Saturday, April 24, 2010

Terrible Tales of Horror: Any Way the Wind Blows Part 4: Beware: Rape scene

This story is making less and less sense as I go! :p

Chapter 4: Scavenger Hunt
Justify Full
Sarah’s eleventh birthday approached quickly. It was held on April 14, 1978. [My dad died on April 14. Why I thought it would be an appropriate birthday I have no idea.] It was fun. [Not really. Kelly's a liar.] Sarah and I had become friends with Elsie MacNicols.

What Sarah had said had been true. Elsie’s father, Troy, and Angela’s mother, Sheila, had gotten married.

And now Sarah was eleven, and I was still ten. [She can do math!] But I would be eleven in two months. I have no idea why but Sarah invited Xena, Mara, and Kyle. I think in her own twisted little way, Sarah was making their lives miserable. [Because that makes perfect sense.] I couldn’t blame her.

But when Sarah’s mother announced the scavenger hunt. Things got strange.

“Now, children,” Julie Plummer [Wasn’t it Fear?] began, “we’re going to have lot’s of fun having a scavenger hunt.” All the kids there were. “I have decided that you will work in pairs. And I’ve made a list of who those pairs are.” She cleared her throat. [This woman runs a modeling agency…] “Pair #1; Sarah and Jimmy. “air #2; Elsie and Derika. #3; Hanna and Frank. #4; Xena and Mara. #5; Laura and Angela. #6; Kelly and Kyle.”

What? I thought. Why did I have to get stuck with him? What did I ever do? Why did I deserve this? [Well, for one, you bit Xena’s wrist and licked her blood.]

I felt someone’s eyes on my back, so I turned around. “I guess we’re partners, Trailor Trash.” It was Kyle.

“Don’t call me Trailor Trash, Kyle,” I said.

“Since when do you get up telling me what to do?”

“You used a double negative.” [No he didn’t.]

“Shut up, Kelly.” [Please]

I wondered why I respected him. [how long this crap? …I’m only on page 29!!! This things over 100 pages.]


We had a strange list I think; but it wasn’t really even a list at all. It was clues. Our first clue was “Where they part and return together, is where you’ll find me.”

“What do you think it means?” I asked Kyle, although I didn’t think he had the slightest clue. Well, neither did I.

“I think it means the river.” [Yeah, that’s totally what I get from that…]

The river, I thought. I should have known. Kyle was smarter than I thought. It was a screwed up world. “All right. We’ll go to the Conononka River.”

And we walked three whole miles north, to where the river was. [Because a mom would totally set up a scavenger hunt in that wide of an area for ten-year-olds. Well, Julie isn't exactly the brightest crayon int he box.] We got to where it broke apart and walked up to where it went back together. [I have the Fear Street map somewhere, and because I'm annoyingly anal every event took place on a chosen spot of the map.] “Well, what do we do?” Kyle was a very impatient guy, and he was getting on my nerves.

“Shut up,” I said.

“Don’t you talk to me that way, Kelika Coffield.”

“You know my real name.” I murmered. And he just stared at me. Surprised.

“It came to me in a dream,” he said. Then it hit me. I knew what he was. He was what my kind [What is your kind, anyway? You seem to be one of a kind.] called a sensitive. [terminology from the Last Vampire!] That doesn’t mean he has sensitive feelings, it means he has something of a radar system.

I sat down on the rail of the bridge that went across the river. “Tell me about the dream.”


“I want to hear it.”


“I need to know.”

“Know what?”

“Just stuff.” I looked up at the sky. “Now what the fuck was your dream about?” I was getting pissed off.

“I don’t want to tell you.” He couldn’t even look me in the eye as he said that. And I knew at once the dream was profane. [Prepubescent wet dreams! You know you're excited now!] And I thought, Kyle Bradley had an erotic dream about me. It struck me as funny, so I started laughing. “Shut up, Kelly!”

“How old were we?” I was getting really interested.

“Teenagers,” he mumbled. This was getting interesting. Then he started walking. I followed.

“Hey, Kyle, where ya going.”

“If Kelika is your real name, maybe that cemetary is real.”

Cemetary? What cemetery? The only cemetery I knew of was the one down the street from my house. “What do you mean?” I asked as I caught up with him.

“If it’s there, you’ll find out.”


Kyle and I walked the four miles to the spot, [Scavenger hunt has been completely forgotten. And considering how long it must’ve taken them to walk seven miles the party’s probably over and people are probably looking for them. Kyle, anyway.] Kyle was right. It was there. It was old and was littered with weeks. But you could make out the rocks with little words inscribed in them. One in particular drew my attention, and I knew as I walked over there that that was the place where we had had sex in Kyle’s dream. [In the cemetery? Sick!]

I neeled down and looked at the little inscription. It was small and tiney, inscribed in it was the name of a person.

