame her.

But when Sarah’s mother announced the scavenger hunt. Things got strange.

“Now, children,” Julie Plummer [Wasn’t it Fear?] began, “we’re going to have lot’s of fun having a scavenger hunt.” All the kids there were. “I have decided that you will work in pairs. And I’ve made a list of who those pairs are.” She cleared her throat. [This woman runs a modeling agency…] “Pair #1; Sarah and Jimmy. “air #2; Elsie and Derika. #3; Hanna and Frank. #4; Xena and Mara. #5; Laura and Angela. #6; Kelly and Kyle.”

What? I thought. Why did I have to get stuck with him? What did I ever do? Why did I deserve this? [Well, for one, you bit Xena’s wrist and licked her blood.]

I felt someone’s eyes on my back, so I turned around. “I guess we’re partners, Trailor Trash.” It was Kyle.

“Don’t call me Trailor Trash, Kyle,” I said.

“Since when do you get up telling me what to do?”

“You used a double negative.” [No he didn’t.]

“Shut up, Kelly.” [Please]

I wondered why I respected him. [how long this crap? …I’m only on page 29!!! This things over 100 pages.]


We had a strange list I think; but it wasn’t really even a list at all. It was clues. Our first clue was “Where they part and return together, is where you’ll find me.”

“What do you think it means?” I asked Kyle, although I didn’t think he had the slightest clue. Well, neither did I.

“I think it means the river.” [Yeah, that’s totally what I get from that…]

The river, I thought. I should have known. Kyle was smarter than I thought. It was a screwed up world. “All right. We’ll go to the Conononka River.”

And we walked three whole miles north, to where the river was. [Because a mom would totally set up a scavenger hunt in that wide of an area for ten-year-olds. Well, Julie isn't exactly the brightest crayon int he box.] We got to where it broke apart and walked up to where it went back together. [I have the Fear Street map somewhere, and because I'm annoyingly anal every event took place on a chosen spot of the map.] “Well, what do we do?” Kyle was a very impatient guy, and he was getting on my nerves.

“Shut up,” I said.

“Don’t you talk to me that way, Kelika Coffield.”

“You know my real name.” I murmered. And he just stared at me. Surprised.

“It came to me in a dream,” he said. Then it hit me. I knew what he was. He was what my kind [What is your kind, anyway? You seem to be one of a kind.] called a sensitive. [terminology from the Last Vampire!] That doesn’t mean he has sensitive feelings, it means he has something of a radar system.

I sat down on the rail of the bridge that went across the river. “Tell me about the dream.”


“I want to hear it.”


“I need to know.”

“Know what?”

“Just stuff.” I looked up at the sky. “Now what the fuck was your dream about?” I was getting pissed off.

“I don’t want to tell you.” He couldn’t even look me in the eye as he said that. And I knew at once the dream was profane. [Prepubescent wet dreams! You know you're excited now!] And I thought, Kyle Bradley had an erotic dream about me. It struck me as funny, so I started laughing. “Shut up, Kelly!”

“How old were we?” I was getting really interested.

“Teenagers,” he mumbled. This was getting interesting. Then he started walking. I followed.

“Hey, Kyle, where ya going.”

“If Kelika is your real name, maybe that cemetary is real.”

Cemetary? What cemetery? The only cemetery I knew of was the one down the street from my house. “What do you mean?” I asked as I caught up with him.

“If it’s there, you’ll find out.”


Kyle and I walked the four miles to the spot, [Scavenger hunt has been completely forgotten. And considering how long it must’ve taken them to walk seven miles the party’s probably over and people are probably looking for them. Kyle, anyway.] Kyle was right. It was there. It was old and was littered with weeks. But you could make out the rocks with little words inscribed in them. One in particular drew my attention, and I knew as I walked over there that that was the place where we had had sex in Kyle’s dream. [In the cemetery? Sick!]

I neeled down and looked at the little inscription. It was small and tiney, inscribed in it was the name of a person.

Here Lies

It was a strange inscription. “Let me guess what it says,” Kyle said. “Here lies Starla. 1882. Beloved Goddess.”

I looked at him. “How did you know that.”

He walked up and sat next tot me. “It was in my dream.”

“It must have been one helluva dream.”

He stared at the ground. “It sure was.”

I think Kyle and I made a true connection right then. One that never left us for the rest of our lives. Even after I died, we had a connection. [So she’s writing this from beyond the grave? mmkay.] “You know what I am, don’t you?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” Kyle turned and looked at me. “Kelly,” he looked back at the gravestone, “I’m not exactly sure what you are, [I don’t even think I knew.] but I know that you’re not human. I also know about your soul.”

