Sunday, March 1, 2009

The Enemy Within, Part 3

Last time, Gracie’s is shacking up in the body of Que Ellen Bizac, a girl from a French family that lives in Scotland and is vacationing in Italy. Lauren’s followed her though we don’t know who she is yet. And Gracie is dating a guy named Stefan, who is actually Justin, a guy who is in cahoots with Lauren. And their great plan is to make Gracie fall in love with him and then kill her. Make sense? No? Moving on.

Chapter 9: Lauren and Justin sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. . . . .

The weeks past quickly for Gracie. But slow for Lauren. Lauren just stood by as London watching Gracie as Que Ellen making a fool out of herself for Justin as Stefan. It was a confusing tale of who was who, and Lauren stuck right in the middle.

Lauren was getting impatient for Justin to propose to Gracie. She wanted Gracie dead and to have Justin all to herself. But of course Gracie couldn’t die because they weren’t home. They were here in this strange and primative world.

Lauren remembered Justin’s tale of how he came to this bizarre land. . . . .

* * * * *

Justin and his friends Billy and Sara were going to go steal a care when they saw the swirling gateway. Sara dared the boy’s to go through it. Only Billy did though. And when he didn’t come out of the other side she started crying and Justin told her that he would go through and bring Billy back. So then Justin went through. And wound up her in the year 1743. . . . [Is this foreshadowing for Billy showing up later, too?]

* * * * *

Lauren sat back and thought about his story, and how different it was from her’s. This is ridiculous, she thought. Why don’t we just kill her? She’s had it coming to her since that day. I can’t believe we were ever even friends. It’s sick. It’s pathetic. It’s--

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Come in,” she said.

Then Justin came in.

Lauren quickly sat up. “Does Gracie know your here?”

He shut the door. “No. And I’d like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.”

Lauren got stood up. [When did that happen? ^_-] “Justin, I am really getting sick of this. I just want to kill her.”


“She’s always saying things like ‘I’m the more beautiful one, London, and--’” [And that’s a perfectly good reason to murder her. I think one of her incarnations was as Andy Drexil.]


“‘I’m better than you, London,’ oh and this one’s really smooth, ‘You are nothing but a slutty little Lauren winnable.’”

Then Justin just grabbed her and kissed her hard on the lips. [My first love scene!] The kiss got more and more passionate. Then, the door opened and the stunned face of Gracie Deck A.K.A. Que Ellen Bizac, ran off in shock.

* * * * *

Chapter 10: Lauren?

Gracie was running and running, but she didn’t know where she was going. I can’t believe that they would do this to me. London and Stefan of all people. Why? Why? [Obviously she came in late in the conversation if that’s all she’s concerned with.]

Gracie finally came to a stop. At a bridge over a roaring river. [That can’t be good.] She just sat there. Just sat there and sat there and sat there and sat there. . . . . [Not standing. Sitting.]

* * * * *

Just and Lauren pulled apart. “Oh no, Gracie found out,” Lauren said in great panic.

“So what. Now you and me can be together. Without her.” [Was that ever an issue, really?]

“But you don’t understand. This’ll ruin everything that we’ve worked so hard for.”

“So. Let’s just kill her when she gets back.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. [Justin just wants to get into her pants.]

“No,” she pulled away from him once again. “You don’t understand. I have to go after her.”

He put a hand on her arm. “Lauren.”

She shook it off. “You don’t understand.” Then she ran out of the room to go find where Gracie went.

* * * * *

Grace was just sitting there thinking. I wanna go home. I miss my daughter. Julie. [What about Julie‘s father? She never spares a thought to him. Or are people so advanced in her world they‘re capable of asexual reproduction?] She felt tears forming in her eyes. She quickly rubbed them away.

“Gracie,” a familiar voice said. Then she got this funny feeling that she only got when she was around Lauren and Stefan. Why the hell did someone call me Gracie? [Well, since you were telling London she was a “Lauren wannabe” who knows what else you might’ve let slip.] She looked behind her to see who said it. It was London.