Here Lies

It was a strange inscription. “Let me guess what it says,” Kyle said. “Here lies Starla. 1882. Beloved Goddess.”

I looked at him. “How did you know that.”

He walked up and sat next tot me. “It was in my dream.”

“It must have been one helluva dream.”

He stared at the ground. “It sure was.”

I think Kyle and I made a true connection right then. One that never left us for the rest of our lives. Even after I died, we had a connection. [So she’s writing this from beyond the grave? mmkay.] “You know what I am, don’t you?”

He nodded. “Yeah.” Kyle turned and looked at me. “Kelly,” he looked back at the gravestone, “I’m not exactly sure what you are, [I don’t even think I knew.] but I know that you’re not human. I also know about your soul.”

I looked at him, and at that moment I think I fell partially in love with him, and I realized one day that we will be together. [This is the part where you’re supposed to go “Awww” because it was supposed to be romantic. Yeah.] “Do you know Fat Freddy?” Yet another thing I say that came out of the blue.

“Sure as hell do,” he said.

“Life sucks.”

“Only yours.”

I turned to look at him. Kyle was my equal. [Please enlighten me] “What do you mean?”

He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You should really pay more attention to your dreams, Kelika.” And he was gone. [So she started out the day as “Trailor Trash,” and now she’s getting sweet little kisses? Well, this story was my fantasy.]
Maybe I should, I thought. But why? How on earth could I I learn any more than I already have. [What the hell is she talking about? I think Kelly's got a few psychological disorders going on and this is all actually taking place in her head, as she's been locked up in a mental insitute since the day she got the magic ring from Mars.]


That night when I had my dream, I took Kyle’s advice and paid more attention to my dreams.

I was seeing this as a whole, and through the view of a young woman. She was very pretty. The woman had long platinum blond hair, and a very fair complexion.

“Starla,” a deep voice said. Starla looked up at him. She looked about sixteen or seventeen and had my eyes. For some reason that frightened me. “I” looked up at him. The guy looked like Kratine. [And when did you ever SEE Kratine?] No, he was Kratine.

“Yes, Kratine.”

“You have been a naughty little girl.”

“Yes, I know.” I could tell Starla did not want to be there. There? Where was there? What the hell was I talking about. MARS!

I was on the planet Mars. In my first life. No, it was not in my first life. If it was, it would not have been earlier than the nineteenth century. [WTF?]

I was screwed. [This seems to be a recuring theme.]

“Now, Starla,” Kratine began, “we both know you’ve been bad, so you don’t have to hide it any more.”

“Yes, sir.”

“But, do you know what I do to bad little girls?”


“I hurt them.”

“How?” I was afraid to know.

“How old are you Starla?”

“32 cycles.”

“Why, your still very young.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Have you conceived yet?” [I think I had conceived mixed up with consummated.]


“Then that’s how.”

“No!” [Here comes the rape scene...]

But it was too late. Over the minutes the two were talking, I went into Starla’s memories, and found out what she had done. Starla had left Mars to see how her planet was, and without asking. [And why did the bitch come back? She's a fucking moron.]

Starla was from a solar system very similar to that of ours, but very far away. Her own sun was much smaller, her planet was too, and it traveled around the sun in half the time of 9ours. A year to them, was sis months to us. As Starla was 32 cycles, she was 16 years. [Everybody getting this? There will be a quiz.]

During this time, Kratine grabbed Starla by her hair and dragged her down to a canal. A canal on Mars?

And there were ruins of a what seemed to be an ancient civilization. Scientists did say that Mars could hold life up till about a million years ago. [According to the Season of Passage, anyway.]

And then I saw it. The ring. My ring! The one aunt Laurella gave to me, what had she said when she gave it to me?

“It’s from Mars. It’s a party of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s more to it than what meets the eye.”
What the hell did aunt Laurella mean?

Kratine threw Starla on the ground. Hard. “Now we’re gonna hve fun.” that worried me.

“Please don’t hurt me.”

[I’m going to omit this part as it is….disturbing. Extremely disturbing considering I wrote it. When I was twelve. But basically Kratine rapes her, he has a forked tongue and I described his penis as being “as long as a baby python. Ball python, that is. But five times rounder.” *resists urge to burn pages* It got too gross for even Kelly to narrate.]

I will not gross you out with the rest of this disgusting pool of lust, but I will tell you what happened after it.

Starla left the chamber of horrors wearing some of Kratine’s metallic clothing. For, she no longer had any of her own.

Starla borded her shuttle named CANDACE, after her sister. Aboard it, it was amazing. They had all these controls, it looked like a modern day Nintendo game. [And she was having this dream in 1978.]