I looked at him, and at that moment I think I fell partially in love with him, and I realized one day that we will be together. [This is the part where you’re supposed to go “Awww” because it was supposed to be romantic. Yeah.] “Do you know Fat Freddy?” Yet another thing I say that came out of the blue.

“Sure as hell do,” he said.

“Life sucks.”

“Only yours.”

I turned to look at him. Kyle was my equal. [Please enlighten me] “What do you mean?”

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You should really pay more attention to your dreams, Kelika.” And he was gone. [So she started out the day as “Trailor Trash,” and now she’s getting sweet little kisses? Well, this story was my fantasy.]
Maybe I should, I thought. But why? How on earth could I I learn any more than I already have. [What the hell is she talking about? I think Kelly's got a few psychological disorders going on and this is all actually taking place in her head, as she's been locked up in a mental insitute since the day she got the magic ring from Mars.]


That night when I had my dream, I took Kyle’s advice and paid more attention to my dreams.

I was seeing this as a whole, and through the view of a young woman. She was very pretty. The woman had long platinum blond hair, and a very fair complexion.

“Starla,” a deep voice said. Starla looked up at him. She looked about sixteen or seventeen and had my eyes. For some reason that frightened me. “I” looked up at him. The guy looked like Kratine. [And when did you ever SEE Kratine?] No, he was Kratine.

“Yes, Kratine.”

“You have been a naughty little girl.”

“Yes, I know.” I could tell Starla did not want to be there. There? Where was there? What the hell was I talking about. MARS!

I was on the planet Mars. In my first life. No, it was not in my first life. If it was, it would not have been earlier than the nineteenth century. [WTF?]

I was screwed. [This seems to be a recuring theme.]

“Now, Starla,” Kratine began, “we both know you’ve been bad, so you don’t have to hide it any more.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But, do you know what I do to bad little girls?”


“I hurt them.”

“How?” I was afraid to know.

“How old are you Starla?”

“32 cycles.”

“Why, your still very young.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Have you conceived yet?” [I think I had conceived mixed up with consummated.]


“Then that’s how.”

“No!” [Here comes the rape scene...]

But it was too late. Over the minutes the two were talking, I went into Starla’s memories, and found out what she had done. Starla had left Mars to see how her planet was, and without asking. [And why did the bitch come back? She's a fucking moron.]

Starla was from a solar system very similar to that of ours, but very far away. Her own sun was much smaller, her planet was too, and it traveled around the sun in half the time of 9ours. A year to them, was sis months to us. As Starla was 32 cycles, she was 16 years. [Everybody getting this? There will be a quiz.]

During this time, Kratine grabbed Starla by her hair and dragged her down to a canal. A canal on Mars?

And there were ruins of a what seemed to be an ancient civilization. Scientists did say that Mars could hold life up till about a million years ago. [According to the Season of Passage, anyway.]

And then I saw it. The ring. My ring! The one aunt Laurella gave to me, what had she said when she gave it to me?

“It’s from Mars. It’s a party of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s more to it than what meets the eye.”
What the hell did aunt Laurella mean?

Kratine threw Starla on the ground. Hard. “Now we’re gonna hve fun.” that worried me.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

[I’m going to omit this part as it is….disturbing. Extremely disturbing considering I wrote it. When I was twelve. But basically Kratine rapes her, he has a forked tongue and I described his penis as being “as long as a baby python. Ball python, that is. But five times rounder.” *resists urge to burn pages* It got too gross for even Kelly to narrate.]

I will not gross you out with the rest of this disgusting pool of lust, but I will tell you what happened after it.

Starla left the chamber of horrors wearing some of Kratine’s metallic clothing. For, she no longer had any of her own.

Starla borded her shuttle named CANDACE, after her sister. Aboard it, it was amazing. They had all these controls, it looked like a modern day Nintendo game. [And she was having this dream in 1978.]

I was looking around. There was one bedroom and of course, it belonged to Starla. And there was also this little cow bathroom. [oh my god! Cow bathroom! The Maxx references continue! Mr. Gone (the serial killer rapist villain in the Maxx) had a cow bathroom.] On her planet cows were a rare treat. I liked the cow bathroom.

Starla got in the CANDACE, and left for Earth. [When did this turn into a crappy scifi story?]


Since the CANDACE was a very faast moving shuttle, Starla got to Earth in a matter of hours.