“Why the hell did you call me that London? My name is Que Ellen, not Gracie.”

“Don’t play dumb Gracie. But of course you’re not playing.” [Oooh! Nice one.] “I knew who you were since the day you started inhabiting Que Ellen’s body.”

“What are you talking about London?” Gracie was beginning to get worried. Had London truly discovered her secret? [It’s obvious!]

“While we’re talking, let’s get another thing straight. I’m not London. I’m Lauren.”

“Lauren?” Gracie gasped. No, she thought. This has to be a joke. A really sick joke. It’s got to.

“Yeah, that’s right. Lauren. In case you want to know, Justin is also one of us.” She giggled. “But of course you know him as Stefan. I’ve known him for years.” Her smug smile came off her face. “We planned all this.” [I’m thinking being stuck as a spirit in another realm prohibits you from maturing. ^_^]

“You mean. . . .” Gracie pointed an accusing finger at Lauren.

“Yes. Me and Justin had this set up so well. But you just had to step in. In the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“Lauren, is that really you?” [Kind of slow on the uptake, isn’t she?]

“Yeah Gracie. It is me.”

“Oh my god.”

“Don’t act so suprised, Gracie. Cause in a way, you knew that I was here all along.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that tingly sensation you get whenever your around me and Justin.” Lauren didn’t wait for her to answer. “Well that’s how you know. You only get that feeling whenever you’re around being that aren’t from this world,” she said gesturing around to the land around them. “So in a way you have your own little tracking device. That’s how I met Justin.”

“How long have you been in London’s body?”

“Longer than you’ve been in Que Ellen’s body?” [I don’t think that should be a question.]

“Oh.” She started to walk away.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked Gracie in a heated tone.

“Away from you.” She turned and started walking again.

“Oh no you’re not!”

“Oh yes, I am.”

“Oh no, you’re not.”

“Yes I am Lauren. And there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” [That was probably the wrong thing to say.]

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. It’s right.”

Suddenly Lauren jumped on her, strangling her. Pulling her hair. Hurting he. Gracie herd the surprised shouts of the crown. [There was a crowd? Why wasn’t there any reaction from Lauren’s monologue about beings from another world?] Cause to them, the girls were London and Que Ellen Bizac. Not Lauren Sanders and Gracie Deck. [It’s not the fact that they’re identical twins beating the shit out of each other, it’s that they’re Que Ellen and London Bizac, who are the equivalent of this world’s Wakefield twins.] Then Lauren hit Gracie’s head on the pavement. The world went black for a moment. Lauren grabbed her by the throaght and brought her over to the rail of the brige. [Knew that bridge was a bad place to be.]

“Now it time for you to die.”

Why is this happening? Gracie thought. With that thought in her head, she braced herself for another meat with death. . . . .

* * * * *

Chapter 11: Till Death Do Us Part

She braced herself for the pain, but it didn’t come. Then Gracie opened her eyes to see Stefan, or Justin--whoever he was--pull Lauren off of her.

“Lauren, are you crazy?” he said. “You can’t just kill her in public. With all of these spectators.”

“I don’t care. I want her dead, and you know it.” She said pointing an accusing finger at Gracie. “And I’m gonna kill her whether you like it or not.” She turned and started walking towards Gracie.

“Lauren!” Justin yelled as he grabbed to restrain her. “Not, in, public.” [Kind of reminds me of the scene in Interview with the Vampire when Lestat smacks Claudia’s hand and tells her “Never in the home.” Except Lestat is way cooler than Justin.]

Then with all her strength Lauren pulled away from Justin and dived at Gracie. The blow broke one or two of Gracie’s ribs and the two of them tumbled over the side. The last thing Gracie saw before she died for the fourth time [Fourth, huh? She died in her own body when she committed suicide, then again when she was in the old woman on the street’s body, so there was one other unnamed time she died.] was Justin looking over the side screaming Gracie and Lauren’s names. And then. . . . . darkness.

[This next chapter is completely scribbled out so I must’ve cut it from the story altogether but I can still read it. . . Unfortunately.]