I was looking around. There was one bedroom and of course, it belonged to Starla. And there was also this little cow bathroom. [oh my god! Cow bathroom! The Maxx references continue! Mr. Gone (the serial killer rapist villain in the Maxx) had a cow bathroom.] On her planet cows were a rare treat. I liked the cow bathroom.

Starla got in the CANDACE, and left for Earth. [When did this turn into a crappy scifi story?]


Since the CANDACE was a very faast moving shuttle, Starla got to Earth in a matter of hours.

Since she knew that Earthlings were primative and stupid, she made the CANDACE land into a lake. [Why wouldn’t she?]

But before it crashed, she jumped off and landed on the ground in a maze of trees. [yeah…okay…]

Starla went wander around in the trees that surrounded the lake for days. There seemed to be no end to them.

Finally, about a week later, Starla managed to find a house. It was small, and Starla could tell it sat apart from the rest of the village. [That would be kind of obvious, don’tcha think?] The perfect place for Starla to hide. She was still afraid that Kratine might find her. And hurt her. But that was silly of her. [Seems like a legit fear to me since he, you know, raped her.] Kratine couldn’t come to Earth. He was forbidden to.

But how? When? Starla knew that Kratine had been around at the beginning of mankind on Earth. Something had happened to destroy his planet. What people now call Mars.

But what really got Starla was that Kratine said Starla had something to do with.

But that was impossible. She was 32 cycles old. Mars was destroyed over a few million cycles ago. Way before she was born.

Starla bravely walked up to the cabin and knocked quite softly. At first, the person inside did not seem to hear her. But as she was about to knock again, the person answered.

She was kind of short, and had long blond hair. She looked shocked to see Starla. Of course, this was Earth.

I, Kelika Coffield, saw that Starla had my abilities, and that the girls name was Kara. She was young and in her first life. That meant she wasn’t all that brite. But surprise, surprise.

“My God,” she said. “What are you?”

“I’m a friend, Cara.” [Could never be consistent with names.]

“How do you know my name?”

“May I come in?”

“As long as you don’t hurt me.”

“Of course.” Starla walked into the cabin and looked around. It was small, but comfortable. But Kara looked petrified. “You don’t need to be afraid of me, Kara. I’m a friend. I care.”

[I wonder what Starla actually looks like. As there is yet to be a physical description aside from Kratine’s penis.]

“You didn’t answer me. How do you know my name?”

A slight shadow crossed Starla’s face. Then it disappeared. “Do you have any clothes that I may be in use to wear?”

“Yes.” She slowly walked over to Starla. “If I give them to you, will you tell me what you are?”


Starla got the clothes on and sat down in the sitting room next to Kara. “Do you really want to know what I am?”


“I am a goddess. I am your goddess.” [That line’s lifted from something Christopher Pike, but I can’t remember which one.]


The two of them became friends over time. The best of friend. And all through those five years she had never seen Kratine again. [So two adult women lived alone in a cabin for five years during the end of the nineteenth century, huh. Let’s say there was some lesbian action going on. Makes this story more interesting.]

But then one day, Starla was struck with a terminal illness, and she slowly began to whither away. But not completely. Not her soul.

“I can’t see you go like this,” Kara said to Starla. “Why does your end have to come this way.

“It’s not my end.”

“What do you mean, Starla?”

Quickly, Starla told Cara about her life. “That’s why I came to Earth.” Starla concluded.

“My God.” Kara seemed so caring, so worried. It almost made me want to cry.

“Yes, maybe,” Starla felt herself fading away. [Was that supposed to be a clever quip?]

“Will I ever see you again?”

“Yes.” And I knew I would. I always did see my friends again.


I woke up with a start. The dream frightened me. No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. A memory that never dies. [how poetic…] A member that sticks with you for the rest of your life. I hated it.

I went into my dresser drawer and got my diary.

This is what my room looked like.

[Alas, you shall not see my crappy drawings because I am too lazy to hook my scanner up.]

Quickly, I jotted down the dream of mine that you just read.

It struck me as funny that Kratine was real when all this time I just thought he was a hullucination of my inner subconscious. [And because you had a dream you were an alien and he raped you he’s suddenly real?]

Like I have thought and said many times, past, present, and future;

I was screwed.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

For Sh!ts and Giggles

I've been getting caught up on Vampire Diaries. I read the books when I was a kid and liked them well enough but didn't like them much when I reread them last year but I absolutely love the show. The new sequel sucks, by the way. Don't waste your money. It was one of the worst books I've ever read, even surprassing Fear Street's Who Killed the Homecoming Queen?

But anyway, I'm on ep five and they showed us a glimpse of Vicki's license. Why is this funny? Because I live in Virginia and the license is WRONG!!! She's under 21 so her license would be vertical, not to mention the fact that they changed them completely as of last April and the under 21 license now is beige and has flowers on it. :p I'm a dork.