Since she knew that Earthlings were primative and stupid, she made the CANDACE land into a lake. [Why wouldn’t she?]

But before it crashed, she jumped off and landed on the ground in a maze of trees. [yeah…okay…]

Starla went wander around in the trees that surrounded the lake for days. There seemed to be no end to them.

Finally, about a week later, Starla managed to find a house. It was small, and Starla could tell it sat apart from the rest of the village. [That would be kind of obvious, don’tcha think?] The perfect place for Starla to hide. She was still afraid that Kratine might find her. And hurt her. But that was silly of her. [Seems like a legit fear to me since he, you know, raped her.] Kratine couldn’t come to Earth. He was forbidden to.

But how? When? Starla knew that Kratine had been around at the beginning of mankind on Earth. Something had happened to destroy his planet. What people now call Mars.

But what really got Starla was that Kratine said Starla had something to do with.

But that was impossible. She was 32 cycles old. Mars was destroyed over a few million cycles ago. Way before she was born.

Starla bravely walked up to the cabin and knocked quite softly. At first, the person inside did not seem to hear her. But as she was about to knock again, the person answered.

She was kind of short, and had long blond hair. She looked shocked to see Starla. Of course, this was Earth.

I, Kelika Coffield, saw that Starla had my abilities, and that the girls name was Kara. She was young and in her first life. That meant she wasn’t all that brite. But surprise, surprise.

“My God,” she said. “What are you?”

“I’m a friend, Cara.” [Could never be consistent with names.]

“How do you know my name?”

“May I come in?”

“As long as you don’t hurt me.”

“Of course.” Starla walked into the cabin and looked around. It was small, but comfortable. But Kara looked petrified. “You don’t need to be afraid of me, Kara. I’m a friend. I care.”

[I wonder what Starla actually looks like. As there is yet to be a physical description aside from Kratine’s penis.]

“You didn’t answer me. How do you know my name?”

A slight shadow crossed Starla’s face. Then it disappeared. “Do you have any clothes that I may be in use to wear?”

“Yes.” She slowly walked over to Starla. “If I give them to you, will you tell me what you are?”


Starla got the clothes on and sat down in the sitting room next to Kara. “Do you really want to know what I am?”


“I am a goddess. I am your goddess.” [That line’s lifted from something Christopher Pike, but I can’t remember which one.]


The two of them became friends over time. The best of friend. And all through those five years she had never seen Kratine again. [So two adult women lived alone in a cabin for five years during the end of the nineteenth century, huh. Let’s say there was some lesbian action going on. Makes this story more interesting.]

But then one day, Starla was struck with a terminal illness, and she slowly began to whither away. But not completely. Not her soul.

“I can’t see you go like this,” Kara said to Starla. “Why does your end have to come this way.

“It’s not my end.”

“What do you mean, Starla?”

Quickly, Starla told Cara about her life. “That’s why I came to Earth.” Starla concluded.

“My God.” Kara seemed so caring, so worried. It almost made me want to cry.

“Yes, maybe,” Starla felt herself fading away. [Was that supposed to be a clever quip?]

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Yes.” And I knew I would. I always did see my friends again.


I woke up with a start. The dream frightened me. No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. A memory that never dies. [how poetic…] A member that sticks with you for the rest of your life. I hated it.

I went into my dresser drawer and got my diary.

This is what my room looked like.

[Alas, you shall not see my crappy drawings because I am too lazy to hook my scanner up.]

Quickly, I jotted down the dream of mine that you just read.

It struck me as funny that Kratine was real when all this time I just thought he was a hullucination of my inner subconscious. [And because you had a dream you were an alien and he raped you he’s suddenly real?]

Like I have thought and said many times, past, present, and future;

I was screwed.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

For Sh!ts and Giggles

I've been getting caught up on Vampire Diaries. I read the books when I was a kid and liked them well enough but didn't like them much when I reread them last year but I absolutely love the show. The new sequel sucks, by the way. Don't waste your money. It was one of the worst books I've ever read, even surprassing Fear Street's Who Killed the Homecoming Queen?

But anyway, I'm on ep five and they showed us a glimpse of Vicki's license. Why is this funny? Because I live in Virginia and the license is WRONG!!! She's under 21 so her license would be vertical, not to mention the fact that they changed them completely as of last April and the under 21 license now is beige and has flowers on it. :p I'm a dork.

Monday, March 1, 2010


After having this blog for a year and a half I just noticed I spelled cradle wrong when I signed up.

CRACLE. Beware of the Cracle!

I'm such an idiot. Xp

Friday, February 26, 2010

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 3

Chapter Three - Fifth Grade

[Moving right along...]