* * * * *

Chapter 12: Destiny just walked in

When Gracie woke up she didn’t know where she was. She looked around and saw that she was in some kind of waiting room. [Is this like purgatory?] Then she looked at herself. She was in her old body again. She had her shoulder length wavey dark brown hair. Then Gracie went into a bathroom. [There are bathrooms in purgatory?!] and looked at herself. She had her creamy complexion and dark blue eyes. This is great, she thought. I’ve been given a second chance. I’m me again. I’m--

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Gracie looked back at the mirror just as a familiar face came into view. A pale face surrounded by mounds of curly platinum blond hair. And the coldest ice blue eyes she’d ever seen. There was only one way to describe her. Lauren. [We finally get physical descriptions of the main characters twelve chapters into the story. Yeah, that’s the way I roll.]

“What do you want?” Gracie said. [You’d think she’d be a little nastier considering the fact that Lauren just, you know, KILLED HER.]

“There’s a guy who runs this place. His name is Jonathon. He wants to see us.”


“Because we killed each other.”


* * * * *

“I am very disappointed in the two of you,” Jonathon said.

“Who are you? And what do you care?” Lauren asked. [Good question.]

“Alright. I’ll explain. But only if you promise not to interupt.” [Remember that thing I said about the spirits not being able to mature?]

“Yes sir,” Gracie and Lauren said in unision. [There’s that spelling word again. And, once again, it’s misspelled!]

“The two of you are not the only two people who have traveled from one dimension to another.

“Of course not. Justin and that friend of his. What’s his name.” [Billy]

“No, not just them. Others as well. Dozens in fact. But they’ve never tried to kill each people. Let alone each other.”

“Yeah, but it’s her fault we’re here,” Gracie said pointing at Lauren. [Didn’t he say something about not interrupting?]

“You didn’t have to follow me in, Gracie.”

“Yeah, but if were more responsible, and less risk taking, I wouldn’t have felt inclined to follow you in.”

“Oh please. The only reason you followed me in is--”

Just then Jonathon stood up and cut Lauren off. “Lauren Sanders, Gracie Deck, shut the hell up!” [Thank you!] The two of them were quiet emmediately. “That’s better. Now, if you’ll let me explain. Like I said, the two of you aren’t the only ones that have traveled from one dimension to another. Many people have done this before you. People from many different worlds. There’s another dimension every two feet. If you take a look at how big the world is that’s a lot of worlds.” [Well, duh.] “And every once in a while a gateway opens up and people on occasion, go through them. The two of you are no different.”

“But there are some things that--oddly enough--can and can’t happen. First of all, if you’re in a girls body while they have a baby you will be born into that baby unless you were the person while the baby was conceived. Then that baby will be yours and will be immortal like you.” [This will be important later, I promise.] “Then, if tht happens, there is going to be hell to pay. Also, there is only one way to kill you.”

“What?” They both said in unison. [I spelled it right!]

“You’ll find out soon enough. I’m sending the two of you back into the real world.” [If there’s another world every two feet, which one’s real?] “And I hope that you’ll steer clear of each other’s paths. Alright.”

Gracie and Lauren didn’t say anything.

“At least try. Please. We don’t want another mess like this.” He turned to leave. Then he turned again. “Oh yeah. And one more thing. Gracie, if Lauren has a baby, you’re automatically the godmother. Same thing goes for Lauren. If Gracie has a baby, you’re the godmother. And that means you cannot kill the baby. No matter how much you hate it. So, for both your sakes, steer clear of each other. And I mean it.” [Did that make ANY sense whatsoever?] And with that he left. Gracie and Lauren were sitting there. Just staring into space.

After a while they left. Went back to the real world. Not they’re home in Scottland, where they came from. But back to the world where they were damned for all eternity, where they continued they’re distructionous path through the centuries.

[Man this story is ungodly complicated.]


Sada said...

You better hope Christopher Pike doesn't read your blog, because he would steal the CRAP out of this story.

Deathycat said...

LOL. But it would only be fair since I stole the crap out of his. ^_^