The day that Elsie MacNicols walked intyo my life was a day that I'll never forget.

"Class, we have a new student today. Her name is Elsie MacNicols," My teacher, Ms. Crenshaw [Ms. Crenshaw was a teacher at my elementary school whom I was never a student of.], told us. Then she went over to the black board and wrote:


Then Elsie walked in and I read her mind. I don't know why I read her mind that moment, I just did. [Since when have you been able to read minds? What the hell is this girl?]

The old bat doesn't even know how to spell my name, Elsie thought. I almost instantly felt sorry for her. So I raised my hand.

"Yes, Ms. Coffield," said Ms. Crenshaw.

"Are you sure that that's how you spell Elsie's name? It just doesn't look right?"

"It is the right spelling. Right Elsie."

"Actually, it is the wrong spelling. In Elsie, it's not spelled with a y, it's ie. And in McNicholes, ther is an a in between the M and C, and there is no h or e." Then Elsie sat down in the only empy seat avalable. Next to me. On the next page you'll see how the classroom was set up. The town was small, so there were only 20 people in the class.

[Actually you won't be seeing the crappy class diagram because my scanner is still not hooked up but it only serves to show you that Kell Bell's in the back corner between Elsie and that dreamy sexpot Kyle *swoon* with her friends Sarah and Jimmy sitting in front of them.]

That was the way we were set up. I had to sit next to Kyle. He was an ass hole. But a cute ass hole.

"OK, class," ms. Crenshaw said. "We're going to play question."

We all groaned except Elsie. We all hated this damn game. Ms. Crenshaw would ask a question, and whoever answered it would get to sk another question.

"Alright class, today is December 7, 1977, on this day, 26 year ago, what happened.

Kyle quickly raised his hand.

"Yes, Kyle."

"It was the bombing of Pearl Harbor." [Gee, I wonder what I was learning about in school... This is what I used my spotty education for.]

"That'is correct. What is your question."

"Is Kelly Coffield a virgin?"

The whole class abrupted (?) in laughter as the color drained from my face. How dare that no class peice of shit say that about me. I looked around the classroom and saw that Sarah, Laura, and Elsie were not laughing, my loyal friend and sister. And Elsie was new. How would she know what was going on.

[Thoughts going through Elsie's head: I wonder who else's virginity is in question. *bats eyes at Kyle*]

Then Xena raised her hand, the Bitch. [With a capitol B!] "I know the answer."

"Yes, Xena," Kyle said smugly.

"No. The answer is now."

[And Ms. Crenshaw's just letting this happen....]

"And why do you say that, Xena?"

"Because," she said flipping her long blond hair behind her shoulders. "There is no way in hell that kelly Coffield, of the slutty, sleazy, no good Coffield family, could be a virgin. Sluttiness is in the whore's genes." [Don't you just love kid logic. I remember my best friend when I was a kid telling me that the guy I was crushing on had sex with his mother...Just because. Except we couldn't say sex without giggling so we had 100 euphenisms for it.] She smiled smugly as half the class clapped for her.

"Well said, Xena," Kyle said. "That was well said."

I looked over at Ms. Crenshaw, she had her head in her hands. [I have my had in my hands. I'm the one who actually wrote this crap.] The woman had finally given up on this class."

And then Xena stood up and said "but the real question is, who did she do?"

The class with the exception of Sarah, Laura, and Elsie started laughing again, then Mara Suchlensky stood up. "I bet it was Kyle Bradly," Mara said.

Then Kyle stood up. "Now I would not do Trailor Trash (TM) like that," he said pointing to me. [She's sure being complacent among all these accusations for a girl who bit and drank the blood of a girl who took her crappy ring.]

Then my sweet little sister , stood up. "My sister is not Trailor Trash (TM)," she said, and put her hands on her hips.

"Class," Ms. Crenshaw yelled. "Hush up!"

They all just kept talking so i di the usual and got out. Sarah followed for the first time. [Ah, so the atrocity of a class is a common occurence, I guess?]

"I don't understand how the can constantly make fun of you like that, Kell Bell."

I looked over at her. "I don't understand how we're still friends." [Neither can I. Kelly's a total bitch to her.]

She looked over at me. "I understand."

"How?" I asked.

"We understand each other."

"I may understand you, but do you understand me?"

Sarah looked at me questionally. "OK, so maybe I don't understand you." I laughed. "But I still understand you better than everybody else."

"that's true."

"why don't you flaunt your beauty?" [An odd question for a ten-year-old.]

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kelly, you're gorgeous, why not show the world that you're not Trailor Trash (TM)."

"I don't know." I looked at her. and I saw my friends poorly conceled jelousy. "Why, are you jelouse?" I said.

She started laughing nervously. "I'm not jelous. Why would I be jelous of you!" She started laughing at it. Laughing like a maniac. I thought she was gonna go nuts.

I looked back over at the school. "Sarah shut up," I said.

"Why," she had shut up, but she still had that curious face on her face. [If only Stephanie Meyer could write like this...]

"What do you think about the new girl Sarah."

"Well, Kell Bell," she said as we walked up to me. "I heard from my mother that hr father and Angela Goode's mother, are getting married and moving next door to Jimmy."

"Good, God," I mumbled. The Goodes living right next door to one of my dearest friends. How revolting. [Methinks she hangs around the Fear's too much.]

"You should not use thy Lords name in vain, Kelly."

"Since when are you Ms. I don't Use they Lords name in Vain, Sarah?"

"I don't know. My mother told me that."

"Youre mother tells you a lot of thing, doesn't she, Sarah?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know much."

[It's funny to reread over this, as I haven't in thirteen years. But Kella and Sarah's relationship is pretty much the same even in the latest version. They constantly insult each other and Sarah's jealous that Kella's prettier than her. :P]

"Maybe, maybe not. All's I know is that you're smarter than me."

"You got that right."

"Well, you could be a little more modest than that."

I think I was enjoying our screwed up little conversation. "Sarah," I said. "One day you'll get your wish." I don't know why I said it, but I knew it was true. One day Sarah would get her wish. Because I would make it come true. I always did. And I knew that one day Sarah would not doubt my powers.\

It was kind of scrwed up what her biggest fear was. Me. Yes, her biggest fear was her own best friend.

I think that it was maybe inevitabel. I wasn't afraid of anything. And my only weakness was my humanity. It subjected me to human emotions. and I became one person's number one victom.

[This is a bunch of seemingly pointless meandering but it was supposed to show Kelly and Sarah's master-servant sort of relationship as the base of events of later books that were never written. Later on Sarah sort of comes into her own and marries Kratine and becomes Kelly's worst enemy.]

Sarah and I walked to the lake. We often went to the lake. It was clear and if you stare at it you could see forever. At least in the middle. [The lake is full of hallucinogens which is why everyone in Shadyside is insane.]

It was nice there, and I liked it. Me and Sarah were sitting on the short dock. No one knew why it was there. They never went sailing ont he lake anymore, although they used to. [We all remember that lovely incident when five people drowned on a bright sunny day.] I was sitting there staring at the trees, when something changed, and I saw Fat Freddy.

[A poison apple for whoever guesses what book that was stolen from.]

Again. I had seen him before. In my dreams. he had told me that he could make my wishes come true.

But he had to give. me some credit. I was smarter than that. I knew that nothing's free. and that nobody got something for nothing. It was sort of like the kids at school. Especially the three of them--Kyle, Xena, and Mara--boy what I would give to see them dead. I had truly grown to hate them. but now matter how much they teased and tormented me, I'd still have my self-respect. I didnt' beg anybody for help, I was just fine on my own. [You hear voices and see beings other people can't. You're fine...]

But Fat Freddy was an arrogant, self-center guy. he thought he was better than the god who created him. he was stupid, in my book.

He had no respect for anybody. Fat Freddy reminded me of Kyle. Kyle was an ass hole just like Xena and Mara. But Xena and Mara only acted tough to me because they were terrified. Of what, I'm not sure.

But Kyle was a different story. He was not afraid of me. And ofr that alone, he had my respect. I know it seems kind of stupid, but me, and Kyle are a bit alike. We're both smart, fail on purpose, [then you're not very smart] although he was human, he was a very divine human being. I didn't know exactly what he was, but i knew he was something special. Something having to do with me, althought not in his conscious mind.

He held my interest. And I think I even had a little crush on him. But off the subject of Kyle alone, and back to the three of them. Kyle was intriguing. Xena and mara were wimps. They made me sick. but oneday i would get back at them. I knew I would.

I slowly turned to look at my friend. I knew at that instant what she wanted. Beauty. She wanted to be beautiful. Like me. "I know, Sarah," I said.

And she just looked at me.

[Fifth grade? That's what I get for naming chapters before I write them. Is it so wrong that part of me really wants to rewrite this story? Next time: Chapter Four - Scavenger Hunt. Guess which book that's stolen from? ;P]